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Connecting with Your Peaceful Self to Overcome Fears and Worries

Man with palm tree

“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~Unknown

It was an ordinary school morning in a busy European city. I seem to recall it was spring, as my memories store the feeling of awakening after a long winter.

I was seventeen and getting ready to go to school. Following my standard morning routine, which included eating my meticulously assembled breakfast, I walked to the tram station.

The city I lived in at the time was situated in a beautiful valley, and the tram ride offered a trip to the hub of the city. My high school was downtown in the historical part of the town.

I loved walking to the tram and even more, I enjoyed walking from my final tram station to school.

There was something different about walking in the middle of old buildings that always gave me the feel of spaciousness, grace, and often mystery. It was such a striking contrast from the modern and mundane apartment buildings in the newly built subdivision where I lived!

The city transport experienced some chaos that morning, as the typical short wait time between trams turned into almost a half hour.

My tram station was really crowded, and I felt lucky I got in. As I stood in the tram that spring morning, looking outside the windows and barely noticing the grey high-rise buildings, little did I realize what this morning would bring for me.

It seemed like an unusually busy day, and because of the delay, every tram stop had a huge crowd waiting at the platform.

After five or six stops, the tram was packed like a can of sardines. I watched people at the stops nervously looking toward us, “the lucky ones inside,” as they likely contemplated how late they would be for school or work today.

I really wished this ride would be over soon.

The tram started moving toward the downtown area. It is quite a steep hill downward into the valley. This stretch of the ride was the most fascinating for me, as the green area framing my view just zoomed by like a wide line painted by a massive paintbrush.

I felt lucky to be by the window and having breathing space in front of me instead being squeezed in the middle of the crowd.

The green space, however, moved incredibly fast this morning, as if it was just flying by. Then I registered a sudden jolt.

After that, it was very quiet. In the midst of this silence, all of sudden I heard a voice asking for help. It sounded quite frightened as it repeatedly asked, “Please help.” Who is saying this? I wondered.

If you ever experienced no connection to the concept of time, this was it. After I heard the same voice a few more times, I came to a surprising realization. It was mine.

This voice was coming from my body, yet I felt I was a completely peaceful self, compassionately watching someone who was frightened.

Later on I realized the tram derailed and flipped sideways. I was saved and physically unharmed because I was on the “lucky” side of the tram.

I continued the journey called life, but something unlocked inside me. In fact, I was “haunted” for years by the experience of my “peaceful self,” which had listened to my scared physical self.

Needless to say, I continued to live my life for a few decades very often identified with my scared physical self but always wondering about my peaceful self.

Who am I really? Who was the part of me that heard my voice?

Fast forward many years, I encountered the presence of my peaceful self once again. Luckily, this time it wasn’t in an accident.

After years of hard work establishing myself as an immigrant, learning a new language, and creating financial stability, I decided to end my job and step into unknown and uncertainty. I didn’t know how I was going to earn money; I just knew what I did before wasn’t part of my life’s purpose.

My body shriveled with fear. My mind was racing with thoughts about my bleak future and losing everything I had ever worked for. Not only that, but this could have meant I wouldn’t be able to help family members that I had previously helped out financially.

I remember it was a bright sunny day and I was in the office with my boss. The glass windows in the corner of the building surrounded us and lit up the space.

I felt I was bathing in light. I was literally not able to speak. My mind kept saying: You can’t do this! And then it happened again. I heard a shaky voice saying: I decided to quit.

Have you ever felt your chest opening up? In this moment, I felt as if a cave opened inside my heart. A wave of calm spread through my body. My peaceful self was there, watching and observing my scared self. I cried tears of relief.

These days, I don’t even question my peaceful self. I just trust it’s with me everywhere, holding its arm around my shoulders and whispering: Trust. You are going to be okay

And as I embarked on a life time journey of meditation reconnecting with that peaceful part of myself, I repeatedly remind myself that I am simply able to watch my frightened physical self.

And so can you.

Whenever you feel stuck in life and full of fear or desperation, remember that the big, real part of you is simply the peaceful observer that can watch the physical self. It can watch the fear, sadness, or anything that arises inside you. And it will watch it with love and compassion.

We often experience pain when we associate with our thoughts and believe that we are our mind and our emotions.

Do you have a thought that frightens or worries you right now? Simply say to yourself that you are noticing that thought. Say it at least five times until it feels more and more distant. Now you are coming much closer to being your peaceful self.

My reconnection with my peaceful self brought so much more freedom to my life, and I believe it will bring freedom to your life too. Visualize it holding its arm around your shoulders and telling you: Trust. You are going to be okay.

Man with palm tree image via Shutterstock

About Edita Atteck

Edita Atteck joined the world of transformational coaching as a result of her passion to help reduce anxiety, chronic stress, and to end the entrapment of being identified with one’s mind. She invites everyone to stop overthinking and start living. You can find her guiding workshops, coaching clients, and playing while watching the clouds. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

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  • Hi Edita
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I imagine that was a very powerful incident that really shaped you from that point on. I like what you said about that part of us being the peaceful observer of it all. I have found meditation has helped me with that realization tremendously. We come to realize all the fears, anxieties, thoughts and the like are really not us, but kind of separate. The real us is pure peace, knows exactly what we want, and can help nudge us towards our highest good when we learn to tune in and listen.

    Great post!

  • Edita

    Thank you Kelli! I am so glad you enjoyed my post.
    I believe our world would be a better place if all beings connected to the core of peace and love that we are 🙂

  • Nina

    Why not mention the city in Europe? Would have been interesting to know where it took place.

