Feeling Lost and How It Can Help You Find Yourself


“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Another day, another class missed, another alarm turned off. No motivation but to turn the pillow over to its colder side and lay there half asleep, unanswered questions gliding in and out of my mind.

This was how most of my mornings went in my last days of college. I had never been too motivated by the promise of college, even in high school, but it had always been set in my head that a college degree was my goal, my path to that elusive happiness we all crave.

It was my belief, and perhaps my parents’ as well, that I would head off to have the proverbial college experience and in the process I would become a lawyer or some sort of government official. That I would just wake up one day and say, “Aha! I know what I want to do for the rest of my life!” But that morning epiphany never came.

All that happened was a continuous cycle of partying, all night study sessions, followed by a complete and utter lack of fulfillment. So I dropped out. I moved back home with no degree, disappointed parents, and a deep sense of failure and confusion.

It was one of the most trying times in my life simply because I realized that my life had been on autopilot.

Everything about my future was ambiguously assumed. I would get into debt by going to college, then I would be forced to get a job to pay off that debt, while still getting into more and more debt by buying a house and a car. It seemed like a never-ending cycle that had no place for the possibility of a dream.

I wanted more—but not necessarily in the material sense of personal wealth and success. I wanted more out of life. I wanted a passion, a conceptual dream that wouldn’t let me sleep out of pure excitement. I wanted to spring out of bed in the morning, rain or shine, and have that zest for life that seemed so intrinsic in early childhood.

We all have a dream. It might be explicitly defined or just a vague idea, but most of us are so stuck in the muck of insecurity and self-doubt that we just dismiss it as unrealistic or too difficult to pursue.

We become so comfortable with the life that has been planned out for us by our parents, teachers, traditions, and societal norms that we feel that it’s stupid and unsafe to risk losing it for the small hope of achieving something that is more fulfilling.

“The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.” ~Jawaharlal Nehru

Don’t take me wrong though; taking a risk is still a risk. We can, and will, fail. Possibly many, many, many times. But that is what makes it exciting for me. That uncertainty can be viewed negatively, or it can empower us.

Failing is what makes us grow, it makes us stronger and more resilient to the aspects of life we have no control over. The fear of failure, although, is what makes us stagnant and sad. So even though I couldn’t see the future as clearly as before, I took the plunge in hopes that in the depths of fear and failure, I would come out feeling more alive than ever before.

And I did. It took some time and some unwanted introspection, but out of the loneliness of my parents’ dark basement, I came out with a bright light of creativity and personal understanding.

I had always loved writing and telling stories, but the task of writing a book just seemed too daunting and cumbersome for a nineteen-year-old kid. So I began writing poetry, playing with metaphors and smiling at similes. And then I slowly began incorporating my poetry into songs, and my passion for songwriting was instilled.

My experience doesn’t entail that you should immediately drop out of school or quit your job.

What it does mean is that if you feel lost, just take a deep breath and realize that being lost can be turning point of finding out who you truly are and what you truly want to do.

I still struggle, I still feel lost at times. I’ve cried and I’ve felt embarrassed. I’ve felt like a failure and I’ve felt pity from others and from myself. But I’m at peace with myself more and more every day and now I don’t even need an alarm to get up in the morning.

I just fall asleep thinking about the people I hold close to my heart and my music, and that brings me more excitement than anything I could have ever imagined.

Life is amazing. I believe we’re here to find happiness, and when we do, to share it with everyone we meet.

So don’t be afraid to lose yourself. The individual that comes out of the maze might just surprise you.

Photo by /Sean

About Juan Arbelaez

Juan Arbelaez is an aspiring renaissance man who enjoys reading, writing, meditating and making music. He currently lives in Towson, Maryland but is originally from Colombia. If you want to check out his music you can visit his YouTube page or follow him on twitter @CogDis410.

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  • As I woke up this morning . . . I had such a deep sense of being lost . . . after quitting a job that made me feel so unhappy for so long hasn’t quite given me the fist pumping clarifying moment I had expected. Being unemployed hasn’t made the decision feel quite right just yet, but this article really spoke to me today. Thank you for being brave.

  • I can think of many people who can relate to this, Juan – the feeling of being on autopilot, only to stop and realise it isn’t what you want. Sometimes this can happen with dreams too – you start on the path of making them happen and get to a stage where you think ‘is this what I really want’.

    Your introspection was clearly vital for you to carve out next steps. I wonder if most people would take such initiative?

    – Razwana

  • Jeanine

    thank you for sharing this. it was exactly what i needed this morning. 🙂

  • it’s funny how we find exactly what we need when we thought there wasn’t anyone to help us. thanks for the article 🙂

  • ByX

    Unfortunately, I feel quite a connection with what you wrote. Actually I’ve been feeling miserable for several months now, since I changed my job in an attempt to start doing something “meaningful” for me (in terms of money in the future, maybe helpful in certain aspects and from time to time for me and my relatives) (although I was not persuaded this was the right job I really want to do). The result so far is that I feel lost and very incompetent, doing something I don’t like, something I don’t know and not knowing what else I could do and what else I would be capable of doing (if there even is something like that). I am unable to enjoy meetings with friends or spending my free time since I am preoccupied in my head with thoughts on my current situation… I don’t feel any energy, any lust for anything. I understand well your mornings back then…I look back on my previous job and see it as a better job for me, although I had not felt any passion for it anymore before I quit. I’d just like to ask what do you do now, for living? Are you able to make a living out of writing songs? Anyway, good luck and thanks for writing.

  • ByX

    By the way, it is a job in the legal field..

  • It was a nice read just to see that there’s others in the same boat. I myself have been feeling lost for quite some time, but in the end just as you say during all of that it gave me an opportunity to search and find what it is that suits me best. It is still a battle and a risk to get to where I want to (especially with the whole onlooking of the parents being disappointed with me choosing the path that I have). In the end I think that if I went along with what they wanted me to do I would be miserable for longer than them being upset over what I choose.
    I think there’s always a way, if you are passionate about something you will somehow break through to it, because if it’s something you enjoy you will feel happy with it even if you don’t get paid for doing it..and that passion does shine through to give you the push to actually work towards it. Unfortunately there is still the financial stability issues which I guess can always be a random job on the side. I have hope that things would work out though, I guess it’s just this age when it’s hard to get established.

  • This happened to me last year. I completely lost myself. It appeared I gave myself away to what I thought would lead me to happiness… I was so depressed that I didn’t know what to do anymore, but I decided to go back to school and take a few science courses which fortunately made me rediscover my love for animals. Now, I am thinking in a career in research. I may not have found my passion as of yet, but I will! And I will jump out of bed rain or shine to do it just like you do. I won’t settle for anything else. It’s so awesome that you found your passion! I look forward until I find mine. Thanks for writing this article.

  • “We all have a dream. It might be explicitly defined or
    just a vague idea, but most of us are so stuck in the muck of insecurity and
    self-doubt that we just dismiss it as unrealistic or too difficult to
    pursue.” The courage to follow your dreams, especially when others deem them to be crazy or impractical, is so difficult but so important.

  • Emma

    Thanks for putting this into words, it gives me hope. 🙂

  • Jenny

    Thank you so much for this. Quite coincidentally this feeling of stagnant sadness that you mention in your piece, is what i’ve been feeling the past couple of weeks. It’s true that fear does this to us—but it’s times of challenge that allow us to grow the most. As a recent college graduate it’s been all too easy to be worried about not waking up in the morning and getting that “eureka” moment, that realization of what i’d like to be. Thank you for the reassurance that it’s not only okay but a great thing to be lost and soul-searching.

  • Thanks for sharing this. You know when you read something and you know it’s for you. A message from the universe. That’s what this is for me:)

  • Sarah

    Thank you, Thank you Thank you for writing this. I am in a very similar situation like yours in college and you made me feel so much better. I am going to work as hard as I can in order to live a fulfilling life.

  • John

    You know i’ve been all over the internet reading about meditation and things to make myself happier, when i read this it reminded me a lot of what im going through right now. i am very lost and am going through a lot right now in my life, i am realizing that the people ive been friends with all my life are not friends at all, i am having trouble with my younger brother growing up and making wrong decisions i had made (me and him have been fighting a lot lately) and to top it off i have no job atm and college is only getting harder. i finally chose a major and i know what my passions are but im still so lost. I feel like im going crazy and that i just keep falling further away from happiness and really all i want is to travel and live happily and just as you wake up everyday with a smile on my face thanking god for being a live. im actually in the process of coming off an addiction and its hard, i just really need some insight and a lot of things ive read have been helping me so much. thank you for this juan. i see that im not the only person out there with these desires of wanting more out of life.
    and thank you to all the people that commented.

  • kate

    Thank you for your message. I woke up this morning simply afraid. I am going to be 25 years old soon and I see all others around me accomplishing amazing things. I feel passionless and without purpose….

  • Courtlyn

    This makes me feel so much better! Thank you for sharing!

  • Chung Nujen

    Thank You for sharing your experiences Juan. I’m at a point at my life where nothing makes sense, and I’m absolutely lost beyond words. Your words have brighten up my day:) Again Thanks.

  • Sandra Macacua

    Exactly! I guess this is written for me. Thank you!

  • Kris

    its funny. everyday i feel like my life is over. tho im not suicidal i just have days where idk what to do next. i just walk back and forth to work and all i do is wonder is this what my life is. i stayed out of trouble all my life in school, i was such a square i never skipped class not even once. i wasnt a teachers pet but i didnt disrupt class either. i may not have been the 4.0 genius but i did my best for sure but for what. i graduated high school and now i just work in retail making minimum wage. it drives me crazy.

  • Rosario

    I’ve read a lot of Tiny Buddha articles but this one particularly resonated with me at this point in my life. I totally understand what you mean about feeling like your life had been on auto-pilot from the time we were little. No wonder a lot of us feel lost about what to do – we’ve never had a chance to really explore for ourselves what it is that we want! I am currently unemployed and this is the first time in my life after 17 years of schooling and 3 years of work that I feel lost about what to do. I hope the answer will come in time. Do you have any tips about what to do specifically at a time like this?

  • Rk

    The photo at the top describes it! I hope I find my inspiration like you did. Nice to know it`s nlt me going crazy. Thankyou! 🙂

  • leo

    its very helpful to know were not alone in this fight.. that there is also ppl fighting this 🙂

  • Becca

    I’m 25 and stuck in a management position job. Although I should be grateful to have a job, I took it fresh out of college and never had a chance to explore. Now as I sit with my computer in front of me, meetings lined up, and schedules to work on, all I want to do is run away and never look back. I feel the need for a big change whether its a career move or just a move in general. There is so much out there to experience and I want to before its too late. I feel so overwhelmed and unsatisfied. Student loan debt has me drowning but I just can’t sacrifice my happiness any longer.

  • Rashi

    Thank you for your beautiful words..

  • Chuck

    What if I already took the alternative path back when I was 19, failed and gave up and tried again many many times, and am now 35 with two kids and living with my parents because I have no job and never held one longer than 6 months? What if there is actually something wrong with me that means my arrogance/fear always delude me to making stupid choices? I don’t feel so much lost as wasted and ashamed, better off dead if it wasn’t for the kids I need to make sure DO NOT become like me.

  • mitsui

    I learn something over being lost in life, I always remind my self, “even there is nothing to do, things dont turn out the way you want, there is no reason to be pathetic” go find something you like to do and don’t gave up, its your life, have to live it the best you can, we all make mistakes, important is to learn from your mistake, i know it sounds cheesy:3 anyway best of luck to anyone whos in this lost in life situation.

  • Gubbins

    Be kind to yourself. You tried some stuff and it didn’t work out. Some will say life is telling you to go in another direction.
    I’m the same and looking for the solution. I can’t keep a job either. Or if I manage to I get totally bored with it. I think it’s more through fear and lack of self confidence than arrogance. Arrogance is just a cover up. We just haven’t found something that keeps us interested, motivated, that we love to do. Maybe we’re just not meant to have a regular job but to create something ourselves. Look at JK Rowling. She had the same problem too, was a single Mum with no job. And look at her now.
    I recommend reading “The Element” by Ken Robinson. I haven’t found my passion yet, but I’m working on it.

