When You Still Don’t Know What You Want to Do with Your Life

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

Sitting at my kitchen table, I can’t help but ask myself over and over again how I got to be here. Just yesterday it seems I was sitting with my family for dinner, discussing my college plans and a future that seemed so far away from the comfortable and naïve life I always knew.

Now, I am graduating from college and embarking on the unknown journey that is “the real world” with what seems like no preparation whatsoever. Well, I wouldn’t say that. If they had beer pong tournaments or sorority trash talking in this “real world,” I would be more than prepared.

The funny thing about life is that it’s set up to always be preparing us for something.

Elementary school gets us ready for junior high school, which prepares us for high school, which prepares us for college, which prepares us for this “real world.” We are set on this path right from the start and told to follow the path to get us to where we need to be.

But what society doesn’t seem to understand is that humans aren’t designed to stick to one path. Humans are free flowing, always changing, and always moving. One moment we can be so joyful we want to start a flash mob in the middle of the train station, and the next we can be disheartened and hopeless.

Our feelings are ever changing and ever flowing, as are our thoughts, beliefs, interests, and our relationships with others.

Maybe this is why when we are told to pick a major, a job, or a career, we are ultimately faced with the hardest challenge of our life. We spent our whole lives preparing for this moment, after all. The decided fate of what we will spend our whole lives doing.

When I was faced with the big decision of picking my major and future career four years ago, I was at a standstill. I had so many interests, how was it possible to pick just one? Being the over analyzer I naturally am, I contemplated for a long time, measuring the pros and cons of each profession. I planned and thought, and planned some more.

But it was when I was on a road trip with my family to Colorado, when I had finally stopped planning and thinking, that everything made sense to me.

I was sitting in the car next to my little brother, who has autism. He is nonverbal but probably smarter than any average thirteen old; people just don’t see him how I do.

Pondering about life, as I had nothing else to do in a twenty-five-hour car ride, everything suddenly made sense.

Speech therapy, where I can help people like my brother whose intelligence is underestimated due to his autism, suddenly became my purpose. I can’t explain the feeling other than it seemed like my brother was set on this planet to be my brother and to help me find this purpose in life.

It turned out all that time contemplating my future had gone to waste, because I didn’t need to contemplate at all. I just knew, and the beauty of it all was that it came to me when I was doing absolutely nothing.

So this is where the great plan idea doesn’t quite have it right.

We spend our whole life in preparation. We don’t realize that while we’re planning, we’re missing out on the important things in life. While we’re planning, we’re missing out on the opportunities to relax and let the plan come to us.

We were missing out on valuable time spent living our lives worry-free and stress-free. Nobody needs a plan or a set path to get to where they need to be, because where you need to be is where you already are.

Being someone who is in the process of growing up, I can confidently say that I believe humans never really “grow up.” But I do believe that humans are constantly growing and changing to be the best selves they can be. People have multiple purposes in life, not just one.

So take those risks. Venture onto different paths; explore the paths that may seem far-fetched or unrealistic. Travel the world, start a business, do the things that are pulling you toward them.

I strongly believe everything happens for a reason, and if you have an instinct to do something, there is a reason for that feeling.

When you become confused about life, can’t make a decision, or are anxious about having a plan, take a deep breath and remember that life is a journey, not a destination. There is no plan required in life. The only thing required is to keep an open mind and go with the flow.

You never know what might hit you when you are relaxed and doing nothing, and what instinct will draw you to your next adventure.

It’s important to have faith in yourself and know that our internal selves are more powerful than we think.

If we can trust ourselves, knowing that we don’t need anything external to give us answers, everything will come together. Remember, you know yourself better than anyone else, even if you don’t think you do.

About Shayna Heichman

Shayna Heichman is a senior at the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana. She grew up in Deerfield, IL and is a dancer, aspiring yogi, and travel enthusiast. She enjoys writing, though she’s a bit of an amateur. She’s going on to receive her Master’s Degree in Speech Language Pathology.

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  • Flo

    This is a valuable lesson for anyone starting out in life.
    I wish someone had told me this before I chose the career my parents wanted me to have and before I got married/had kids which mean my options are so much more limited these days as we cannot afford for me not to work.

  • Wow. Amazing Article!
    Finding your life’s purpose is not easy, but it makes the life worth living.