  • Thanks Edita for your story of transformation. I am in an unusual stage of my life right now and not sure whether I am going or coming, up or down. I do feel stuck because I feel like I am forever fighting to free myself of the invisible bondage. I have worked hard and like you I was an immigrant in another country trying to better myself but after a number of years I found myself right back where I started desolate and not sure what happened. It is not that I have been working hard or doing the right things it is just that I have all my life felt like I am imprisoned but why and for what I do not know. I have worked hard all my life and every time I see the light and start thinking this could be my lucky break I am only showed backwards into darkness.
    I am at the stage of my life where I am trying to find myself and to start all over because I was trapped and in bondage for so long I refused to fight anymore. I do not know whether the will to quit fighting is the right decision but all the fighting have only left me broken, tired, damaged, hopeless, and bitter. I do not know what if anything life have in store for me but I am hoping I will find me in all of this darkness.

  • Edita

    Thanks for sharing Rose! From my own experience I sincerely believe that when we stop fighting and simply start accepting what is, major shifts happen. So much energy goes into resistance and yet, it’s exactly what blocks us. Perhaps consider working with a coach or a therapist. I have no doubt that you can find your way out of darkness and into the light 🙂

  • Erica Nunes

    Edita, I feel so much connection, relief, and joy from reading your article. I never knew about your tram experience. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude right now.

    You have taught me what my peaceful self feels like, and you continue to remind me that my peaceful self is always available. It brings deep relief and deep joy when I can trust myself.

    I am grateful for you and forever a student.

    Thank you for sharing a personal journey of yours with us.

    Sincerely,
    Erica

  • Edita

    Thank you so much Erica! We all learn from each other 🙂

  • Becky0237

    That was a very well written, extremely interesting, and helpful article

  • Edita

    Thank you Becky. I am so glad to hear this 🙂

  • A great story of being embodied and in tune with the higher Self!

  • Lisa

    Thank you so much for your eloquent story, and your practical advice.

    “We often experience pain when we associate with our thoughts and believe that we are our mind and our emotions. Do you have a thought that frightens or worries you right now? Simply say to yourself that you are noticing that thought. Say it at least five times until it feels more and more distant. Now you are coming much closer to being your peaceful self. My reconnection with my peaceful self brought so much more freedom to my life…”

    I’ve been searching for a way to detach, and control my monkey mind and over analyzing, in hopes of finding more inner peace. I’ve read that I am not my thoughts, but that thought alone was often not enough. Thanks to your tips, I have a new mantra…”repeat that I’m not my thoughts so just notice those thoughts float by 5+ times as it becomes more distant to find my peaceful self.” Concise & effective.

    Practicing this simple mantra could be life changing for me. Thank you Edita, & thank you Tiny Buddha for sharing such amazing wisdom & life skills! ❤

    Namaste:)

  • Edita

    Lisa, I am so grateful that you found a tip that will help you on your journey. Very often we overlook the simplest things…and yes, they can be life changing.

    Namaste 🙂

  • Edita

    Thank you!

  • Jeevan/Mirthu/Gupt

    So sorry to hear about your struggles…Just hang in there & try to find some positive ways to channel your energy!

  • YOHANA MMARI

    Much appreciations Edita, It is a fabulous idea.

  • Edita

    Appreciation is mutual Yohana:-)

  • Melisa cole

    how i got my husband back and got pregnant after 5 years!!!my husband has been patient with me and has been encouraging me that it will be best if we had hopes that we will have a child one day.last year,we had a little fight and he demanded for a divorce and i was so down because without him,i am nothing.he left me and the next day i met him with another woman in a shopping mall.i even tried talking to him but he pretended he didnt know me.i told my sister about it and she introduced me to the Famous Dr Malaa,who helps in so many ways.i contacted him and he did his thing,before i knew it,the next day Moric called me and apologized that he was sorry for everything and that i should take him back and that he will cancel the divorce,i had no choice than to accepct him,and we have been living happily until i felt sick and went for check up and the doctor confirmed me pregnant.i am so happy and all thanks to Dr Malaa for all his help.contact him now for any kind of problem and he will surely try his best to make you happy. His email is (bestspellhome@gmail.com) or also call his mobile +2348159645271.thanks once again Dr Malaa for everything 🙂

  • Melisa cole

    how i got my husband back and got pregnant after 5 years!!!my husband has been patient with me and has been encouraging me that it will be best if we had hopes that we will have a child one day.last year,we had a little fight and he demanded for a divorce and i was so down because without him,i am nothing.he left me and the next day i met him with another woman in a shopping mall.i even tried talking to him but he pretended he didnt know me.i told my sister about it and she introduced me to the Famous Dr Malaa,who helps in so many ways.i contacted him and he did his thing,before i knew it,the next day Moric called me and apologized that he was sorry for everything and that i should take him back and that he will cancel the divorce,i had no choice than to accept him,and we have been living happily until i felt sick and went for check up and the doctor confirmed me pregnant.i am so happy and all thanks to Dr Malaa for all his help.contact him now for any kind of problem and he will surely try his best to make you happy. His email is (bestspellhome@gmail.com) or also call his mobile +2348159645271.thanks once again Dr Malaa for everything 🙂

  • Edita, I am so glad you are well… what a frightening experience – yet a beautiful one where you were able to hear your voice. I totally get that. I lived far too many years in fear – hiding, pretending, doing whatever to feel safe and loved and accepted (even though I often put myself in such terrible circumstances).

    You must be on the right track… as you used your voice to quit your job and find you passionate purpose! I wish you much success <3

  • Edita

    Thank you Shannon. On the other side of what we don’t want to face, lies everything we want 🙂