  • Franco Barretto

    Alex, I’ve quitted my job 8 months ago too. trying to do freelance, but turns out much more aimless. made several mistakes but did not seems to turn any brighter. feeling terrible, and lost.

  • nik

    I am 23 and feel exactly the same as you do

  • Nat

    This article is amazing. Brought me to tears actually. I’m going through your same experience right now and hope that one day I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.

  • shadowweaver

    I also quit my job, nearly a year ago, because it was killing me. I began freelancing and I was pretty successful at it, but it’s sort of a soul shattering experience. Things are better, but I wouldn’t be on this website if I weren’t also feeling terribly lost right now.

  • Chen Yi

    Thanks for writing this. Your words echo my thoughts so closely and have given me some peace. I’m going to make the most out of my “lost” experience and get that happiness on the other side of this maze for sure.

  • Theepan

    I feel lost like, I don’t belong here.

  • Cristina

    I’m 22, mother of a one year old, and wife of a marine. I feel so lost sometimes. I feel like I don’t even know who I am. I moved to a completely different state leaving friends and family behind and it’s been very hard on me. I was going to my dream college, had a cool job, and had to all of sudden drop everything. Now I just feel as if I lost myself. I need to rediscover myself and gain self confidence because it now seems that I’m awfully afraid of life and the risks it comes with. It feels good to know that I’m not the only one with these problems.

  • regina

    i am 19 and yet i already feel lost.

  • Em Stone

    i feel so lost. my friends i’ve been hanging with for the past years turn out to not be my friends. my last job my boss tried to date me. i said no, so he tried making my life hell. thankfully i’m on uneployment insurance.. but money’s tight. i;m teaching an hour of dance a week. that helps and i love it! just wish i could figure out where and what i’m suppose to go and do with my life. i enjoy helping people and seeing them suceed and do go and smile. i also love smiling, dancing, listening to music and believing in my universal planned path. spiritual beleifs buddha stay positive all good things i’m into. just going through the rough patch thought i would make a comment. deep breath. stay focused. trying to not be afraid and learn to fly*

  • sam

    Music is a great therapy too. Try designing a playlist on the emotional map of Muzikool ( and you can think with the playling music to end in a positive direction. For example, designing a playlist from sad to happy that traverses through blues and calm!

  • Joss

    I’m 31 and feel lost. I feel embarrassed to feel like this at my age but I do. When I think about it more deeply, I feel ok with being lost and the worry and embarrassment goes away. However, it comes back when it meets the rest of the world since in those occasions there is often not much time and/or tolerance for thinking deeply. Or so it seems to me.

  • matt clampitt

    I’m 20 and feel like I don’t even know who I am, or what I ever was. I used to be so full of motivation, cheerfulness, kindness a friend to everyone. Now I barely leave my house, im hardly ever in a good mood, and I don’t feel like i have energy to do anything anymore. I don’t know how this happen. I try real hard to understand and the only conclusion im getting is “Me.” I am whats happenened to me. No one els made me like this and no one can unmake me like this, Only I can do that.

  • amrin

    I feel so lost sometimes I thik I don’t belong hre

  • Flexx

    Great article! Very inspiring…! I feel very lost at the moment but I hope to get out of the maze soon 🙂

  • Mike

    When you feel lost you simply have to make a change in your life. You only know what. And if you don’t you(or anyone in this situation) should find out.

  • Daren

    I searched today what it means when you don’t remember who you are and feel lost, this one i clicked on thankfully cause it told me something that i had forgotten in just a couple months. I have always known my reason for being the person I was but lost the reason a month or so ago and just felt lost on who I was and who i wanted to be. I don’t feel like my life is a waste but I felt I lost my reason. I am always a happy person and look at the bright side but that changed and i questioned myself not knowing why. I read this and it opened my eyes to see that I am about to find out who I really am and this low point is something promising, i am remembering who i am and who i want to be. Its not an instant thing but its reassuring knowing that I’m going to be me again and with a greater sense of purpose.

  • Mary

    You write really well. You should think about being a writer. I’d read your stuff.

  • Pingping

    I am turning 24 this year. After uni was over, I had to go back home and now I’m currently living with my parents. Waited for like 8 months until I finally got a job. But, the job I have is not exactly what I wanted to. Been working since 8 months now. I’m not happy. I also feel lost. and trapped. trapped in a cycle of routine. I no more find excitement and purpose in my life. For many, this is what growing up means. I’m thinking of going on a trip somewhere on my own. I need a break from my job, my friends and family. Things are so messed up or rather, I’m messed up at this stage of life. To be happy in life, one must be goal-driven; you must be able to see what’s forward and what you intend to do to succeed. And above all, there needs to be the motivation to fulfill your goals. In my case, I lack motivation to do so. Everything around me is just draining me out. I feel like life is taking its toll on me. Oh, I’m single btw. Not that this really matters. But many people/friends of my age are getting engaged or even married. This makes me feel left behind. Some days, I can really focus and push myself in the positive light. Other days, I just wallow in the blues and question my self-worth. It’s just a phase I guess. Wow, I’ve been going on a rant here. Anyway, thank you Juan and everyone else who commented. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one lost here. Wish you all well. peace

  • Guest

    I’m 17 and just can’t help but feel like I’m blank and emotionless like, kind of like I’m asleep or watcher of the world and just want to wake up. I have no direction of where I am going in life and only do the subjects in college for… well I don’t even know. I’m just lost and want to find who I am before all my life turned to shit, severe bullying and family crisis after the next

  • Guest

    I’m 17 and just can’t help but feel like I’m blank and emotionless like, kind of like I’m asleep or watcher of the world and just want to wake up. I have no direction of where I am going in life and only do the subjects in college for… well I don’t even know. I’m just lost and want to find who I am before all my life turned to shit, severe bullying and family crisis after the next…

  • Jake Bray

    I’m 17 and just can’t help but feel like I’m blank and emotionless sometimes, i feel as if I’m asleep or watcher of the world at some points and just want to wake up at. I have no direction of where I am going in life and only do the subjects in college for… well I don’t even know. I’m just lost and want to find who I am, the person before all my life turned to shit, severe bullying and family crisis after the next……

  • Markus

    Spot on! Thank you so much!

  • kate

    I’m going to be 39 this year and lately I’ve been reflecting on my life to date. I studied hard at school and went on to University and have been working in a professional career for over 10 years. I still feel lost as I did way back when I was a student. Does life get easier? I honestly don’t think it does. With age comes more responsibility, and having to deal with the many hurdles life throws in middle age ie divorce, death and ill health. I have a wonderful partner, family and very fortunate to own a beautiful home in an idyllic setting yet it is sad that I don’t have the time I want to spend time enjoying these things. The thought of working until I retire fills me with dread and I’m looking for a future where I can earn a good living but have more time at home.

  • Kim

    I love this article! And I love reading everyone’s comments. Makes me realize a lot of people feel this way and we are each on out own journey. That is exactly how I felt about college. I couldn’t get excited knowing that I was going to live in debt forever with a degree that wouldn’t make me happy so I just graduated with psychology and now I’m working retail figuring it all out. I guess these are the kinds of articles you find at 3 am when you can’t sleep! Follow your instincts and intuition. I think deep down our hearts know what we want we just need to listen and take the chance 🙂

  • andy

    I feel lost not because I don;t know what to do in the long run
    but because I am stuck with a current problem that takes a long time to solve . 🙁

  • Zalin

    I’m 18 and I’d never felt so lost before. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore. Above all, thank you for writing this. I love it! It fits like a glove. A

  • Charlie

    I feel so lost, after ten years working really well and exceeding managements expectations, being rewarded with recognition for a job well done I am now no longer working or earning an income and waiting to start training to start my own business. I stopped working because my employer changed the business so much so that the money I once made stopped, I always told myself I am in it for the money and when it stopped I left to try and make it somewhere else. I believe I have done the right thing but every time I see money spent and nothing coming in I worry and ask myself what are you doing, do you really know what your doing and who the hell are you, can you really trust yourself. I believe in God and tell myself to trust in the lord that he is holding your hand and leading you right now, I keep telling myself to trust him but over and over I forget to do that and I leave myself feeling so lost, miserable and feeling pretty much powerless.
    I will come back to this website one day and I hope to share good positive news with the readers, right now I feel like a lost child in a big department store desperate to find my mum.

  • Allly

    I feel lost and not sure why I’m here…I’m 29, degree qualified, no job and no bf and barely any life in me, over it

  • guest

    music is enjoyable and stimulating but usually a waste of time. You life long goal is basically to amuse yourself.

  • Al

    Music is life… Ever felt goosebumps listening to any song? Its that strong…it creates harmony.. Otherwise, its just noise.

  • Sophia

    I am in the same boat… The light is dim. I’ve never been like this and I need out.

  • Pingping

    It will take time but force yourself to be positive. Act, do what you can to change your situation rather than staying passive. In my case, I have changed work. Now, the job is still not exactly what I really wanted but I am grateful to the Universe for granting me the opportunity to be in a place where people are friendly. Be patient and keep yourself busy. Above all, stay positive. There is hope, always. For you, for me and us all =)

  • erick

    i am turning 24 nxt year, im in university final year but im not happy doing my course…im trying to find my talent and purpose in life but so far ive found nothing….i do not know what to do because im lost in life….help me

  • Lost Girl

    Hi i really need help with decisions to make. I am going to be going to college soon and i feel like this is the time that i need to know which way to go with my life. Im really into cooking so culinary school would be a dream come true but i am also very good at softball and would like to be scouted by prestigious schools. I feel like its my job to make my own decisions but i want at least some guidance from others and i feel like im not getting any at all. Its just very scary to know that whichever way i go is how my life is going to be for at least a couple more years and i dont want to regret making the wrong one and ending up wishing i did the other. Its so frustrating that im to the point that I’m having anxiety issues

  • Nye

    I feel the same… even if I a surrounded with the people I love, and who love me – I still feel lost. Desolate on the inside. My mind is louder than ever, and this article reminded me that it’s Ok and that following our hearts is just what may be the key to all of our answers and joy, truly. Thank you and I hope that all of you are having a wonderful day! ღ

  • Kirsten

    hi i’m 18 and I honestly think that dying is the best option for me… I think that my parents will have lesser problems if I die since I’m just useless, plain bullshit. I’m taking a college course that i don’t like nor hate but my parents does not really want that course which is finance…. they want me to be a doctor… but then i got into this course… it’s a long story…. but ugh dying will be my happy ending

  • michelle

    I am 19 years old and you just articulated what I have been struggling to even comprehend for awhile now. I am just clueless on where to begin. I am so lost within myself that I know fear my inner passion seems to be hidden too deep. Any pointers on where to begin would be much appreciated!

  • Tebogo

    I feel the same way, lost, hopeless, alone, embarrassed and afraid,
    I’ve worked hard my whole life, raised in poverty and today I’m doing my 3rd year in university studying engineering, got a bursary yet since April I’ve been lost, stopped waking up in mornings missed lectures, i tried meditating all of it but I’m still lost. at a point feel like dropping out but If I do I’ll have to pay company back, i wake up with the hope of that it will be better but its been getting worse, exams are in 2 weeks and i feel like s%#t, to many people are looking up to me too many, the thought and fear of failing haunts me every night.
    after reading this article, I don’t feel alone I know its not just me. thank you for sharing. and God help u all in your struggles.

  • midlifecrisis75

    Thank you for this. Your article really spoke to me, and my personal situation. I’m 39, and after 10 years in the military I feel lost. I know I’m at a crossroads, but don’t know what to do or where to go in life now. I think you are right in saying that sometimes we have to lose ourselves, before we can find our way.

  • Maryann

    I just want to give send a huge THANK YOU to Juan Arbelaez for writing this article!! It has helped me so much right now and I am very grateful to you. For all you other souls out there who are feeling lost and afraid, hold on! The best is yet to come. The rainbow lies at the end of every storm. We are all caterpillars transforming into butterflies 🙂 Sending peace and love to all of you!!

  • Mpriva

    I am 38 and I feel embarrassed, sad, hopeless and terrible lost.