  • For me it is very easy: do what your passion is and you will find a way to build your life with it =)

  • Wow Shayna, this is a great post! Kudos to you for the perspective you have on life. Not everyone at your age has this wisdom or sees through this lens. I most definitely did not. I was deep within the system our society has laid out for us. Best of luck to you and thanks for sharing your story. #UnlessYouCare

  • I’ve spent/wasted a lot of time trying to figure out “what to do with my life”. In the end though, I think I’ve come to this realization…what I need to do with my life is to show up at every moment and be the best I can be. The rest is just window dressing…

  • Shayna, what an amazing article! It reminds me of this inspirational idea: the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why… And I believe that it is up to us to “let the world know why you are here, and do it with passion… “ ;-]

  • Celeste


    Very nice piece. I especially enjoyed the following paragraph:

    But what society doesn’t seem to understand is that humans aren’t designed to stick to one path. Humans are free flowing, always changing, and always moving. One moment, we can be so joyful we want to start a flash mob in the middle of the train station, and the next we can be disheartened and hopeless.

    Best wishes on your current chosen path and all the meanderings that follow.

  • krutika

    nicely written Shayna! really life is a journey but sometimes there are destination . 🙂

  • Shayna, thanks for an amazing post. I really loved it! So often we go through life trying to reach our goals (and I do believe in having goals) and get to a destination that we miss out on the journey. Since the journey is where we spend most of our life, we are missing out on most of our life, if we only focus on the destination (goal). That is why we need to learn to live life in the margins, and experience and enjoy the journey. Thanks for sharing!

  • DE

    Wow!! well written Shayna “There is no plan required in life. The only thing required is to keep an open mind and go with the flow” We plan all the time and by doing that, we miss to enjoyment of life a lot. I used to plan what I would have for dinner and a last few months, I am not planning at all and keeping an open mind to have healthy food and going with the flow and notice that I am having healthy dinner all the time.

  • Shawn Lowe

    Well said.

  • Hookchick

    43 and still haven’t found anything I’m truly passionate about. I thought it was being a wife & mom, but my husband dumped me and my kid is grown. I’m not-so-patiently awaiting some clue as to what’s next.

  • Mariana

    It’s important to trust in yourself, be present in every moment of your life, do what you like and be grateful with what you have done

  • Caio

    Great article. I liked the points you touched. Personally, I have been trying to be more present in the now and not worry so much about what is coming next. Over all, I think I have gotten better at it, but I can’t deny that there are days when anxiety takes over and then it becomes hard to see things as clear, having the faith necessary to be productive and getting closer to your goals.

    Just gotta stay strong and plow through those days, I guess. What the heck am i doing anyway…

  • Thanks Shawn…much appreciated!

  • Kush Sharma

    I think the fallacy in this issue is that most people long for the moment when they will suddenly realize what is their dream job. The truth is that our ever changing nature makes it impossible for such a thing like a dream job to exist. But you can go for something better- a dream life! a lifestyle that you value and would make your life happy. Then you can fit in the work you would like but your happiness would not depend on just the work.

  • Raven

    Great article and so true, life is what happens when we’re making other plans. If we just show up and do stuff and stay present then we’ll find where we should be.

    I think, when it comes to education, that we have lost our way a bit. I know there needs to be a certain amount of preparation – the reading, writing and arithmetic stuff – but after that I feel it should be about experience and experimentation. If we stop making our children choose, and making those choices get more and more constrictive until they graduate then we give the chance to discover who they are and what they love as they grow. The days of “a job for life” are all but gone, so why are we still limiting our children’s choices?

    Why only show them a single path when they have the whole world at their feet?

  • Just enjoy the moment you say?

  • Dave

    What a well-writen and amazing piece! As a fellow collegian also approaching graduation, it gave me real insight and perspective and I feel much better placed to take on the future! You have given me the confidence that in every step i take and every move I make is the right one. As my grandfather has always instilled in me; “You can only find your inner peace by helping others find theirs”. Keep on inspiring and never stop being the person who you are.

  • SGH615

    I love that quote- thanks a lot!-Shayna

  • I think it is ridiculous how much pressure is put on adolescents to plan their life out. School is always teaching us to plan for the future and be prepared. If instead it taught us how to enjoy the moment I think it would be easier for people to decide what they want to do with their lives. It would be kind of a taoist principle applied to western society; when you do not force things, they come naturally.

  • Trey Copeland

    Well put.

    I recall now sitting in my college library as an economics student, passing time with this same “trying to figure it all out” internal dialog instead of studying for the accounting exam that was then only hours away. Perusing the stacks, I came across a copy of Aviation Weekly which had a picture of the F-22 on its cover. The image reminded of my childhood fascination for space and flight and with that image, my “future” became more certain. I switched paths from economics to aerospace engineering and was almost immediately given a full scholarship for engineering.

    That was almost a decade ago now and what sits beside that memory is another memory of my past five years working for the only non-defense rocket company out there, doing something that would certainly have fascinated my five year old self. Yet now I’m presented with that “what’s next” yet again. Now I’m looking for that next magazine cover or whatever guide post to help direct me forward. All too easily caught up in a tizzy and distracted from a great truth.

