Posts by Jill Andersen

Jill Andersen is a coach, speaker, and podcaster who is on a mission to collect 1 million shoulds. An expert on expectations, Jill wakes you up to the ways they hold you back and keep you playing small. Whether you're twenty-five, seventy-five, or anywhere in between, learn how to shed shoulds and level-up your life. Add your shoulds to the million at www.heyjill.com and check out her podcast, "Stop Shoulding Yourself!"

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If You’re Trapped Under a Pile of “Should” and Tired of Feeling Unhappy

“Stop shoulding on yourself.” ~Albert Ellis

I was buried under a pile of shoulds for the first thirty-two years of my life. Some of those shoulds were put on me by the adults in my life, some were heaped on because I am a middle child, but most were self-imposed thanks to cultural and peer influence.

“You should get straight A’s, Jill.”

“You shouldn’t worry so much, Jill.”

“You should be married by now, Jill.”

“You should get your Master’s degree.”

I could go on forever. The pile was high, and I was slowly suffocating from the crushing weight on …