  • Ben

    Its great you had family planning your life, and a basement to come home to. Some of us would give a right arm for that. On the other side of your fence are people whose families are too damaged to care, who want you out of their hair and house, or who don’t even have a roof to put over you. Life takes on meaning real fast in those circumstances, and you have to become pretty creative and resourceful just to survive. This isn’t said in bitterness, its just another experience of life. Real struggle makes life meaningful.

  • Ben

    One of the most damaging philosophies of the last two generations is this notion of being “happy”. Parents have made their children’s lives meaningless by their determination to have their children’s lives be “better than theirs was”, advising their children to “enjoy while they’re young” and making everything “fun” for them. Of course, good parents want good things for their children, but what we’ve forgotten is that happiness is a BY PRODUCT. When you make happiness the goal, you fully believe the illusion that you can “find” it without putting in the time, work, sacrifice, learning, sharing and accomplishing that is actually what produces happiness. You sound like you are overcoming some of the mistakes caused by making happiness a goal, and it is helping you to mature. If any of us continues to accept our responsibilities and also think of others besides ourselves, too, we will find that the happiness comes.

  • Sweetz

    OMG your article is just what I needed to read. Thank you for taking the time to write this and share it with the world. YOU TRULY ARE AMAZING!
    I have felt the feeling of being lost & with no future ahead of me. But after I dealt with those ugly feelings I little by little came out of that darkness. I now know what I want and will work on it with zero buts and ifs.
    Thank you again & may you continue growing ALWAYS.

  • Sarah

    Thank you so much for this article, I have been very lost lately and am searching for some insight or a kick in the right direction and this article has given me the jolt of hope I needed. I am 20 years old and have just come out of a long term relationship that has affected every aspect of my life. I am in the process of saying goodbye to my past and my comfort zones which is throwing me off balance and raising all these questions in my mind. But thank you for the good read and the insight.

  • Zai

    I feel the EXACT same way! And to make matter worse my best who I found solace in (she was single with no purpose in life) just got into an amazing relationship with a long time friend and is now talking about marriage!!! I have days when I actually cry thinking about how sad and purpose-less my life is. I’m not suicidal or anything I just want to be happy and be able to share my happiness with someone. I want a better paying job so I can pay off my student loan and be able to rent an apartment and not have to live off of family. I’m 24 and I don’t even party anymore!!! WTH my life sucks! My routine is get up go to work come home watch some shows on netflix, sleep then repeat. It sucks balls!! Glad i’m not alone though. But i’m tired of feeling this way 🙁

  • Alis

    I wake up in de morning and feeling afraid. De most terrrifying thing is I dnt realize what is my dream to go for. M feeling lost n fail. I am seeing people around me doing better n better in their life but m staying still wandering n doubt what should i do to get out of this.

  • docca

    mpriva, i am the same age as you are.i have had a very hard life in the past. i cant seem to find my true happiness. i have been keeping all of this inside and its breaking me. there is a lot to be thankful for but i feel lifeless inside.

  • x

    Well I have sucked evrything inn. We turn to have a feeling of atmospher everytime we feel genuine but ppl dont turn to notice cause of they are used of us not seeking attention. Have you guys started to think that lies of ppl made us think like we do? I strongely believe if u find the truth of what u are made for then u will find happiness! Happiness comes from knowing each sense in your excistence, now if we are 5 percent out of line we feel it, point being find the truth, look beyond where u digged in, you will see that shifting your veiw will make great happiness.

  • nica

    I’m 18 and i’m confused. i’m still young but i already feel lost. I want to do the thing i enjoy most but there’s always something that’s holding me back. I’ve got big dreams but it seems too impossible to reach. I’ve always been a big dreamer since i was a kid and i only had one dream in mind but it always seems so far away. I’m scared of not being able to be who i want to be someday. I’m scared that in the future i regret not enjoying the only life God has given me. I know i should be inspired by what you wrote but its really not that easy to follow your dream. Everyone seems to support me but its me who i think is lacking. But thank you for what you posted. Its really nice to know that there are people in this world who follow their dreams.

  • Anonymous

    I’m losing myself because of my parrents im all alone no support from anyone and they just keep on threathening me with putting me on the street if i do not do as they wish and yet still they say im free to do what i wish to but im not they’re even saying im not man enough and tell my sister the things im doing are incorrect.
    How the hell am i supposed to stay focused on myself if they’re all against me.

  • Victoria

    Mike that is true! Make a change, try to follow your dreams, travel, do something different

  • jrpieces

    That’s great that you figured out what to do with your life, but how did you get to that point, what steps did you take? I can’t imagine myself being fourty, having a house, a husband and kids and a job i love..I don’t even know what I love or what I am passionate about. I like animals but I don’t LOVE THEM…i do jobs i know i can do and are easy. I hate doing new things and looking like fool infront of everyone..I just don’t know how to get from here to there. I need a lot of guidance. I just want to wake up and feel great to be alive and look forward to the REST of my life. even to have a vision of what i want would be great. P.S I am 28 years old. Never went to College. Always had jobs with Kids or Animals. I am loner as well.

  • BA LA

    Hey guys and gals,

    I’m Ben and 30 years old. I’m at the point where I’ve been lost for over 3-4 years and can’t understand why. I’ve tried different avenues, studying and trying to live a life this society offers (mines in greater Manchester, England) and to some extent there’s a happy medium with work, money, food, leisure, fun, relaxation and other things we take for granted that other people struggle to get. I’ve been reading a book on CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Disorder) and it is starting to make me realise a lot things I could have changed when I first started to become lost or started questioning myself. At the present time I’m lost with wanting to be someone or do something spectacular but I feel as though I’m roped down or tied to society in the 30 years I’ve been educated to live a life of work, rent, food etc. and sometimes it can be very hard just to drop all that and go. I have parents, friends, family, 2 little beautiful nieces I would be leaving behind if I just ‘went’ and did what I wanted to, but I suppose a sacrifice does have to make way and I can always return when I need to.

    I think what I’m trying to realise is, it doesn’t matter what you do, how intelligent you are, who’s rich and famous, so long as you are doing something that you find yourself at peace and if you don’t try and question the specifics on the problem and work at it (I know some might be very difficult problems, but there’s always room for improvement if you allow yourself to do it – unless you’re tied to a chair and being tortured, then that’s a completely different kettle of fish!). I think I need to accept we are living in the world we are living in – that’s a weird way to put it – but allow myself to become someone I want to be e.g. Personal Trainer, Reiki Healer, without fear of failing. The government should make it standard to put self education education in schools so at least we can learn, rather than fall around the place trying to pick up our pieces afterwards.

    Anyway, I wont put too much but people of the universe, allow yourself to be yourself and eliminate those walls, boundaries and think alternative thoughts so it isn’t just a cliche of positive thinking. Just don’t get roped down into a negative pattern of ‘cant’, ‘wont’, ‘never’, ‘impossible’, your line only goes as far as your draw it.

    Ben x

  • sylwia

    Same age here31 and feeling like shit 80% of my did i get here and whats the purpose of me being here? Nothing goes well! I feel like a stepping stone for other people to get somewhere ahead of me. Im not sad anymore about it, now im just angry :/

  • Anne

    I just turned 19 and am about to enter into my first year of college…and am feeling more lost than ever. I fear that I am just going through the motions of life. Graduate high school, go to college, debt, student loans, career, more debt…I relate to this so deeply I’m in tears. I’m afraid and uncertain. I think I’ve just followed the motions of what my parents and teachers expect of me that I’ve lost myself in the process. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know if I want to even start college right away. What scares me the most is my fear of judgment and my overwhelming uncertainty on what direction I want to lead my life in. I’m afraid to talk to my parents about this because I don’t know how they’d react…I’m finding myself having a hard time expressing what I’m going through inside.

  • Lauren Elizabeth

    It’s such a relief to see people that feel the same, you get so caught up in feeling lost in this world you forget other people are fighting their own battles. I’m 24 and all of my friends are in happy relationships, thinking about moving out and kids, employed and can drive I’m complete opposite of this. I live at home, no relationship, unemployed and can’t drive, I have no passion or motivation. All I ever seem to want to do is disappear or run away. But thank you seeing other people feel the same lost, no purpose and not happy doesn’t make me think I’m alone as such.

  • Katja Korsch

    Beautifully written message! I also found myself feeling very lost, after a bad accident forced me to retire from my career of over 25 years. It was actually much more than a career to me….it was my life’s work and passion, and to not be able to do it anymore left me in a very dark place for a while. Starting over completely from scratch in the middle of life is scary, to say the least. I am happy to say that I have clawed my way out of the abyss, and I’m now traveling down a new path with renewed hope for my future! Again, thanks for sharing your inspiring story! I actually quoted you on my FB wall…hope you don’t mind!

  • angel

    i feel so alone aswell i am 22 and i feel lost.. i feel like ther is something out ther for me but i cant find it and every day i feel like its getting harder and harder to wake up in the moring to this cruel world..

  • Faith Alejandra

    I am feeling terribly lost right now.. I dont know what to do.. That “lost” feeling made me strugging so hard that i cant think of any good right now.. My heart is lost somewhere and i have no courage to get it back and pull myself up… Its because ive been experiencing the pain of having a broken family.. I never expected that it would happen to me since im giving my best to have a stronger bond with my partner .. I am still on shock and i am traumatize about the fact the he cheated on me.. It gives me a lot of pain because im trying my best and giving my all.. I am not prepared for this coming and the fact that we have a daughter makes me so sad because he didnt protect us…. I feel so insecure.. I wish ill overcome this feeling as soon as possible because im having a hard time…….

  • Margorella unica

    I wake up feeling passionless and like a failure every morning. My alarm clocks don’t even wake me anymore , it is a drag to get me going in the morning ( hence I used to be a morning person who loved everything and anything) . I dont find anything exciting these days. Ive failed over and over and now after i thought i figured what i wanted I realized i am not capable of achieving it. Your article is motivating though it helped me feel better and to look deeper within me to find a solution. Is good to know others have been where I am now, lost, disoriented and lacking motivation as well as passion.

  • Meg

    I am in the same boat except I have been in college for a year now… I kind of know what I want to do, but have absolutely no motivation what so ever. School is a drag, I am barely passing my classes. The only thing I know is that I don’t like college, and that I want to travel the world. But I want to come back, finish school and get a degree. I am so scared to tell my parents that I want to take a year off, and explore and actually find my passion and then go back to school. I feel like a dead weight! I need to do more with my life. I hate sitting around doing the same thing over and over again. I have been doing it for the past 14 years!

  • Guest

    Im in the same boat. 23 senior in college, hate what my major, have no motivation for anything anymore, studying at night, sleeping during a day.

  • MoodyBloom

    Thats exactly how i feel right now. 23, in college, have no passion for what im studying anymore, cannot get out of bed in the mornings, so i stay up studying at nights, and sleeping during the day. Other days, spent partying and drinking away. The worst of it all is – i feel so lost. I WANT to do something, i WANT that “epiphany moment” you spoke of wanting in the mornings, but i just dont know how to find it, and where to even begin to look for. It may or may not be depression. Im afraid to get psychological help, as i may get diagnosed with something which could possibly make me feel even worse. I like to believe i dont have depression, and just going through a phase, but it just so hard. Im afraid to drop out of college, but i also, do not know if i can finish it. I have 0 interest in it, and 0 motivation. Im considering giving hypnotherapy a chance, also wanting to try yoga and mediation…I heard some people swear by Reiki.. I’m not sure. God only knows how long i will feel so stuck and lost in life. I just know i gotta to do something, take a risk, try something new and beneficial in life,,,
    Reading the article and everyones comments, made me realize how many more people are in the same exact situation as myself… I guess, writing yet, another personal story in a comment just allows myself, and others get it off our shoulders, which is somewhat of a relief. I can see why you resumed to writing, it may be that “road” to that epiphany for everyone that is lost and needs.
    Thank You

  • oldSoul

    i have the exact feeling right now !!


    so here’s the thing, I really don’t know what is that I really want, and I just cant decide what is that I’m going to do with my life. My mom is putting me in so much pressure. I’m just 17 and my mom wants me to graduate college for 4 yrs, so she enrolled me in a 4 yrs course but I failed at 1st try. so I stop for awhile. I’m looking for something that I really want to do for the rest of my life, something that is I can feel the passion, and my mom keeps on saying time is running out and I need to catch up with everybody. But that is what I really need right now, I need time to think. But even though how many times I think there’s nothing comes up to my mind. I feel like I’m lost and don’t know where to go. I cant seem to understand my self what it wants. I feel like my path was so hazy. People around has their dreams, but for me why does its so hard to find my dreams…. I don’t want to waste my time doing nothing… life is too short for that.. But I’m lost and I really don’t know what to do about it…..