    Ed Herzog says it best: just be present in this moment. Now is the only time that has ever existed and too it is the only time that will ever exist.

  • Octarin

    If you only had to face that choice four years ago, you haven’t yet faced the real hard wall. Wait for it, and pray with all your might it won’t hit you hard, and the choice you made was a good one. You’re still young. The gravity of what you’re tackling won’t hit you till you’re past your mid 30s, believe you me. An advice from an old loser who contemplated far too long what her “destiny” is: screw it all, work on something one day at a time, think of it as temporary and move on the next day. Now that there’s still time, that you can still ride that wind and not fall back in the “redundant” heap. Good luck.

  • latebloomer

    Just what I needed to hear today.

  • “If we can trust ourselves, knowing that we don’t need anything external to give us answers, everything will come together.”
    Loved the way you said that, Shayna.

  • Leke

    It takes articles like this, to tell us that our feelings to not conform to society’s expectations are normal. My programming is so strong, I felt wrong to feel like the way I do. Thank you for the teaching.

  • “People have multiple purposes in life, not just one.” I couldn’t agree with you more! Thanks for this post. Now, I know I’m not alone in this! =)

  • Steph

    Shayna, thank you so much for your words. I can’t tell you how much this has helped me. I’m currently a second year university student, and I’ve been struggling with a lot of things lately. My whole life I’ve been such an academically driven person – not for myself, but because I felt like succeeding academically was the way I would get approval from my family and friends. I have a chronic pain condition, and I felt like as long as I did well and better than most, despite my health, everything would be good – I would be happy, safe and secure – loved. During uni I’ve realised that this path I let myself walk has stripped me of so much. I let academics take over my whole life, and fear has caused so much stress for me that I’ve literally found myself sitting on the bathroom floor in the dark, shaking and my teeth chattering, sobbing, because I feel like if I don’t get work that I HATE done, then I’ll fail this or that exam and if I fail then my degree will not be ‘good enough,’ it will be average or below, people around me will think I’m dumb and I’ll never get a good job, the power will be taken away from me, and I’ll be unhappy, I’ll have a bad life and regret my actions.
    It has taken me so long to realise the truth of the situation – that I have a bad life right now, I’m unhappy right now, and I let all the power be taken from me the second I placed my self-worth in something other than my self.
    When you talk about how we’re set up to feel that x leads to y to lead to z it’s like you reached in and took the words from my mind. I know I haven’t figured everything out yet and that fear is still holding me back in so many ways, that my mind is still programmed to see the path as safe. But it brings me peace to see that you have found your way by letting go, and it brings me hope that I can do the same. Instead of this mentality where we constantly sacrifice now, for the hope and dream of a better future is so wrong. I don’t think you can work for a concept of happiness, I think you have to constantly choose happiness, and then every act of ‘work’ becomes an act of happiness. There is no path that is laid before us and if we follow it correctly we will be happy, we have to make a path. Again, thank you. I hope one day I have people in my life who think openly like you.

  • Michelle

    Awesome post! Thanks for sharing this info.

  • I really love this message and can relate 100% to this journey. I’m currently going through a transition of my own, after quitting my job (you can read about it here). I’ve been taking my time to meditate, reflect, and just breathe for a while and allowing the universe to guide me to my next step. I’ve started to feel like I’m just being lazy, but this post is a good reminder of the need for calm and pause sometimes. Thank you!

    Catherine | The Single Diaries
    “On Burning Out”

  • Cierra

    This is scary, because I am a senior too (I’m graduating next semester– a semester later than my class). I wonder about what I’m going to do with my life… But I came across the same realization as you, my sophomore year in college: speech therapy.

    I have an autistic younger brother as well. He’s high-functional, though. But I remember the months spent at different speech therapists, looked into the major, and took up an intro class.

    I fell in love, and the next three years I loved every class I took.

    Until I got to my senior year, where we are fortunate enough to have a clinic class (we have a clinic in one of our building’s basements where we take actual clients that pay and we teach with the supervision of our certified professor who gives us feedback twice a week the whole semester with our one client).

    I found out I HATED it.

    I personally believe that you don’t know what you like until you actually TRY it. We’re at a time of our life where we should be experiencing ALL kinds of experiences… NOTHING is like actually getting your hands dirty in something you’re interested in, versus just learning about it.

    For me and speech therapy, I LOVED learning the science aspects of the field and all of the things about speech were SOOO intriguing to me (IPA, dialects, tongue placements, anatomy, etc). But I learned during my senior year that I HAAAATE teaching when I took some education classes to fulfilled my mini minor I had to get for my degree.

