“We choose our destiny in the way we treat others.” ~Wit
Growing up as a high-level swimmer, I used to be a very self-centered individual. Just about everything in my life revolved around becoming the best swimmer I could be.
I spent countless hours training, getting ready for workouts, and visualizing my future success. Helping others wasn’t on my radar. The idea of contribution was still foreign to me.
Fortunately, I was passionate about swimming and I had a purpose to my life, so I was happy.
But eventually my swimming career ended, and all of a sudden I started feeling a profound lack of fulfillment in my life.
I did what most college students do to fill the void: I turned to alcohol and constant partying. I was having fun, sure, but deep down I knew something was missing.
I started diving into Buddhist philosophy, and the concepts of compassion, contribution, and oneness started making their way into my consciousness.
When I graduated college, I landed a “prestigious” corporate job, and although I was making good money, something was still missing.
I had this lingering feeling that my work wasn’t truly serving others and didn’t have a real impact on the world.
I quickly realized that this job wasn’t my dharma, so against everyone’s advice I just said, “Screw it” and I quit.
After a few months of confusion about what to do next, I decided to move to the other side of the world. I packed up my bags and relocated to Perth, Australia.
My intention? Discover my true self and my life’s purpose.
As I started going further down the rabbit hole of personal development and spirituality, I realized that the best way to achieve happiness and success is through helping others in meaningful ways.
As Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is in the service to others.”
I decided it was time to start contributing on a bigger scale, and to share all this wonderful wisdom I was discovering through a blog. Eventually, I decided to “go pro” and become a Peak Performance Coach.
At first, I have to admit that I wasn’t too sure what I was doing. I tried my best to help, but didn’t really know how to go about it.
So I sought advice from accomplished coaches and psychologists, worked diligently on my craft, and learned effective ways to help people.
Since then, I’ve worked with clients from all walks of life and I’ve gotten infinitely better at coaching them.
This has allowed me to experience the deep fulfillment that comes from meaningfully helping someone improve his or her life.
And I want the same for you.
I truly believe that we are all life coaches. We always have opportunities to help the people in our life with the challenges they’re facing.
This is especially true if you’re reading this website, as you’re the kind of person who wants to understand life on a deeper level, and to experience it consciously and meaningfully.
That’s why today I want to share with you five tips on how to help people more effectively.
By using them, you’ll be in greater service to those around you, and you’ll enjoy the blissful feeling of knowing you’ve made another person’s life better.
1. Ask powerful questions.
Oftentimes, when people ask you for help, they already know the answers deep down, they just can’t see them. Your job is to ask the questions that will help them find the answers that are buried within them.
Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions and really get to the root of the issue. Most people don’t take the time to fully understand what’s going on in their own mind, and your questions will help people really uncover what’s happening up there.
Here are a few good questions to add to your repertoire:
“What do you really want?”
“What’s your heart telling you to do?”
“What’s a more empowering way you could look at this situation?”
“What’s one thing you can do right now to make things better?”
2. Listen patiently.
Once the other person starts opening up, you might be tempted to jump in and offer your brilliant advice. But hold your tongue and listen. This is how you’ll really get to the core of the issue.
Listen, be fully present, and make your interlocutor feel as though they’re the most important person in the world.
3. Put yourself in their shoes.
One of the most important aspects of helping others is empathy—the ability to put yourself in their position. The reality is, we all have a different background, philosophy, and perception of the world.
You need to make an effort to see things from their perspective to really give them your full contribution.
4. Don’t be afraid to speak the hard truth.
The greatest gift we can give people is to be honest with them, even if that means telling them something they might not like to hear at first.
This honest feedback is what will help them shift their beliefs and move forward in their life.
5. Give love.
When someone’s going through a hard time, you might not be able to ask them the question that will give them an “aha” moment, or to provide them a paradigm-shifting piece of advice. But one thing you can always do is give them your love and support.
Love has incredibly healing qualities, and sometimes telling someone, “I believe in you” can literally change their life.
Never underestimate the magical powers of love.
Time has taught me that helping others is one of the simplest ways to fill our life with joy and fulfillment.
Every time someone comes to you for guidance or support, you’re being given a wonderful opportunity to not only serve your purpose, but also to make a meaningful contribution to their life.