  • Royal Conquest

    I’m only 20 now and I find myself thinking those things on a day to day basis. What am I doing? That person has already accomplished this what have I done? and I feel so pointless. I don’t know what to do with my life, I can’t find the motivation to move up or on, I can’t drudge up the courage to overcome anxiety or the will to even pursue a dream. I want so desperately to find myself and I don’t even know where to start. These types of articles are nice but they always seem so hollow to me.. I think I need help.

  • “Bob Dobbs”

    Well written Ben… the best I’ve read here yet.

  • “Bob Dobbs”

    Man… most of you are far too young to be feeling lost. Life is JUST beginning! Might I recommend one of the best books ever written?… As a Man Thinketh by James Allen.

  • Mary Mohammmed

    If you read the Quran you will see your life changing. You will find the happiness that you were checking all those years.

    When I feel I’m just lost in this world I go back to the Quran, I try to focuse on the Quran only. I try my best to follow the Quran.

  • Beautifully written Juan!

  • Thank you for this article.

  • billy johnson

    what is the reason? i mean i leave in Hooper bay alaska and i dont see why it should help out here unless you leaved out here on the western side of alaska out into the villages see,feel,and experience how we leave instead of in the cities live in a village the city life is easy but when you live out here it’s not that easy as you thought because when you guys come out here you guys become single minded people

  • ellen

    Wow thank you so much for writing this. I have been feeling so depressed, and having no motivation anymore to go to college. I would love to become a psychologist and help people, but ha… I think I help more people when I’m happy, because when I am happy, thats what I long to do is brighten everyones day. Recently, I haven’t been able to even brighten my day. I dropped out of college this morning and as pathetic as I feel, somewhere deep down I feel a sense of relief. I had a dream last night, I was looking out into the ocean and saying to my friend, that the further and deeper you go into the ocean, the more scary it is….more creatures that can hurt you… but then I remember saying that I want to go out into the ocean because thats what excites me, that sense of exploration of all those places. I had this urge to go swim out. Life on the shore just wasn’t as exciting… anyway, I have been wanting to write a novel for quite some time. I have thought of many ideas and last week, I started writing down more ideas and it was the first time I felt a bit alive again in a while. I think that is what my soul is telling me to do and regardless of what I do, as long as i am doing what makes me happy, it ought to take me somewhere good.

  • Feeling Lost

    I’m 48, and feel lost…wandering (But not all who wander are lost). Didn’t get the education I was capable of, didn’t work hard enough in any one job when I should have.. over-leveraged myself and am now swimming in a sea of debt. Now, not leaving a job I have no passion for because I need a paycheque. And, being a commissioned sales job, not making sales and sinking further into debt… seriously considering selling my home because, realistically, I cannot afford it. But then what ? Don’t seem to have a sense of direction.. Past projects I pursued have fallen apart… I believed I would succeed, felt passionately about them.. did the affirmations..tried to “live” the law of attraction..enrolled in a coaching program…but it all still fell apart…failing myself and failing my family…

  • S

    As reading the comments below I’ve never thought so many people in this world feeling the same emotions as I go through , as some of you said : “feel passionless and without purpose” , “I feel embarrassed” , “whats the purpose of me being here?” , “hopeless and terrible lost” , all of those relates to what I feel and your ages are not so far from mine! I thought I was alone in this world feeling those feelings and now I know I’m not.

  • jack

    I’m 20 years old and I don’t have a path planned out for me or a dream to follow! I need some help!

  • kimmy

    I’m 35 and i still can’t see where i’d rather be in 5, 10, 15 years. Having no idea what to do with my life used to bother me so much that i did what others expected of me just so i wouldn’t feel so worthless. I went to college, got a degree, got myself a “stable” job with tenure. Now there are days when i feel like i can’t breathe and i just want to run away and keep running until i’m too exhausted to go on.

  • Kellz

    I’m almost 25 and i feel lost everyday. I hate my job and i just feel stuck. I don’t know what to do. I wish i could quit, but unfortunately I don’t have parents to turn to, it’s just me.

  • Barry

    Thank You I’m lost and now I see light at the end of the tunnel.

  • Sean

    I don’t know actually. I’m scared. I love art. I want to do that for the rest of my life. College is making me question everything. My grade is suffering. Yet I just don’t know. I can still draw though, yet my parent might be helping me through college choices, they’re assuming too much. These classes are for a really good school that they picked. I don’t want to mess up but I just don’t know anymore. I’m scared.

  • 14M4N0NYM0U5

    Nice writing. I can totally relate to your story.

  • Guest

    I’m 22 and I feel the same. Like I am trapped in a vicious cycle, and constantly worried that I am a disappointment to my parents, myself and people who don’t even matter. I still feel doubtful if I have chosen the right career because everyday the motivation gets lesser and frustrations pile up. I feel like I am stepped on by people in order to achieve their own purposes, and I feel so lonely and friendless.

  • Anon

    I am 23 and I feel the same way too!

  • Human

    I’m not even in high school yet, but I’m feeling lost, alone, and in the dark. It helps to see that I’m not alone. 🙂

  • tanvee k

    Thank you! I am harangued by this feeling you mentioned in the article, every night when I hit the sack and every morning when I’m grappling with my lazy self to wake up. How important it is to have something that incentivises you to get out of your bed! Diffidence was my ego ally, I was weaned on it I feel but i reckon I’m quite fortunate, for i have some amazing people to guide me and yank me out of self doubt and diffidence. Your article is so well written that i actually had tears welled up in the corner of my eyes. Once again a big thank you!

  • The guy in the movie

    Great piece – I am 46 and my wife left me one year ago. I was very successful in my professional life and as a father of 2 daughters, but getting hit out of the blue after 22 years of marriage my world was rocked. One year later I am ready to get lost… to find myself and what really matters to me now. Because of what i thought my future would be no longer exists, I have a new one to dream of and try and get excited about. it’s funny how on the outside a life could look so perfect, but to the person living it, it is a confused and lost one, far from perfect of happy. Your piece has opened my mind and made be truly believe i am doing the right thing, in losing myself to find me. Thanks

  • Harish

    i m sitting in office right now and reading this. makes me feel good that i am not alone fighting with this. i feel like i have become a robot who gets up everyday at 7am and work till 9pm and sleep at 11pm and then repeat the same cycle everyday. I really want to do something which keeps me alive and motivated. I m bored of this job. and i believe that i ll get bored anywhere i work. So i m confused what to do now in life.

  • mapson

    thank you its like you lived my life. your story relates to mine exactly but I am still in university though. I really needed that thank you very much

  • Eric

    It is great to see that everyone here shares the same pain i have for not finding themselves yet. Just about a yer or two ago i have become aware that i have been on autopilot on life and want to find its true meaning. Everyday i try to understand whether its friends, family, or on the internet. I definitely feels weird being 19 and not having a firey passion. Dont get me wrong, i do have ambition to do thing and have. But i do not see the real purpose of some things and i feel that takes away of me fully being in the moment. Maybe i should get lost and lose myself or keep on searching. Whatever it is i hope i find it and hope everyone does the same as well 🙂

  • Carina

    I’m definitely lost, having the urge every day to scream, punch, disappear, something! Having problems expressing myself, andknowing who I am. I have a fancy degree and business job, I did everything that was expecting from me and I feel more lost than ever.

    Great article and I especially like the quote: “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” I’m just hoping I will find my way too.

  • J

    I’m lost nothing excites me. I dont want to work so hard for so little money. This world seems so cruel. I always end up quitting my jobs because I get stressed out too easily . I will be 30 yrs old at the end of the year .I am suicidal. I’m lost and feel I have no where to go. No one who truly understands how I feel. I struggle with depression and anxiety and have seeked help. Though it helped while I was there now I’m back to point a.Everyday I think about ways to end my life. Being a gay male I struggle with a lot . When you dont feel good about yourself what can you do.

  • Carol J Cox Masse

    don’t feel so bad.. i’m 49 and I don’t know what I believe.. who I am.. or who I trust.. and who I don’t.. my thoughts when it comes to anyone or anything flip flop so much.. it’s literally driving me insane

  • Taylor

    I’m 18 and I’m feeling more than just lost. I’m afraid that I would do nothing with my life. I’ve got nothing figured out, deep inside I’m dying

  • Amy

    im 18 and i feel exactly the same as you, i am feeling so lost.. lost of passion and it upsets me everyday. I have been feeling like this for more than a year now.
    I seem to fall out of love with everything, i feel like i have no passion. I want to be happy again but its so hard when you are surrounded with negativity and people who have high expectations set for you.
    People treat me different too, because i don’t match the picture in their heads, they are disappointed because you didn’t reach their expectations. and its so hard when its family.
    i work a part time job and i am doing a business course and i don’t know why the hell i picked it.. its so boring, i have no interest in it at all and im just stuck and feel so trapped, Because of me feeling this way, it has caused me to get depressed & get anxiety, i don’t ever feel like going out my room. i think so much about life and where i will be in many years, it depresses me.. i see no future and the road is so unclear.
    I want to drop out but then i will be breaking my familys expectations, they already take me for a dumb ass.
    I really do wish i took a gap year to really figure out what i am like, who i am? but i got rushed and presuured to just pick & now im just dealing consequences… i feel so lost and depressed and always feel like crying. i Don’t want to be like this. its been so long. i cant seem to find myself & i don’t have anyone to talk to.
    there is so much to this, so much.
    i always think to myself that no body will ever understand.

  • sierra

    When I read articles like these, I try to tell myself that it is okay to feel lost. I have no idea why I can’t accept my past and just move on to my future. My family has told me that the past is the only reason why I am stuck in life. I mean I hate that my past wasn’t promising but that doesn’t mean that I have to mess up my future. I want to be successful and not say that I was a failure. I want to find my life purpose.

  • j_hammond

    Everything you have said is exactly what I am going through. So I understand! And by the look of many other comments on here, so do others. I just wish this article gave us more of an answer on to what to do now.
    I’m in my second year of uni, and about to take my exams, but due to not leaving my room and lack of motivation, I’m definitely going to fail these exams. And then what? More disappointment from family and friends, even my girlfriend is losing hope in me due to my lack of ambition.
    It sucks so much to not only have to deal with your thoughts and confusion, but to also deal with how others perceive you.
    I’m an atheist and I’ve even gone to extremes of asking psychics and taking tarot readings, and all things point to changing what I’m doing. I mean, if we are unhappy where we are, surely we should take another path? But what path is that…
    I know you only posted 12 days ago, but have you had any luck in any of your ideas? What have you done to try and find motivation?

  • Gs

    I’m eighteen and I feel as if I have no purpose or sense of direction in my life. I’m on my second semester of college, about to turn nineteen, and it’s finals week.
    About five months ago I was fired from my job for doing something really stupid. Now I feel as if my life will never be the same because of this. I feel like I can’t be happy because of the mistakes that I have made. I’m always crying and never motivated to do anything.
    My boyfriend who I’ve been dating for over three years also recently moved about four and a half hours away to go to college there. So it’s also hard never seeing him when he was basically my best friend as well.
    One of my friends has also turned out to not be my friend, so I basically feel alone except for my family who I feel doesn’t love me the same because of what happend at my job.
    I’ve stopped dressing up and stopped putting on makeup. I’m constantly stressed and my room is a disaster as well as my car. I find it very difficult to be positive. I’ve never felt like this before in my life. It’s as if everything bad is happening all at once and I can’t do anything to stop it. It’s like this is my punishment for screwing up at work. I used to be so happy. I’m also sad because I just wish to go back to high school. I was so happy there. Especially senior year. I had a purpose in high school. Now I have no idea what that purpose is. I just feel alone and like I have no purpose.