    I know for speech therapy I can teach adults with aphasia or any other speech issues from accidents, but for my client (who was a well-behaved, sweet girl) I HATE teaching. I’m not a fan of kids and I was never allowed to babysit when I was younger… So I have no clue what kids want, how to be creative with them… During my sessions I would follow EXACTLY what my professor told me to do with my client. I had to Google everything, and even then I still stuck EXACTLY to what they said. I could not think outside of the box to save my life. I’d stand in our resource closet and had no clue how to make lessons fun, moveable (to keep kids energized and alert), and creative. I hated ANYTHING that had to do with the sessions, and I realized the semester before how horrible I was with kids when I was in those education classes.

    When I tried to be a group fitness trainer that semester before, I learned I just CANNOT teach a group of people, or even one-on-one. I HATE planning anything that involves other people. We were told to make up a 5 minute warm up for our class and I spent three hours on it because I didn’t know if I wanted to do yoga stretches, or something intense… What if someone has a bad knee? What if someone has respiratory issues? Should the alterations for them be slight or a different move to warm up to entirely? How will I read faces of the people who are struggling when they won’t say? How do I help them without calling them out?

    I got so stressed out that I got the shakes! Later that summer a group of friends asked what did I wanna do for my birthday, and knowing they were all involved, I started crying because I REALLY didn’t want to be bothered with trying to make sure they enjoyed themselves too on whatever happened on my birthday. I just kept telling them I did not care… Until I cried.

    Learning ALL of this… That I can’t plan, I HATE teaching, and am not creative when it comes to others involvement… Showed me that speech therapy is not my path. I LOVED learning, but DOING was a night and day difference for me until I had experiences with things I had to do in that field. It opened my eyes to my strengths and weakness and the difference between working through obstacles because you’re absolutely passionate about what you do, versus just straight out, absolutely being bad at something and hating it so much so that it physically takes a toll on you, and I’m grateful for that.

    When I graduate, I plan to spend at least a year exploring options. This time, I’m not just gonna learn, but get my hands dirty.

    (SOOOOO sorry for the novel!!) I tend to get a bit too wordy. =/

  • GMC

    If life was mapped in a specific or preconceived way then pondering what to do with our lives would be senseless and in vain. Each opportunity has a different journey and each decision brings different lifestyles……My point being that change is an opportunity and the decisions you make will alter the outcome, take a risk and live beyond expectation….there is no right and every wrong is a lesson, you are only on the wrong path if you constantly second guess your decisions!!!

    Fear not your failure to reach the destination but rather your inability to start the journey!!!

  • Tulay Azize Tuncay

    I find that as soon as you take the focus off yourself the rest comes naturally. True happiness comes from helping others. Everything that I have ever done has been with this in mind and it has never failed me.

  • archit

    man i really dont know what should i do after 12th

  • Diesel Fitt

    I agree 100%. It’s not fair that we’re forced to choose one path, one career that we’re suppose to stick with for the rest of our lives. We’re hunters, we find food in different areas at any given moment. We don’t feel alive by doing the same thing everyday, especially if we don’t have any other choice. Thanks for this, it helped me a lot!

  • The Queen of Dreaming

    During my last time in high school I had this ‘what I’m going to do next’ moment (ok it was like 6 months long but call it moment). After time and time thinking about my biggest passions and abilities and changing my mind everyday, I had this brainwave watching tv. I realized that I want to dedicate my abilities to the others, that’s why right now I’m in college studying for a degree that allows me to be a cancer researcher, and maybe one day (who knows) my passion for chemistry will find a cure for that terrible ailment.

  • AR

    Thanks for that lovely thought! It’s true, but so hard to get.

  • RandomGuy

    I am also wondering what to do with my life. I am a computer programmer now, I remember i took up I.T in college not because i am into computers but because they say you can earn a lot with this kind of profession. “Money” one of the things that actually seduces a person to do things without even thinking if you would really love/enjoy what you are doing. I really wanted to be a musician or maybe an animator which i think is a little bit late now. I am still in the process of knowing what i want in my life. Great article though.

  • Wow. As a rising junior, this is just what I needed to hear right now. Summer vacation began two weeks ago, and yet I am still stressing over how teachers were bombarding us at the end of the year about how many tests we have to pass, how we have to start applying to colleges, dates, deadlines, studying (plus an add-on of way too much summer homework for a “vacation”). At times it seems that I just can’t deal with it all. I’m a worrier, even though my GPA is 4.67. My parents expect me to know what I want to do soon, my teachers expect that, and yet I don’t even have many interests! I know that I need to let go of everyone else’s expectations and just do me… but it’s hard.

  • Abbie

    I feel as if I have being doing “nothing” for three years and yet I have no answers. I’m more lost than I have ever been and no idea what to do now.

