“Don’t let your fear paralyze you. The scariest paths often lead to the most exciting places.” ~Lori Deschene
I first learned about the concept of focus creating reality in 2004 when I was given William Whitecloud’s book The Magician’s Way.
The first chapter is about the main character having a magic golf lesson. He learns that when people play golf, most of them think about how to hold the golf club, how to stand, and how to move the club. He calls this the “swing circle” and recounts how golfers often get caught there, rather than just focusing on where they want the ball to go. By shifting their focus, they could shift their results.
What’s wonderful is that the process is entirely replicable for us all in any situation.
At the time, I was two years into being an investment property consultant and part of a team of fifteen consultants throughout Australia. I was driving all over the place seeing clients in their homes—mostly evenings—earning just enough to get by, but I certainly wasn’t thriving.
In fact, I was considered one of the poorest performers. I was working long hours and working hard, and while I believed in what we were doing, I wasn’t really enjoying it that much. So, having read The Magician’s Way, I started to use the ideas to improve my work life.
I visualized having better meetings with my clients; I imagined my clients going ahead with property solutions I proposed; and my results started to improve.
But I thought, there has to be more to this. I felt a very strong pull to study these ideas further. So, I decided to attend a course facilitated by The Magicians Way graduates where they taught clients to realize their dreams by connecting with their authentic selves and innate creative spirit.
One of the things I learned was that we are all intuitive beings. When we tune into our intuitive selves, we become powerful and expansive.
I discovered that when we give ourselves space to tap into our intuition about what we want, it comes through us from our higher selves. By shifting our focus to what would improve our lives and by using our intuition, we are infinitely more powerful and can create a life we love.
For the first time, I was truly creating space to see what I wanted in my life from my unlimited self. I realized that I could choose the direction of my future. That I was the creator of my life.
With this knowledge in hand, for the first time ever, I looked critically at all the different areas of my life to see where I was limiting myself and where I could change the story I had running through my head. I categorized my life into the following areas:
- Career & Business
- Health & Well-being
- Travel & Adventures
- Social life
- Giving Back
To create change, we first need to be aware of our starting point. In order to move forward we must be honest with ourselves about where we are and face into our current situation.
When I assessed my life I found that, other than my social life, none of the areas were in the shape I wanted them to be.
Usually, we don’t create change without a reason. Change typically takes place when dissatisfaction arises or when we become aware of wanting a solution to our current problem. Being really clear about what we want to change and understanding where we are in relation to that is crucial.
So how do we do that? How can we be objective about our current circumstances?
Most people don’t regularly evaluate all areas of their life and give themselves a reality check. It can be hard to own up to the mediocrity or negativity. But this kind of ‘life audit’ is vital to understanding your current situation so you can then assess how far you are from what it is you desire.
By creating space to see where each area of your life is, you are creating a starting point for change, for expansion and growth. You are allowing yourself to see what’s working, what isn’t working, and what could be improved.
This may be confronting to begin with, but the more you allow yourself to go through this process, the more you will create reason and momentum to move forward in creating the life you love.
A really powerful way to work through this process is to section off the different areas of your life and give yourself a rating out of ten for each—ten being amazing, you couldn’t get any better, and zero meaning that it is nonexistent or lacking.
Here is an opportunity to go deeper with each area of your life and give those areas an honest rating so you will have a starting point for change.
Let’s use an example. You might have given your romantic relationship a low rating. Start with what you feel is lacking from your relationship and partner.
Some examples could be:
- We fight too much
- The passion is gone
- We don’t spend enough time together
- They don’t respect me
- I feel like I am being controlled
- We don’t have fun together
Then flip it around. What are you, or aren’t you, contributing to the relationship?
- I lose my patience with them
- I don’t give them respect
- I get angry with them
- I feel like I want to control them
- I don’t instigate quality time together
The more you can analyze how and if you value your relationship, the more you can take responsibility. So, the more you own up to where you are, the more you are able to create change. Focus on yourself first: How am I behaving? How am I responding? Then ask yourself: What can I do differently to help create the kind of relationship I want?
And since there are two people in your relationship, you’ll also need to ask yourself: What would I like my partner to do differently? How can I communicate that without attacking?
How do you rate your finances? Most of us have blocks around money and money flow, usually because of the beliefs our parents have instilled in us. Unless we are clear on where our finances currently are, how can we change it?
Ask yourself why you rated your finances as you did:
- Do I have enough money?
- Do I just make ends meet?
- I am in debt?
- Do I fight about money with my partner?