  • Barbara

    This made a tear run down my eye. I am 20 years old going to be 21 in a month. And I just got to the point where the only option for me was seeking help through the internet. And amazingly came across this message. this really made me feel that even though I feel lost, that there is hope in seeking true happiness.GB

  • Connerscon

    I just turned 23 on May 12 & I am feeling lost but I will use this time to find myself and my passion

  • margie

    are we all 23 and lost?? same here…

  • lindagm

    Thanks. I’m in midlife and pretty lost these days myself. The things that used to interest me don’t anymore. My life fell apart 2 years ago and the old one doesn’t work anymore. Only thing I want to do is walk in the woods with my dog.

  • Geo And

    Dear people 23. You are great and much ahead of many who do not know what it is like to be lost. It is a tough age … At least it was for me. Being lost is a great self discovery. I am 87 and still enjoy wondering what the hell it is all about. I hope I am finally learning from the lessons of the bad times. They seem to teach the most. geo

  • Elena

    I’m 19 yo almost 20. And I am having an extremely hard time finding my motivation to study. It’s not that I do not like what I am doing, I am a student at the very best Law University in my country, but it’s just that I feel lost inside. I underestimate difficulties, such as preparing for an exam, I delay it until the last moment and then I feel guilty and I can not go to that exam and I feel unprepared, of course, because I am and I feel like I could’ve succeeded if I studied more organized. And I constantly think about that, that if I…if I had done…If I have been…If If…I feel guilty that I lost precious time doing god knows what instead of studying, thinking about what everyone else is doing and that what they are doing is far much better than my way of doing things. I feel uncapable to actually finish a task. I have been so used to negativity, never actually doing something right, that when I am on the right track, I feel like I can’t finish so that it could end well. This is my highschool story(before that I was an A straight student). You probably must be wondering then how I got into the best university. Well, I was determined enough but I feel like that was just a gap in time.I didn’t got into the first. I can’t find motivation to finish a task, I underestimate myself and what I am doing, I feel like others are always doing the right thing and that I am never in that situation. And I feel like I am being criticized for my last semester mistakes(I missed 4 exams out of 5, because I didn’t go to 2 of them). I lost every inch of trust in myself, when I am doing something good for myself I feel like I am being considered selfish. My parents are desperate, I am feeling lost, just lost, I do not know how I ever got a boyfriend, how can someone love someone as lost and confused and disturbed as I am. And the most dangerous thing, I hate people for knowing how weak I am and I feel like they are absorbing more energy from me, feeling pitty for me.

  • Yatta

    you are not alone. Almost Every single thing that you said is how i feel… i dont think im quite suicidal yet… .my fear is leaving those who i love behind….so i dont think ill every come that close…other than that…i def. feel you. i figure something somewhere is keeping me here, its my job to figure out why… im 27 and have been crying daily trying to figure out wtf is life..why and why.. i hope u dont give up and i hope u learn to love yourself. i bet u are amazing tho..thats the crazy thing..

  • Deb Cassel

    Dear gs, everyone makes mistakes and loses jobs. I made very stupid mistakes at your age and lost a great job with amazing co-workers. It felt as though i had lost family. But you will be okay, make amends, start a journal and learn how to forgive yourself. I carried a lot of guilt and shame for years and it tore me up. I learned that shame is most self destructive emotion. Please find a way to release that and forgive yourself. It was a mistake, we all make them. Sounds to me that you have learned from it and some of lifes’s most important lessons are learned from mistakes. Positive energy sent to you!!! =)

  • jan_slovak

    I´m 24 and I have also felt the same as you (it slowed down my studies).
    For me, what caused that feeling is somewhere around following ideas (I
    don´t use some words in the same meaning as they have in Buddhism).
    Mind is a shapeable object. It is a self-holding system which is trying
    to do almost anything (even the most tricky (Matthew 26:33-34)) to keep
    itself in it´s current state. It´s not a bad thing if your current state
    is good. Self-holding means that even ideas which could help you it
    considers as meaningless and unimportant and it can prove itself that
    it´s right (in it´s own system). In past I have learned (unconsciously)
    to care too much about what others think of me. And it´s a sure way to
    suffering. It caused me to not like myself as I am If I had not fulfil
    their demands. Modifying old beliefs is simple but not easy and fast.
    It´s all about training. Every time the mind makes a automatic decision
    which I don´t like and I notice it, I consciously make a new decision
    and try to add some positive feelings to it. Important point here is
    that I should concentrate on what´s right about my opinion, not what´s
    wrong about others opinion.

    To the finding of path: for me, the first point to realize is, that I
    don´t have to search a path. Because that strong feeling and rush for
    searching is maybe caused by unconsciously caring what others thinks of me.
    The second point is, then (after a few months or so), when I clear my mind a little bit it will
    probably be much more easy to find a path. 🙂

  • Keep Honkin, I’m Reloading

    Same here.

    At 49 I should have some means of handling or dealing with this….

  • 36yroldhusb&dad

    Very inspiring story. I love you ended up making music, I love music. What I took from this is that you shouldn’t sacrifice happiness by waiting for it. Make your own now don’t waste anymore of your valuable time with complacence.

  • LookingForPassion

    It sucks….I work in retail too and it is mind numbing and soul sucking work…..I keep thinking, “there has got to be me than this…”

  • LookingForPassion

    Time is running out, but maybe college is not for you. There are a ton of really successful people who did not finish college or go to college and there are plenty of college graduates who work at minimum wage jobs, factory work, Wal-Mart, fast food, so college is no guarantee of success or happiness. The key to happiness is to find the thing or many things that make you happy, that seem cool to You….maybe not cool to your mom, but cool to you….good luck to you.

  • Nikita

    Yeah I’m 23. Just graduated high school for the sake of it. Feeling so lost just like you guys.

  • Josh

    That is some powerful wisdom my friend. You know, I went through most of these comments and it seems like I’m experiencing the same thing as all of these people, and it’s incredible to hear how similar all of the stories are to mine are. However, after reading more & more of them I can’t help but simply think, “misery always needs company”. that despite us all having similar stories no one has given any philosophical wisdom, or even after reading all of the stories it has neither inspired me nor empowered me in any way (even the main article which is ridiculously similar to my story except im not into music, but poker). I agree with your wisdom in a sense, but the way you have constructed has me wanting to ask you questions about it in order to help me understand it better: Why can’t a person search for happiness as a goal? are you saying people have to cope with being unhappy until they pursue & achieve something? That goes against the idea of being content with ourselves first and the quality of meditating helps a person to develop the feeling of true existence and self content (rooted in reality). 2nd Almost every parent will make their kid’s childhood fun and happy so Im assuming that’s your personal issue of blaming your folks for it. 3rd, most people here are having the problem of not knowing what their passion is, which means they have not realized what they like to do and that is causing discontent (especially since its been a while and they haven’t found it, and societal factors only add to the problem because all it seems to be is a competition on career and $. If we know what we love to do then yes we have a goal and yes happiness from doing something that we love to do would come. Happiness cant be thought of us as a byproduct because a person is happy when they know what they want to do, and that leads them to take action to get there, that drives their motivation which in turn drives their sense of fullfillment (not happiness). Just saw Donald Trump on tv. He’s running as a pres candidate for the republicans. The guy has over $10 billion dollars net worth, and an average salary of $392 million a year. so people like him were able to find something they were passionate about (business management, economics, finance) and be supported by family and because they loved doing it they were also very sucessfull at it and as a result found fullfillment. Your wisdom can only benefit someone who knows the destination their ‘ship’ is ‘sailing’, meanwhile my ‘ship’is ‘sailing’ without direction. Thats the problem. Its like writers block but should be called Lifers Block. Was on autopilot theough university never really knew my plan would be wheb i completed my BA in econ and Im now broke and dropped out My family is poor and i have zero family friends as networks. I see 1 destination for me in order to live life doing something I love because lawschool (vague plan earlier) is out of the question for a colkege dropout. Its been over a year and so far i have no brilliant ideas and no idea what to do with my life except trying to pursue poker…. F ML

  • Kanji

    Like all of you, I’m in this phase that will probably won’t end for quite awhile. I’ve been in this for 5 years. I’m 18. I look around and see fellow students who know their goals. Motivated for college. Maybe I’m just plain lazy and don’t want to do anything. Then again, I wouldn’t be posting this if I were truly that. I enrolled for IT Computer Support this year, although it’s not something I’m overly excited about. I barely know anything about technology, let alone the basics of a computer. I only chose it…well I don’t know. That and to give my mom something of my “future” plans. Great. Like all of you, I feel as if I’ve been living my life in an endless repetition. Wasting my life. Asking myself “Who are you”, “What do you want?”, “Why?”, “How?”. Stupid. Every time I ask myself these questions, I feel stupid. I hate that. I do know what I what. For the past 5 years I’ve been searching, it’s these 5 past years I’ve always known what I wanted. A child’s dream. A very stupid, childish, ungrateful, idiotic, child’s dream. And yet, it’s the one that keeps coming back. The one that hits hard. I believe it’s a dream worth following. It doesn’t exist in this world, not in this reality. It may never come true. But if I work hard, live in life for something, I do know it will change me for the better. For those around me, and most of all, me. In my end, I’m expecting either of two answers. “Yes” or “No”. Hopefully there isn’t a third .-. Enough of my dumb rambling. Later.

  • seth beck

    For the first time in my life, my biggest challenge is looking in the mirror, not necessarily because of any physical insecurities, but because I am nothing of what I saw for myself at this stage of my life. I am contemplating many things, but none seem realistic or even plausible.

  • mike

    i feel lost sad and depressed 22 years and dont know what to do with my life

  • Joshua Howland

    I’m 19. I haven’t found what career I want yet. The ones I think would interest me have requirements and things I will be doing within that job that instantly and always discourages me. I’m so insecure, lazy, and unmotivated and it showed in high school. I thought I could get by high school and find what I want, but I didn’t. I cried hard reading this and I want to become something someday, and I hope I do.

  • Dying Humor

    me too ahahaha

  • neha

    I feel the same way.I am in a reputed college but I feel like what is the purpose of just mugging up things when I am unable to do anything positive and change the way it is. I want to bring in more positivism in world by understanding people bringing in them to the changed world where we do what we do because we don’t have to impress, earn or live a luxurious life because we have to make everyone’s life beautiful and everyday I just think I am wasting my life eating, sleeping and drinking nothing good. I feel complete looser and sometimes I want to end it at once and I feel like I don’t have courage even to do it.

  • Stephanie Whybrew


  • Millzz

    omg i understand you….

  • Pragya

    Same. Halfway between 24 and 25 and so, so, so lost with no idea what to do. Constantly at war with myself.

  • Figgy

    I wish making a change was enough but it’s not my case. An year ago I took a travel break to find myself, thinking that it would “solve all my problems”. I got back home 6 months later to find people living their life blindly and myself back at point zero. It’s been very difficult to fit in since.
    Now I just wish to live this place again but I got no money, no job, no direction. I have tried volunteering but now I need money to get out of here. So for the past 4 months or so I have been applying for jobs on what I used to do before (linguistics) and other type of jobs too. But the universe probably wants me to take another route as I can’t get anything no matter how good my CV is or how good I perform on tests or interviews. I wish I knew which route to take. I feel so lost and I don’t have any more energy for applying or testing for jobs that I don’t even want in first place. I am feeling exhausted and stuck.

  • Mike

    Perhaps you should talk with a job counselor, if it is provided by the state for free. Or look online for methods to look inside you and see what you really want to do. But if I were you, I’d try to get a simple job, even flipping burgers, just to support myself. And in my precious free time I’d think hard about what I always liked doing in my life, and how I can use any current skills I have to land myself into a new field. Of course this takes time, but your simple job should give you some time to think and plan ahead…I know it’s hard, but I’m not sure that there are many other things one can do. You might have to educate yourself. Check Duolingo, Coursera, EdX. Maybe you’ll find something interesting there. And they’re free :). Thanks for the reply ! Good luck !!
    ps: if you can’t find a solution to a problem, perhaps you’ll have to create one :).

  • Joshua G

    I think a lot of people came here looking for the same thing. From what it looks like we seem to be lost around the ages of 18 and up but it can still vary. We are now realizing our potential is more than what teachers and parents tell us. It does not end with high school or begin with collage, it simply starts with being lost and wanting to do something. The only other part is making that happen.