  • sarthaki

    I have been struggling and still is to know about myself…about my likes…dislikes…do please help me in this

  • 3xl

    My problem is that I want to do things that require going to super-expensive schools and get discouraged in this highly competitive world thinking I may not get that far successfully to pay off those high student loans. I was already stuck paying off a year’s worth of loans for a decade which didn’t do much towards any careers because I lost interest in the field altogether. What if I work so hard at something else and lose interest again wasting more money?

  • miz

    Same here girl. I already graduated though and I’m always so worried about what others think.

  • vv

    i have got a well paid job in the most reputed company and yet i m not happy with what i m doing;at the same time i m sceptical to take the risk of leaving the job and exploring what i really want to do as i have too many ideas floating in my mind but dont know hot to go about it and also a single person at it …wish i had a reliable partner …what if i ended up with no money and only time to kill?

  • mark ibrahim

    I am 26 now and just got married i wanted to be a teacher for a long time but now realizing maybe i am not the kind of person who can take any more schooling i enjoy learning but just the process has worn me out . I want to make people proud . But most of all i just to find peace and be happy . But i dont kmow what kind of career i want thank u guya

  • alicia

    I think understanding who you are and how you work is ridiculously important. I felt so depressed and lonely for so long because I didn’t understand who I was or what I wanted, I just never gave myself the time of day and used anything as a distraction; food,sleep etc. I lost all energy and passion of life.

    I am in such a healthy state of mind now though. I’ve tried online courses but I didn’t feel connected to them enough, yeah I got to understand how to help myself but had no motivation to implement change. And the courses would be aimed at everyone…not me personally.
    Tbh I think all I really need was to feel apart of something and stop being lonely but had no idea how to stop avoiding social connection. So my mum showed me this website called soul-surgeons. I did program 1: Soul searching and was with a group of about 12 people. First class was so difficult but after we’d all shared about ourselves we got to realise how similar we all were and I had instantly gained 12 friends. From then on, I got heaps better. I learnt about myself but actually got given a personalised lifestyle program. Everyone in my group had different things to work on and different personalities but we all helped each other, and the leader of the group is one of my best friends now.

    I have honestly never felt so content with my life. I feel genuinely happy, best feeling in the world. And they have this 4 annual event thing a year were you get to see everyone from your group again as well as other people. I honestly feel like I have a second family now. I see everyone from my group regularly, we are all so different mentally from the first session. We go to parties, breakfasts, birthdays and camping trips together all the time and are planning a europe trip this year! And i love love love the 4 annual events, I don’t feel lonely anymore. Even when I’m alone. Because I understand myself, understand others and have restarted my life 🙂 I really would recommend people to try it out because there is literally no help like this and sharing is caring haha

  • Simon the Chicken

    From your perspective it’s like why strive for something impossible? You look at life as a plain field and all you need to do is garden it, water the grass, trees, vegetables. When the harvest is ripe take what you need and enjoy the fruits of your labors. If you like acting, playing an instrument, or any of the such plant it in the garden along with a few other things you like until the time of the harvest. I think with this mindset in mind people are too lazy to go and garden in there life they are trying to achieve something without really planting that seed so when the harvest comes they end up hungry, and bitter at life when it’s really they are mad at themselves. This is very enlightening for me, thanks for the post.

  • patricia

    I’m in my senior year and I can’t figure out what I want for my future career…and it is frustrating. 🙁

  • nope

    This article is crap. You have to plan and they stress that on young adults because we need self discipline or most people would be lazy slobs. Why teach kids how to enjoy life and live in the moment? Most people already know how to do that. Also, what about the people who can’t live in the moment because they are privileged and need to work, focus, create money for their families? It seems like you live in a box, or um wait just around a bunch of college students complaining how life is sooooooo hard.

  • nope

    delete my comment i was being rude.

  • Mark

    I think you should stick with your original decision. When working with others, you dont have to know everything all at once, the main thing is to care about the people. It sounds like you are a curious person and have a love for learning. That is awesome – that is what makes a great teacher. Pass that love on to others. In any field, people are most helped when they develop a curiousity. Ask your people how they are feeling and doing – they will let you know how to take the next step. People are helped most by their relationship with you, not information you give them. Sounds like you are very capable of helping others.

  • Cierra

    Thank you so much. I cannot believe this was over half a year ago; it was like I was reading a journal entry! QUITE a bit has changed, and I’d like to update:

    I decided to take that class involving people with Aphasia and absolutely love love love it. I know now that I’d want to work with adults more than anything, or older kids if I had to work with kids.

    I’m still flexible toward any other types of people, or age groups I may have to work with, but I think I’d just like to work on medical speech therapy or something along those lines. I also learned about an awesome opportunity under Fulbright to teach english abroad after graduating.

    Guess who applied to teach English in South Korea for 13 months?! I applied for middle/high schoolers, and feel safer with this opportunity because we’ll be spending 6 weeks with all the other 80-something grantees at a university in South Korea doing intensive language study, workshops about the culture, and being taught specifically how to teach (cause ANYONE can do this, so they must have us prepared!)