Knowing your numbers is crucial. Most people don’t have any idea what their financial position is. Remember, it’s impossible to move forward without knowing where you are right now. I review my full financial position three times a year—at the beginning of the calendar year, the end of financial year, and when I do my taxes.
After you get clear on your numbers, ask yourself the following questions to ascertain how you can improve your financial situation:
- Am I living beyond my means?
- Am I trying to fill an emotional void through buying things?
- What can I scale back on in order to save more money?
- How can I increase my earning potential, if not immediately, in the future?
Health & Well-Being
List out the reasons you rated your health and well-being as you did.
Maybe you are telling yourself:
- I’m unfit
- I feel overweight
- I am not exercising enough
- I eat junk food
- I drink too much
You might bring awareness to what you’re consuming each day. Are you conscious of what’s going into your body or are you unconsciously consuming food and drink? Now it’s time to consider your movement. Do you take regular walks? Are you going to the gym or participating in sports?
Career or Business
How do you rate this area of your life?
Consider these questions:
- Do you love what you do? If so, why? If not, why not?
- If you do love what you do, what areas are there for improvement?
- Are you clear on why you do what you do?
- What is the why?
- Do you feel energized by what you do, or does it deplete you of energy?
- Does your work align with your values?
- Do you enjoy working with your colleagues?
- Are you happy with your marketing and reach?
- How is your time management?
Most of our waking hours are at work, regardless of whether we work for someone else or ourselves. So, if you are not enjoying what you do, that means you are spending most of your waking hours doing what you don’t want to do.
Of course, it isn’t easy to change careers, but the first step is acknowledging your dissatisfaction and getting clear on what might be more fulfilling, and why.
Knowledge & Learning
Are you expanding? Are you learning new things and trying out new experiences?
- Am I closed off to new ideas?
- Do I have an open mind, or am I relying on what I already know?
- Do I proactively seek new knowledge for my career or business, or do I only seek new knowledge for fun?
- When was the last time I actively sought out a situation where I could learn something new and expand my horizons?
Travel & Adventures
- Am I giving myself space to travel, to see new things, and to have adventures?
- Do I even know what’s out there?
- When did I last go somewhere on a whim?
- If I can’t afford to travel, how could I be more adventurous in my daily live?
- How can I be a “tourist” in my own area—what could I see, do, and explore?
- Do I love where I live?
- Is my house a home?
- Do I feel comfortable, safe, and happy in my home?
- Is my home a sanctuary?
- Do I love the city, the suburb, or even the country I live in?
- Do I enjoy inviting people to my home, or am I embarrassed by it?
- Do my friends and family feel comfortable in my home?
If you don’t love where you live, you may be able to change that easily, or you may need to work toward the long-term goal of moving somewhere new. But it might just be a matter of making changes in your environment—decluttering, infusing your home with your personality, or keeping work out of certain areas to make your home more relaxing.
How do you rate this part of your life? Did you even give it a rating? It’s an area that is often neglected. I know when I started my personal growth journey, I considered my spirituality non-existent.
Spirituality doesn’t necessarily mean organized religion—it’s whatever it means for you. Simply take time to consider how your spirituality is being nurtured—or not—and what it could mean for you if you positively changed this aspect of your life. Ask yourself:
- Am I part of a spiritual community, and if not, would I like to be?
- Do I allow myself time to connect with nature?
- Do I make time for spiritual practices that renew my spirit?
- What does spiritual self-care mean to me?
Giving back isn’t just giving gifts or donating money or time, it’s also about how much you give yourself; how much you give in service to others, your community, or the environment. It’s also about how well you think of others, your community, or the environment as well as our actions.
- Do I give as much to myself as I give to others?
- Is there a balance of giving and receiving in my life?
- How am I serving my loved ones, my community, and the planet?
- How do I want to give back, and why?
Now that you’ve reviewed your current reality you might feel a little uncomfortable. This is a good thing and should be embraced. As I said, facing into where you are is so important, as it represents the starting point from which you can grow. It’s this truth that will set you free. Well done for going there.
You may also feel a little overwhelmed if you’ve recognized you’re dissatisfied with multiple areas of your life. That’s okay. You don’t need to change everything all at once, or even any time soon. You can start with the one area that feels most pressing and identify one tiny step to create positive change. Then from there, you can take another step. And another until you feel more satisfied in that area of your life and ready to focus on another.
When I first did this exercise, I realized I didn’t want to continue the way I was living and I wanted things to look different. I knew then that I had a choice. We are at choice all the time.
By owning up to where you are, you’re already moving forward into your vision. You can now begin to really shift your focus on what you want to change—and then start taking action.