  • rain

    tho they say i have lived .they say i have a say in this world everyday i wake up to this life they call it life. but what do i exactly call this mess i don’t know if i can keep up what am doing every day is hard cos am not feeling like my self and how did i get here how did i lose the image of my self like this so hard to go back to what i was before and lose all my self image .and i was i fool to ever think everything was gone make sense after all this after what happened ………

  • Bean

    Is it too early to feel lost at 17? Well, yh I’m 17 and have no idea what’s going on. I’m about to finish my school. This is my last week. After this week, I’ll be giving exams, joining college. This kind of excited some days before. I made plans, started studying and was really motivated, woke up early, followed a schedule. Now, even my parents fail to wake me up. All of a sudden, I’ve stopped studying. Despite my various attempts, I just don’t study. I worry alot because of this. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t submit my assignments on time. I know that I’m not doing anything but I still don’t want to do It. My head’s empty. I’ve no idea what to do. I just feel like crying now.

  • Tejashri Joshi

    You know what, I just want a motivation in life! I was so passionate
    about everything I did at the beginning of this year! About my startup,
    about my life.. but now I feel LOST! what am i doing i feel skill-less!
    damn it :/ im 26! some skill ..something ..just something.. i would be
    able to say look after 26 years ive got THIS!! i have nothing..
    nothing.. no motivation.. 🙁 🙁 🙁

  • kfeel

    “I feel lost.”
    this is the comments people put down here.
    but I don’t think you felt lost, I think you are not at where you want to be. the feeling of not being where you want makes you feel badly. but you do know where you want to be, that’s the direction, and here is the problem that you feel like you cannot reach there. the frustration of not reaching there makes you feel even worse.
    I am sad, lost. I spent lots time sitting around reading books doing nothing. I wrote long email to my friend. it is like a crying out for help. but the truth is that I need to help myself. and the direction is there, I just need to be focused on the goal and make the actions to that direction.

  • Nikmarinahussin

    Someone i truly love is in your shoes right now. May he see light from this beautiful piece of article you have shared with all.

  • Janssen

    I’m 33 years old and I’ve been feeling lost for years. I decided five years ago to go back to school and pursue a career in healthcare, but as of right now it’s not going too well. I’ve been working at the same restaurant job for over a decade, bussing tables and running food and i hate it everyday. I see the people that i recognize and some younger than me who have a life and a career already and when they see me, they always asking me with shock why i still work here and bussing tables. I live in South Jersey where opportunity is very little. I always wanted to leave this state and go travel. Sometimes I always wonder if the thoughts of traveling is just the means of escaping my problems or a passion of mine. I don’t go out much or sometimes not at all and there isn’t anyone to talk to around here. I’m not close with my family because growing up with them there were a lot of dramas and that’s one of the reasons why my life spiraled. I just need answers or advice and to be pointed to the right direction.

  • Priyanshu

    I’ll be 26 next month and have no idea what I want to do in life. It feels literally hollow without a purpose. And its not like I dont feel like working but its just that nothing feels worth enough to put my hard work. Iv read all posts on different blogs and they say the same thing ‘You’ll find yourself once you are lost. Dont loose hope.’ But its been like a year without a satisfying job. Nothing feels worth lutting my energy. What to do when you feel like you’ve just lost that vision for your own life?

  • hazel

    i am 17 and i just failed my exams and my only way forward is going back and trying to find a way through but everyone around e passed and i feel ashamed to tell people my results and i was asked what i want to do in life and i m lost right now me please

  • Marj.

    I’m literally the same. Now everyone thinks I’m a hopeless being. Everyone’s disappointed. I feel like I don’t belong to my kind anymore. I’m a disgrace to the family. They’re just building this pressure on me and I just can’t see myself being happy if I continue what I was supposed to do. I’m tired of being controlled. They didn’t even asked what I want to do. But even if they did, I’m still not so sure. But the article’s nice though. Thanks.

    – A dropout & ashamed.

  • Rocel

    I felt lost right now, thank you for your words, I feel like enjoying being lost now so I can find myself; what I really want.

  • Nosense

    I’m 63. I don’t much like my career, although it pays decently. I had things I loved doing, but my wife decided we could not afford it, so I dropped them. I gave up promotions because she did not want to move, and I dropped my first career after about two years in the field because it would have meant moving. So those of you in your teens and 20s, just quit whinging and go do. I have almost nothing but regrets.

  • Lex

    I’ll be 23 on May 12th too!

  • JustMe

    I am going on 27 and feel the exact same way.

  • superunknown88

    I’m half way through my 27th year. This was supposed to be the year I finally got my act together. I’ve moved countries, started a new adventure job, got an apartment in the city and am in a relationship, but I still feel so empty. I lack the motivation to do anything other than sit around, eat and play computer games. I never thought I’d still be like this at this age I feel like I’m still 19 except I just pretend more. the older we get the more the stresses of life take a hold of you. Life is so fleeting. I wish I could go back to the time where I had everything to look forward to. I wish I had done all the things I’d say I would back when I had the chance. Now I’m too old, too poor, too exhausted & burnt out. I would easily trade all my experiences of my twenties thus far to be able to feel as alive as I did 5 years ago.

  • howtorelease

    thanx for your article. i’m going to be 25 years old and .. we both the same

  • janvi

    i feel lost with lack of options in life

  • Viv

    Options for what? Options for job? Options for life partner? Options for friends? Options for doing something? What exactly are you looking for? Life is full of options.

  • janvi

    thanks but your advice dont help

  • janvi

    i think first its how you feel , then what you do and then what you become,,,if you feel great then you do great and then you become great

  • janvi

    hi….i think first its how you feel , then what you do and then what you become,,,if you feel great then you do great and then you become great

  • janvi

    hi…i think first its how you feel , then what you do and then what you become,,,if you feel great then you do great and then you become great

  • janvi

    hi..i think first its how you feel , then what you do and then what you become,,,if you feel great then you do great and then you become great

  • janvi

    if one cannot get back the things one has lost then how should one proceed in life

  • Viv

    Welcome. God helps people who want to help themselves. Not giving advice. Take Care!

  • Viv

    Welcome. But ignoring every option is also not wise. Options make life difficult but at the end we have to choose. It can be wrong or right…

  • Jen

    Simple & genius. This speaks volumes for me janvi (i’m 37 and been feeling a bit lost recently as i’m in a period of changes)
    I’ve noted this to remind myself and going to be decorating soon – hoping this will make me start to feel better ..thank you 🙂

  • Toni

    I just turned 23 in March and feel completely lost and worthless.

  • RO

    i’m 22 and i’m with you guys on this! (turning 23 on Aug 6th)

  • ken

    lol…is it a coincidence that I am 23 myself..well about to turn 23 LOL…u guys are cute. we all in the same booooattt

  • Grendel007

    I feel much the same as everyone here does. I finally realized though that it isn’t us, it’s the world. It’s just the way it is. For some unknown reason or random chance we can see it. I have almost completely withdrawn from it all. None of it makes any sense. Im having a conversation with people I will never meet by tapping on a piece of glass. Really?

  • Adam

    My name is Adam, I’m 22 and I’m currently living with my parents. I graduated high school around 4 years ago and went straight to a community college where I live. I didn’t know what I wanted to major in and decided to major in Graphic design (Logo Design, Web design, Video production). Well, I finished that degree and got an associates in it but always knew that I wasn’t really talented when it came to designing. After graduation, I knew that I wanted to do something else with my life and decided to enroll in a university where I live. I’m currently majoring in BBA ( Bachelors of Business Administration) with a focus in Management of Information Systems. After doing research online a BBA degree is relatively pointless and it’s not something I’m really passionate about anyway. I guess you can say I’m just doing something to please other people. It is also important to note that I have a 4.0 gpa and it’s not difficult at all. That’s not the problem. The problem is that I have yet to find something I’m passionate about in life. I feel like I’m wasting my time in a major that isn’t what I want but I’m scared to let my parents and my woman down. I feel lost like everyone else in this post. Life is slapping me in the face right now and I have no direction or path.

    Sorry for the long post.. almost needed to vent and share my feelings. I hope others can relate to my story and give them some comfort that they aren’t alone.

  • Galaxydoll

    I just found this article it came to me as I am going through a very similar situation. I quit my successful career after 15 years and while during that time I was committed and my outcome of it all was general content – I still felt as though I was running on autopilot. I definitely feel lost but I recognized this time to truly get to know who I am, stripped of everything I have ever known. It’s not easy when you wake up. Seeing the truth in everything turned my what was then perception upside down. But to everyone who is going through this just remind yourself that everything you have done up until this point lead to this awakening. You deserve to take the time to know who you are. Feel the fear and then release it. Stay positive in your thoughts and this will open you up for more to come your way. In the mean time do what you have to do to function and get by in the matrix and keep your consciousness on what you want and where you could potentially see yourself then your higher self will lead you to where your path on this earth will be. Just know you are not alone in any of your experiences here. Wishing everyone ultimate successes defined only by YOU. Love you you all.

  • Esther

    Just turned 22..still discovering myself

  • Dineshkumar Chawre

    I am 22 & 2 months years old, my life’s the same as he described and I just dropped out engineering…,feeling lost and doing nothing as days are passing and whole world is curious about me and my future. I’m tired explaining things….& still explaining.

  • Kay

    Yeah I’m 22, about to turn 23. I’m in college as well, it feels like it is whats expected from society for an individual to “survive”. I do feel lost, like I’m walking around thinking. “wtf is the purpose!” (Not in a depressed way, just a lost and hoping to align with my purpose type of way). I constantly question if I’m heading in the right direction and I’m just wondering, is this normal!? I’ve been in such a state of questioning, I’m curious if this is just a part of being 22?

  • K.LEE †

    did u go?

  • Tei

    I am 35 yr old with a Husband. Trying to find my self for the second time in my life And afraid i will hurt people on the way to finding my self . Your story is inspirational and beautiful. It’s touch me, Thank You

  • kevin

    I am 54 lost not sure what the heck to do. Where am i? Whoam i? What should i be doing

  • linda

    I’m 57 and feel more lost than I ever have. I did not marry or have children, I feel like all I’ve done is work. What I’ve done most of the past 20 years doesn’t fit me anymore. It’s a very discouraging and disorienting feeling.


    This was what I needed at this time.

  • fubar_saunders

    Im lucky, it took me 51 to feel like this. 🙂 For those of you who are younger… you will find the answers. You’re already taking the steps you need to do. I wish you all well. The answers are all within in us but sharing these experiences and how we all defeated this torpor we find ourselves in always helps. It helps us all find our own light.

  • Shulk

    It feels to me like life hasn’t much meaning.i mean we all incarnate into this insane as fuck world & have to deal with the bullshit of our parents, asshole dickhead bullies & overbearing Government that never gave a fuck about us to begin with. To top it off I remember agreeing with God to come back down here & for some purpose, but for what. To have unconditional love for humanity, no thanks.

    At times a part of me in secret has contemplated suicide yet I just can’t do it. As an Aspie life feels like a mine field when you live in a world of NT (Neurotypicals).

  • K

    Thank you for sharing. I am losing myself completely. I have the biggest fear of success. I have always been judged by family and friends. Finding out i was adopted also changed my attitude towards life. I am struggling to get out of this dark place.. and i can no longer control my emotions. Where do i begin?. I have a degree, a great job and a place to call home.. yet i feel so empty and pathetic. I just dont know how to free myself.

  • Manuela Caamano

    Today, I went to my new job for the first time. I didn’t really feel anxious or nervous or even excited really. I didn’t feel anything. Which at first made me feel like I’m on the right direction since I’m known for always getting a bit anxious/excited. After work, I was headed to college, once again I didnt feel anything. I believed i was finally abjusting to change/new routine. But soon i found myself questioning my reason for being in college or what was the purpose and reason of me being here. I didn’t feel the responsibility of caring for my grades or taking it seriously….i felt lost. Of course I tried to find the positives but by that point i had a major headache in the middle of math class, I had to try to shut down all the noise in my head. And suddenly i felt scared for not feeling anything no passion for school, no drive. I really resonated with this article it mentions a lot of what I was thinking mixed with being lost. This has told me exactly what i needed to hear. I don’t know what my next course of action will be but I’ll figure it out. So glad i found this website.