    My future is pretty uncertain otherwise. I have no means of transportation, am just able to save money to try and get my passport and visa, and live in a pretty bad neighborhood where I don’t feel safe walking around or getting a job at. I’d LOVE this opportunity because they pay for the flight, give you a monthly stipend, and I get a home stay!

    I also get to travel to a country I’d LOVE to go to, and will have the ability to cheaply travel elsewhere while I’m away. I’d be able to save money, start paying off loans (since it’ll be so hard now), try teaching again, be an American Ambassador, have that on my resume (since not having a car has kept me from gaining experience to put on a resume, TO apply to grad school with confidence), and have money to apply to grad school, too… Just a lot of opportunities can arise from this for me. Ones that I need and truly want.

    Please pray for me and send positive vibes and thoughts my way that I receive this grant (and also a smooth conversation with the family because I know hell will be raised when they find out… Because I didn’t tell them I applied. I know they’ll try sabotaging me, and WILL stress me out about it)!!

    Thanks again! =)

  • jason

    Invest in global bank .us where we put our energy into something that works ….not just a lot of talk about it shits. Oh i am so ……what? selfish? this planet Earth and it people needs major help.. THATS YOU!!!!!!!!!! dam . What to do with all our lifes , save this Planet……..!

  • GOD

    Please read my book beyond the future!

  • Simon the Chicken

    In the beginning was Tao, Tao was with God, Tao was God. He ( The Tao ) was in the beginning with God and, all things through him did exist. The Tao is the light and, that light is the light of mankind.

  • maki lee

    this is like what Allah wants us to realize we don’t need be worried , we don’t need a plane to live our life , jut put your faith in Allah then yourself and be sure anything you dreamed about and you want it , it will come to you soon or later in the right time .

  • vanes

    I really idk what to do with my life . I live with my bf but I wanna do more in life not just be a mom . helpppp!!!???

  • Brenda Gaines

    Wow. You GOT it ED!!!! Thats exactly it! We are here to BE …NOT to DO! So BE the BEST in every moment… and the rest of your life is a reflection of that LOVE.

  • Ruby Garcia

    omg thank you for your words!!

  • Janae Richards

    i’m still in school and really confused about what I want to become, but this article helped a lot and what you’re saying is so true cause sometimes while I’m watching law and order I feel like I want to be a detective or a lawyer and while reasoning with my friends about their problems I feel I should become a psychologist and in accounts class I feel like I should become an accounts teacher or an accountant….. I just don’t know what I want right now and you showed me that it’s ok not to, life is indeed a journey

  • Cathy

    I am not good at math and I’m not very social but I like watching animated family/action films, animals, and I like to speak my mind. What career path should I take? This is my future we are taking about so give me the goods! Please and thank you.

  • Dino

    I’m 20 years old, only had one relationship in my life and that ended 3 years ago, still live with my parents… and finally got in university. After a struggle choosing courses in high school, got into archaeology, as i felt really motivated, passed the first semester with one of the highest averages, everytime we talk about geology or the planet i feel delighted, but to get in one of the “planet” or biology courses i need mathematics, which i uterly failed in highschool, so now i feel so dismotivated, like i have nowhere to turn to, i feel lost, i feel numb, i feel as if i reached a dead end, i feel like im useless, always thinking in changing courses or areas of study… spent all my life almost addicted to video games, (i think i used them as an escape) along with the feeling that i shouldn’t spend so much time doing the things i thought i loved (games) in order to fullfill the “program”. all the pressure is driving me crazy, but now not even the games soften this anxiety that i feel, if i think of dropping out of uni and get some job anywhere, i feel like im not using my skills to their full potential, but skills in what?! if i don’t even know what i want to do! i don’t want to do things that i dont feel like, and since i dont like anything, my mind is sitting infront of the computer, becoming a vegetable, waiting for the weekend to pass. i’ve always been the kind of person that keeps everything to himself and doesn’t really go out much, although when im with my classmates im the one always laughing and seemingly happy, when one of my friends feels depressed i go right after them to try and cheer them up, and that makes me feel so good when i succeed. i’m guessing i think too much about everything and i believe that is what is causing this anxiety of mine, but i just cant change that! i always fantasize about helping others on a daily basis but then i feel lazy or not getting outside of my “bubble” or safe zone, and i don’t feel brave enough to burst that bubble… i used to help my parents on their job, but these past few years i’ve always given bad excuses for not helping them, like i really gotta do this work for school or other stuff, when i know i had the time more than enough to help them then do the work and then do whatever i like. when i think about myself, i could not care at all and do all these things carelessly but i feel guilty about them and awfull, and that is destroying me! my familly’s economy isnt the best right now, but i’ve never lacked anything in my life, my parents provided everything i needed, but i feel like the money is also a hige restriction… i don’t know what i am anymore… a lazy person?, i dont want to work?, i dont want to do anything, else than being a vegetable looking at the ceiling? ive even dreamed once of me looking at the mirror and seeing myself with long scruffy hair and beard, all dirty, like a bum… thank you all for the posts above, eases my mind a little but doesn’t change my situation, or else, i don’t know how to use your insights to change myself. helpppp? maybe this isn’t the right place to throw in all this information, if so direct me to the right place please! cheers!

  • Angel

    When I read your post I felt like I was reading something I would write. I too was never allowed to handle kids when I was growng up and now I am almost 25 and still freaked out about handling children. I graduated with a Psychology degree but I feel so lost at the moment. I felt like i have been putting so much pressure on myself to please everyone that I forgot myself and to just do what makes me happy. The irony is I never actually took the time to know what exactly makes me who I am since i was constantly changing myself to suit others. My fault i guess. Anyway I wish you all the best and sorry for the rant. I hope one day to figure myself out at least. Cheers

  • Angel

    I think I could really use that. Life where I come from is so fast paced and driven by social norms that its hard to truly find yourself and its easy to confuse what I want with what others want from me. I have been feeling the same way you described. This feeling sucks. 🙁

  • Obviously i am in the same state you explained as i am reading this article.

    First, i am thanking you for this. You have nice writing skill.

    However, I have graduated in 2nd February 2015 in Civil Engineering. result was not so good and so bad. But Ok. I have a little idea why i have chosen this subject. I did wanted to get a good life actually by getting a job where i can enjoy my life and get some good money. That was the thing maybe. But i did have passion about Computer Related things. As usual my family members thought that CS graduates has no future. I am from different society than other western countries. My country is not comparable to yours, so no wonder on that. However i have an uncle who has B.Sc degree in Civil and he told me to take CE but i can’t blame him, he didn’t force me.

    Main thing is, i had no idea what this is about and i had no idea what real life is about when graduated.

    I took Civil and finished it this March with final presentation. I had some interviews, they want experience. So, it is hard to get a job in Civil without experience, i came to know and still facing this.

    Back to my student life: When i was in first semester i got a laptop and before than i had not that idea related to Computers and laptops. Attacked with virus and had to take that to Service Center. After that day when searching on google how to get rid of Viruses, i found about Fedora Linux. And then my journey starts. I was using Linux distributions and get influenced with it very much i guess. I have gathered some basic ideas about these Distributions (Or OS 🙂 ) then that year i started writing a personal blog where most stuffs were about Linux.

    Eventually CS was my attracted subject. But it was late. And i was in graduation year.

    So after graduation i am still confused what should i do. And that blog ? got me a job as a Dev&Ops consultant someday ago and i did go to that office for someday. And i have found i can be very good at this particular subject as i can see others SWE… I believe i can be better than them if i had CS degree maybe. I am not saying they aren’t good.But i can be better with basic ideas with me.

    Now i am still confused whether i should stick with this job or not. 🙁 And this job has better salary than Civil freshers salary… Far better.

    What should i do ? when i see the other fresh CS graduates in the office has not that knowledge like me i feel underpaid as they re getting good salary. I am very very much confused what should i do … 🙁

  • roshan

    thts exactly wht i believe

  • Jezzy

    Well for me, after reading this, The questions retain on my mind. I graduated Marketing Management. Right now im still wondering, I felt like Im not satisfied with What I am right now im an employee of a big company. I love my job but the questions still bothering me its somewhat like knocking me.. is this really what I really love doing? I really want to help other people but I dont even have the capacity to do it.. I love running my own world but it seems like my situations are a little bit harder to do it.

  • You are most welcome :-] xo

  • Jackie

    Awesome read!!! Thanks for reminding us that we are all different and we can be on different paths in life and it’s OK!!!

  • Aj

    Hey there, I totally agree. I graduated with a degree in Biochemistry on the prompting of other people. After graduation, I had a mental break-down. Now, I’m trying to figure out what’s next. I hope we all do. Here’s to good vibes for all of us. It’s nice to hear from someone else who may in the same boat you’re in.