  • Chan

    At times I wake up with an empty feeling of what I am doing with myself. Most people see me having a normal life in college working. I just get this feeling something is missing, I need something more but don’t know what. After my accident is when I began to contemplate life.

  • Mazdy Hamdy Abo Soraya

    Hi.. I’ve read all comments. I feel you all guys. What i notice is that all of you are lost and you are afraid of your future. My question? What did you do today, i mean now, this moment to be happy. I mean, most of you are very young. Dont afraid to try and fail. I mean, you will not die if you try to do something. My opinion is that people are all trapped in dogma what will be with me in the future. BE HAPPY NOW. Do that little things. Make someone’s day. Go ahead. Hug someone that he need it. Be good to people. Never is too late to change opinion, job, your direction. Do not act as other people expect, because most people are lost too. Main point is to be happy. To truly love and to be loved. So what if you drop out of college. You should not feel miserable for that. What do you want? And if you want something, is that truly that you want? I mean, how can you know, when you do not what are your options? You will never know that. Example, i wanted to be computer programmer? I went to collage. Now, when i am working with computers, i watch how people are making motorcycles and design them. God dem, i wanted to do that! I did not know that this is my option. I mean, you are pretty as you are.. you are perfect just as you are. Believe me. When you look at your self in mirror you are pretty, you are handsome. There are people who will love you for what you are. Do not change that so people will love you. DO NOT TRY TO FIND YOUR FUTURE SELF, that will make you desperate. Have first daily goals, to be happy. Do little things. Observe. I promise you will find your self. Live your self day by day. Respect for all of you.

  • Jane

    I’m 22, and I also feel completely lost. I spent most of my life just thinking that I would get a job after college. During the last year of college I realized I never asked myself what I wanted to do. I grew up thinking and being told I wanted to be a doctor, but once I got to college in an act of rebellion refused to take any science courses, leaving me more confused than ever. Now, that I have graduated I am so directionless. I’ve cried, I’ve felt useless, and try to avoid facing myself by sleeping or throwing myself into any job, but it helps to know others feel and have felt similar and that this can be a period of growth and discovery.

  • JB

    I’m 40 and have felt lost for many years – I’m kind, loyal, gentle and a great friend ‘ I love people with everything I have but I don’t feel complete on this earth

  • Chan

    Thank you for your comment it helped me realize that I’m too focused on the future that I’m letting the now slip away from me. I will take your advice and set daily goals for myself.

  • Lauren

    I’m a single women working the fifo life. It’s been great money wise and very fortunate to be ahead but I have missed the chances to met a decent man, have a family and cook dinner every night. You get stuck in this rut where you think this is reality when really it’s not, far from it in fact. You find yourself doing things you would never do and those thoughts surface every time you’re alone and up here that’s too many times.

  • Nicole

    I’m 43 and feel exactly the same however at least give yourself the comfort that you have more time than you might realize

  • sunshine88

    I am 28 and feel the exact same

  • Cheryl Ho

    Thank you for writing this. I’m 17 about to turn 18, first year dorming at a university, and I have been feeling lost and confused and unmotivated by the new academic schedule and the drunken hollering outside my window seemingly enjoyed by so many people- the curious acitivty devoted to losing themselves in alchohol. Your message reminds me of the time when I had been lost, and I had found my way out then- perhaps it’s okay being lost now then.

  • Brad

    Very inspiring thank you. I’m rather lost myself. I know I’m strong enough not to fall off the deep end but I fear I’m not progressing. I’ve made plans to do some travelling though so I’m hoping that will give me the insight I need to find the passion I so desire to put me in the right direction.

  • Joan Ney

    hi Figgy… Im having the same feeling as you! how r u now? its been a year. I was trying hard to find back myself.. Im not happy with my job, thus Ive resign and taking break and its been a year now.. im finishing my study (my degree) and ive got it after a hard struggle…Ive go for a holiday beaks but it seems that it never enough.. as you meantion, I think I would ‘solve all my problem, but Im not now. the more I felt to fit back since then. Ive tried to get some job application that might suitd my degree or qualifications, but dont knw why, its just too bad, i couldnt get the one I wanted. I feel tired as well as stress as as I got no money , no job, need to hiding from my family and friends (the fact that Im still working with my previous co and I need to pretend ‘working day’ everyday as I dont want them to worry ab it) I really feel so stressful day by day out there as I couldnt find any outcome or solutions. I hate myself and feel Im useless..I feel embarrassed even to call my friends as they all in very happy and sucessful life..(good career,good families etc)
    how come life is so hard??/

  • Vivian

    I needed this message so much. Thank you very much for sharing your story with us! <3

  • M

    I am 26, lost, embarrassed, and feel time slipping away from me every day. I feel way too old to try anything new but an intense, heart crushing desire to find something to making me feel passionate and purposeful again. I can’t help but feel like it is too late.

  • Soumya Adhikari

    i am 33 yrs feeling depressd about future.

  • Soumya Adhikari

    same here

  • Jed Hammond

    Hello, I’d like some help on this subject… So just about a year ago, I felt I was on top of the world. I had dedicated quite a bit of time into my own personal growth, not just mentally but spiritually and physically I began body building which then grew to martial arts and simply training as a human being. My drawing was coming back to me after a semster in art school. and new found abilities were coming to the surface. Becoming creative with my cooking, dancing, singing, playing guitar, writing poetry, and simply journaling as i’ve always done even songs, carving wood meditating simply out of intuition. I began feeling a true connection to myself and the universe around me. each day was a joy I felt free with no concerns or worries… Until my mom passed from cancer. I turned to my training to unleash my pain… and turning away from her… I then left for Austrailia to work as an in home nanny, which didn’t work out. I then made the move to Burbank Ca, where I then began taking acting classes and got a modeling contract… but something happened. I began doubting myself, by listening to the words of my Dad who almost made me feel ashamed for being who I was… I then slipped into a major depression… a rather violent one at that.. with the grieving of my Mom, a caffeine addiction my health started slipping, I then started to shrink myself out of self concious again feeling ashamed of being me feeling like I had to fit in…. when in the past i was alwasys one to be myself never concerned for others thoughts of me…. during this depression I made the move back to the town where my mom’s home was… which didn’t make the depression any better having unknowingly gone to a negative house hold a “friend’ of mines.. and now I’m doing my best to fight my way out of this depression… but I seem to be stuck, finding it hard to break free of my own fear and doubts… and finding myself again my fearless self who shares love and loves life…I’ve developed self sabotaging habits towards my fitness and training, my sleep has gone to shit… and I simply feel lost, and I’d like to get back on track to follow my dreams again and help others as I was before…what can I do? I alos question myself everyday, am I this am I that?

  • mandy henry

    I was lost and have created a mess in my world due to becoming depressed because of the way I have suppressed living life my way. Love yourself and love others for who they are. Don’t be angry at yourself for mistakes you have made because those are now in the past and now all you have is this moment. The things you are most afraid to do are most likely your calling but you are afraid to take the plunge. Take the plunge and love ever minute. Namaste.

  • Sheena Cunning

    This very closelyrics resembles what I’m currently experiencing in my life. I’m 33, single mom of 3. I have a great job that pays the bills, but I feel stuck and unfulfilled. I know I’m capable of so much greatness… I just can’t put my finger on it or figure any of it out. *sigh* it is comforting to know I’m not alone in my struggle.

  • limlim

    Oh my, thank you for your comment here. It really gives me such a positive encouragement while in the lost now.

  • Shulk

    I’m 30 years old and have always felt that there was more to life than going to school & piling up debt. I feel like once i found out the truth about who really runs this world (The bankers) I began to lose all sense of hope in my dream. Realizing that the very people at the top i’d be supporting and I just can’t find it in my heart to forgive those at the very top running the world, and exploiting us for their personal gain. It’s kind of also challenging when you feel alone in some ways as an Aspie like me feels that way regularly. I’ve wanted to design indie videogames, but feel like the motivation has been mostly gone. I have turned to facebook, and quite a number of my friends and family already are going places, and I feel stuck. I keep hearing about the “Great Awakening” so if this is the very thing i reincarnated for then I have purely wasted my time from the beginning. humanity is blind and set in it’s ways. Why should i care anymore.

    Life is merely a dream, and we created it. It was all a mistake to create independence from God. Such a dumb idiotic mistake we all made from the beginning.

  • Bow rain dim

    I’m old and retarded and I foresee a bleak, grisly sucidal ending to my life

  • J

    I’m 17 and lost. So many of my friends and family are accomplishing respectable things while I’m here just focusing in studies and not living life. My father works extremely hard to support his family. He’s my role model, but I want to do something that can make life better for all of us. I’m lost. I want to do something but I don’t know what.

  • magicmanfire

    1: blah blah blah blah, more to life bullshit.

    2: I’m a bit confused because it started off as some personal story about your life, then it turned into you complaining about bankers. Now you’re trying to make some poem.

    3: that is a cringe worthy comment .

  • M.L.H. Javert

    I’m 30, and fear I have already failed at life.
    What’s the point in trying anymore.

  • Hrithik Ghatak

    i m just fed up…. i was in a gud working mood last year….i m a businessman ..i m on my early days yet i earned a amt. of profit last year..but i m nt able to understand wat happened to me this year. m just ambitionless nd nt in a mood of working too

  • jane

    im 28 feel the same lost but un sure of a world alone one day how to deal with loss with love one how to take a step forward when you justt feel like your are falling or fail in life all simply tasks like driving, paying bill, or even crossing the road ? how did I get like this?

  • Alïas Dømïnø

    Great article man thanks for sharing

  • Alïas Dømïnø

    hh i am also 23 x)

  • Vour Essence

    This is beautiful and engaging, thanks for sharing your experience with us. You are an inspiring soul 🙂

  • Jen

    This is Jen mother of two beautiful lil girls… My husband has turned away from me… It’s almost 9 yrs in and he wants to call it quits… I work my ass off and idk what to do…. I do it all.. I’m overwhelmed.. I know my kids love me… They’re amazing kids.., I feel like my entire life is falling apart… Not even duct tape can fix it … Lol I wasn’t raised to be a quitter. I asked him for 3 things 1 was to live only me forever 2 a house of our own to raise our family and a garden.. 3 another baby…. And it’s been 9 yrs and nothing… I know it sounds pathetic… It’s embarrassing… I’m not huge I’m a true southern girl…and idk what to do..

  • Leo Di

    Hi you all can call me Leo i am 27 but for a long time i’d say since i was 23 i have felt a sense of loneliness a void which i can never fill i tried hanging out with friends and going on dates and getting job after job but i always feel myself acting how people want me to act and not ever being able to truly express myself like it feels as if i am missing a great part of me that has taking out the joy and excitement which i once had and i have tried to find a means discovering ti but i feel each time i fail and i think i know which in fact i am still unsure it this void that comes with me everywhere i go no matter who i am with i just feel i act for people most times to show them what they want to see and i feel if i were ever to show them the layer beneath what they see they would never understand i don’t know why it is so hard for me to find my purpose in this world i am good at many things but i feel i either never had interest in them or are force into them or i just convince myself this could be it only to be disappointed in then end and then it’s like my world just ends i shatter again like glass and i wonder if i will ever truly find myself or my purpose and if it will come before i die i don’t fear death at all just fear how i will leave this world to mean i feel the best success is what you leave behind not what you have or how much money or glory or anything in that manner but what you can leave behind to help other in there journey to find the truth on how they can find themselves as you did i know this probably sounds really weird but saying all this has kinda made me feel a bit better to get it out instead of keeping it in and just maybe what i say here can help someone to want to express them self in the sense of feeling better to get it out cause even though this loneliness and uncertainty of not knowing who or what your true purpose is just getting it out and saying this could help you a little bit to help you to feel better cause it’s hard to me to be open with anyone but i hope this helps but this is how i feel

  • Mansi Sharma

    I am 24 im not happy with what im doing, (my studies) . Still a student my family loves me people like me but i dont love anyone i dont see why they love me when im having so much hatred for this world i dont know what to do. A feeling just want to come out that this world us not tgat bad but i feel nothing i feel that this feeling is dying gradually im afraid I’ll end up loosing myself somewhere. I dont regret anything i just feel i am nothing. I want to chnge myself i dont see how.. Ihave chnged and i feel now that i have lost something im lost bcz i cant find that part of me…i dont know what to say more about my condition I don’t know if i can explain it.

  • Luis von Xylander

    I’m feeling lost for I don’t know how many years now. I think its more than 10 but it wasn’t always constant. Sometimes I would pick up on some dreams and try follow them as best I could but it always ended up in me failing.

    I remember that when I was very young, I had inserted in my head to become someone like Einstein and so always like to understand mechanisms and develop an understanding for things. I’m 25years old and have practically no devolved skills(except for some understandings). I’m not good with calculations and I can’t write well for many reasons do to me being dyslexic at young age, having changed school and country many times therefor also language(I don’t have a mother tung) i have been bullied allot and mocked heavily as a kid which I think is what really made me self contuse and afraid of people. I remember one time a kid destroyed my art work in art class and his excuse to the teacher was;”its popular to bully “me””. I suck at sports(always last kid finishing laps in swimming). I have no social circle, no friends. I’m always alone 24/7 for like 15 years now. I have no talking skills(I can understand humor but not create it) im not able to express my thoughts ever which is my main frustration.
    All my love attempts have failed. The 1st failed love attempt(age19 its actually like my 8th failed love attempt but this was my first actual achieved relationship) is what had really broken my ideals and understanding of women(I realize that what I wanted in a relationship is pretty impossible to achieve in this era).

    At age 23 I fell in a psychosis because of stress another failed love attempt. I was thinking stuff like I was jesus and I had to bring harmony to this world during my psychosis(I had a lot of energy and motivation in that state btw. I had HUGE blisters all over my feet for all the walking and running I did) I was thrown in the hospital and given pills to numb down my thinking… In other word they shutdown my motivation again…

    Since I haven’t developed any real skills to put to practical use. I started studying again but I can’t keep my head focused on what im studying. Its like my mind always wants to rebel to this kind of academic learning. I never actualy tried to kill myself but I understood that in this society, taking away once own life is considered selfish, week, disgraceful. So im stuck with 0 motivation in this world with the only possible option I find, put off limits(suicide). I’m in a limbo of nothingness.

    Here is a TED talk on dyslexia for whoever is interested:

    I have strongly felt all 7 capital sins(maybe not greed that much) and come to understand now why they are considered sins. But right now I feel non of these sins. No greed, No pride, no lust, no wrath(anger), no gluttony, no real envy(jealousy), I guess now mostly I feel sloth(much), a bit of envy but very little and also very little wrath.

    I think this system we live in has dulld down our existence. I’m a sucker for adventure and discovery. I see no adventure or point to this life. No real goal. Why are we in such a rush in this society? Why have we become so competitive within our own? Can someone pls tell me what we are running after???

    We run just cos its fun maybe?? I find social collaboration funner instead of crushing one another for a spot of work.
    It’s not really true that money makes the world go around. Money is used to get desires. So its more correct to say that desire makes the world go around.

    I can image a system with no money. Which is just desire driven and society can still function with no caos. We are entering an automated era. Its means jobs like counter/receptionist, pilots, truck drivers and any kind of labor job or repeating task jobs will stop to exist. Its invetible that machines will takeover most “skill based” jobs. The only jobs that would make sense to still exist in the next era is research type jobs. Which btw is one of the lowest paying type of jobs right now.
    Why do people put hate on immigrants taking away jobs? Immigrants are just the backup for now until machines can take over all. Don’t hate immigrants, don’t hate machines just change the way the system works. All we need is research type jobs and don’t make it a “JOB”(obligation and competition for spot) let the research be done by whom actually has a passion for research.
    Who actually wants to do it. Alessandro Volta was a duke. He had no obligation to go discover and understand electrical potential(volt). I believe he did it for his own personal curiosity and being a duke let him have all the freedom(wealth) he needed to follow his passion, un like lower classes that had to spend time doing labor stuff that took away their free time.
    Most likely in our next era theas kind of jobs will be replaced by machines+AI(AKA Robots) so once all the jobs have been taken by the robots there will be a lack of jobs for everyone which will give us 2 options. Option 1: reduce the civilaisatino number, or option 2: change the system get rid of the concept of money and forbid corruption and greed.

    Contend will still be created in an opensorce world. Its possible to notice this fact on communities found on the internet. So many people do so many things just out of passion and share it with others without any economical gain. The pride of shearing what is done by you, should be a gain for itself. I’m pro sharing. I kinda get it in the ass all the time for being an altruistic person… So if we are driven by desire. Why can’t we make a system that’s more enjoyable and fun? I guess that’s why I got myself stuck in the video game world all the time. Its s Funner way of learning and more adventures to experience and discover. I wish I could write better and explain myself more. I think that if I developed this skill better I could fulfill my need of expression. I also lake so much imagination. I’m not sure what took it away from me. I remember as a kid I did so many more creative things and was so much more active. Some events in my life must have shut down my mind somehow. I’m trying to open it up again but undoing my experience is nt such an easy task.

    Sorry that I ranted allot.

  • Luis von Xylander

    The biggest joy comes from being helpful to others. In this society where no one ever has time to give a hand to someone and everyone is focused on their personal happiness therefore competition and crushing someone ells. This is what is braking the harmony in our society. Humans have evolved into social creatures from the past shearing their forces and abilities to get things done together and share the achievement together. Right now we are devolving our natural instincts of bonding since even psychologists tell you to care only for yourself. We are living in an era where it’s an illusion that we are working together. We are all alone. We are not sharing goals anymore, we just hope on the same conventional train forming a temporary team and every individual has its own goal already set(mostly get personally rich to then be free to fallow your individual dream. But instead will most likely spend for health care)
    The problem is that We fused so many types of mind sets with globalization that it created conflict because its so hard to find someone that shares our personal view(i personally have a hard time agreeing with people I meet). I think that’s was one of the reason why religions where created. To help us unify our thoughts and believes to be able to live more in harmony(not counting the corruption, unreasonable restrictions and greed in the Church that came after)
    I think society needs a change of mindset. Get ride of the rush for everything(why are we running always?) get ride of personal greed and all this money hungry people.
    Why did the hippie movement die out? Oh right. Cos they only focused on making music and doing drugs and so most apeerd to be slacker’s. I think the music was a good tool to unifying a group but then after that they should have had made proper goals instead of just complain about everything. I actually don’t know much about hippies but that’s pretty much what I think of them.

  • Estefani Sanchez

    Before I entered high school I knew I wanted to become a psychologist because I had so many questions, I even took a psychology class and just love it. But I recently graduated and since then I started reading again , I read many amazing books about Buddhism and other things and all my questions were suddenly answered. Now I have no idea of what I should do , all my life I had carried those questions, but now that I know the answers I have no idea of what to do. My life goal was to find the answers to those questions …. now I have no goal to pursue !! I am lost

  • Kay

    I’m so glad I found this page. Reading all these comments makes me realize that I am not alone. Thank you for that. I can totally relate to people who work jobs they don’t like, feeling empty and embarrassed especially when you feel you have nothing going for you. I think when your stuck. Living life can feel dead on the inside. And I dont think it matters what age you are or how much money you have because those things will wear away. But I will say it’s what you DECIDE to do with your time. This very moment. Right here. Right now. As your reading this…is all that really counts. We think so much about how bad things are for us. We over analyzing our lives for days, months, weeks at a time and then realize we never really got anywhere. We USED up all our time feeling lost in this purgatory state. Our expectations about life lets you down because it doesn’t turn out the way you think it should. life is meant to teach you things in ways you’ve never even dreamed of. If your feeling lost it’s a blessing and an opportunity. I cant say it any other way than to take it one step at a time.

  • Jordan Beadle

    Well, I am certainly lost. I don’t know what I want. I am almost not even sure what I don’t want. I don’t want to be bad, not at all, but… I have no desire to be good. I don’t know how to anymore. I was at the top of everything it seemed in April. I could be friends with everyone. I enjoy making people happy. Then the school year ended and… Everything seemed to change. I don’t know what to think anymore. I question things; our existence, how things came to be. I felt great and graceful and majestic, now I… I don’t. I’m isolated. Well, I guess something will pop up. A tiny seed will grow. I guess I think of it this way: You start to push a car down a hill, and you really have to push at first. But once you make happiness for yourself, the car gains speed and just gets faster and faster all the way down the hill. I know this will happen to us if we allow it, but this feeling of depression is awful. I feel so meaningless.

  • MafiaQueenc Tewaaka

    its odd reading this but makes me feel sad because when i wake up in the morning i wander will i ever change i turn aside and my boyfriends still sleeping i say to myself give me some inspiration in life ive failed on completing my dream but i hate the way im living i have sleeping and waking up at night like i hate going out now but i miss the old me who was so outgoing and can talk to people but now i would rather hurry home if i felt like i dont want to be around others i just want to go home and rest my body just be useless cause i feel useless i tell myself to do things but it never works out the way i wanted it too not anymore,no one understands much of what i say when i argue at about the situation they think nothings wrong with me .but i dont know

  • Jamie

    I’m 27 and I crave a purpose more than anything. I have hobbies and interests but I can’t seem to find that one thing that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning. It makes me seem lazy but I know there’s work ethic inside of me. I lost 40lbs and also gained muscle mass through diet and exercise alone.

    I really want to go 100% at something, I just don’t know what. I have an addictive personality but I need to put it to good use.

  • Dan

    I’m experiencing the same thing now. I used to be eminent at everything I do, job,family,friends. I lost everything after meeting the ‘love of my life’. I gave everything and left nothing for myself. I lost my friends, i got fired because of that special someone. I’m trying to reconnect to my family but things are different now. I’m not motivated anymore. I only goes to work for money, i was passionate programmer before. Everything is ruined. I literally have no friend anymore who contacts me on facebook. I hope someday when I visit this page again, i hope that im okay. I miss you and I still love you and I need you. ~dantin925

  • Mandeep Kumar

    I have a good job , lovely family , but still feel restless all the time , not sure what to do , feel worried all the time about future .

  • Anonymous

    I turned 40 this year, and have been lost for over 15 if those years. Never been in love, never had kids; life is a confusing puzzle without solution. Pleasure and achievement are entirely subjective, as are humiliation and pity. It’s all meaningless…just a big mess.

  • Shulk

    I have been feeling lost for as long as i can remember. When i was a kid i dealt with people being assholes to me. I had dealt with the trauma of being ripped away from my father and sent into a foster home as a toddler for one weekend. It didn’t help that i had also dealt with emotional abuse from people. As a person who didn’t know he had Aspergers until his late teens. I never really had anyone to teach me things, and i didn’t know that for the longest time i had pushed away my stepdad. I didn’t even know what pushing people away truly was, as a kid i enjoyed playing videogames, and watch tv. I grew to hate people, because a great number of them i met were complete and utter assholes. I even got ridiculed for crying when in pain as a kid. My life hasn’t been any easy one, and every time someone says they could’ve handled my life much better. I just wanna beat their face in repeatedly just to have them shut the hell up, and never act like they are superior to me.

    I was told i had to be a part of society, and just didn’t give a damn. I was burning with hatred towards humanity. In my younger years, i would’ve given anything to have had a better life growing up, alas too late.

  • Aleksandra Markovic

    My case is slightly different. I just finished my studies and earned my bachelor degree at law but now I am feeling lost and unmotivated. I keep wondering if I should even search for carrier in law or move to something else. I somehow decided to go volunteering at prosecutors in order to apply for a test which is necessary to work someday. Although I still have many doubts I try to think step by step and to be focused on present since we don’t really know what will happen in the future.
    To be honest I would rather chill for a while but reality is something that can not be escaped from I guess.
    These four years have been the same – pass exams earn points in order to move onto the next year but now that I am finished everything has changed.
    I am not too thrilled about volunteering but it will give me experience that I need.

  • Alantor29

    …You have some serious issues, man. Serious issues…

  • Gabe

    Kinda sounds like it doesn’t get better… great.

  • Rishav Pandey

    Same just turned 23 and feeling lost

  • Rishav Pandey

    Yes we are

  • Nishi Hundan

    “aspiring renaissance man”? So, you’re basically a bum.

  • Amit Nainawat

    I am 22 yr old and lost.
    I am better than average students but i am confused about future, actually i have no idea what to do. I am feeling sad and lost.