  • Snow

    Hi Dino, I understand how you feel as i feel the same way. Everyday I realise how lazy i am because i do nothing at all when i have all this time to spend doing the things i really like. I’m starting a degree now related to health because i like the fact of helping people but i’m not sure if that’s what i wanna do for the rest of my life. I only have one thing sure in my mind and that is: I want to be happy, live the life I have always dreamt about and be surrounded by the people i love, but that is complicated. It means I need a proper job to travel which is one of the things i love most, to watch the breathtakingly beautiful nature, to learn how to play the guitar or the piano, and also draw. I know the things I like, the problem is I need time, money and i need to be brave enough to fight against my shyness and fears, face it and go outside to meet the wonderful world out there. Yesterday it was my birthday, and I realised that another year was going to its end and i had done nothing that really made me happy apart from learning english which is another thing i love. Yeah, I know I’m weird, but I love this language, I love learning new idioms and being able to understand people all around the world. Now, you now a little bit more about me, I wanna tell you something. Don’t be scared, just don’t. It won’t help you in any way. If you really like games, maybe you should try something abot them, i’m sure there are courses where they teach you how they are created and all that stuff. I know probably I’m not the best person to help you but I hope this helps you a bit. The most important thing is finding out what you really like, and “what” can be plural (more than one thing), once you know that you only have to pursue your dreams, fight for what you want and don’t stop until you get it. Probably, you won’t find a job that gathers every single thing that you like, i wish that existed, but maybe that job that you like a little bit more than the other helps you to achieve your real dreams and what you really like. All you have to do is take enough time to find out what you like and DO NOT stop trying till you get it, even though it’s hard. Good luck and best wishes 🙂

  • Troy NocturnalVegasvip

    Like Joyce Mayers said, “We are human Beings not human doings”

  • Lissa T

    I am 43 and feel kinda lost. I have a great marriage. I met my husband 22 yes ago and he had two daughters 8 & 9. He had custody because their mother never showed up at the custody hearing. I spent the next 22 years raising them and talk about them as if they are mine. I got a lot of grief from my family ” they are not yours, why are you so concerned”. I truly love these girls. Also helped to raise my first granddaughter from our oldest she was (3 when all this took place). Well she got with a man who beat her and caused her first miscarriage. I brought her home and not long after she chose to go back to him. I begged her to think of my grand baby and herself. She went with her heart. Months down the road they showed up at my house, he jumps out of the car drunk and verbally attacks me because I tried to keep my daughter from going back to him and she told him about it. I could not say anything t the time did not want to escalate the issue with kids in my care. I placed the kids in the house made my husband get out of the shower and watch them while I proceeded to find this asshole who just did this. Never got a chance they stayed clear until they moved south with her mother a month later. Now 9 years I have 3 grand babies and things have been fine, he has never apologized for the attack so I have not dealt with him. He is unwelcome at any family function. I can’t imagine seeing him without burying the hatchet ( in His head!). This past summer they came to my area and my oldest stepdaughter decided she wants him to be welcome into he family. So I say OK let me and him talk. He says “no I’m over the whole situation” . So I told her sorry he is not welcome. She is now keeping the kids from me until I welcome him into my life. I’m glad she is happy. This doesn’t mean I have to be around him. I have been seeing these kids fine for 9 years and now its an issue. I raised her and did everything for her. I am now thinking I wasted so much of my time on a child who could careless about me. One minute I’m a Grammy who adores her grand babies and they adore me now I am not I don’t know who I am or how to feel about all the years I put into her to have this happen. Feeling lost…..

  • Lissa T

    Have been so depressed about the situation I quit my job and need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life….

  • Nice words, really thought about it.

  • The straight and narrow path we are educated to stick to is something I tried to step off of for a long time, but it wasn’t until recently (after diving off only to hurry back on due to societal pressures) that I have finally been able to stay clear and flow through my life and growth. But it’s a hard thing to do. Educated to constantly be forward thinking, being in the here and now is quite a feat. You’re absolutely right, though. Once we open up our lives to the universe, once we tap into our unlimited potential, things we cannot even fathom come.

  • RealityCheck.

    I’m sorry, but what in the hell does a maybe 24-year old (and thats a generous assumption) know about life? I find your advice to be an immature, insipid, kitschy dreck.

  • Sierra Knapps

    I’m so struggling with this right now. I want to try many things in my life and have fun, just live it, you know? But it costs money which requires a good career. Which requires college….which is a lot of money…. I want it to count, but I have no clue what I want to do as my career. I don’t want to be forever wondering. I just want to be happy with my life/career.
    It’s so scary to think about what my future holds 5 years from now from where I am with my life at the moment. Maybe I should just stop thinking and just go to college and deal with it as life comes along or should I be prepared and know what I’m getting myself into, when I really have no clue?

  • Yim Bott

    I had an epiphany that I wanted to be a speech therapist for the same reasons and remembered how as a kid I was always fond of my own speech teacher and the profession. But now that I’m in it, I’m not sure I’m cut out for it. I really want to do it but IM struggling in class and don’t have the confidence I need to make sure I am getting it all right. Help!

  • In this stuff, I liked a lot the speech of Steve Jobs. I rapidly started to do things instead of planing them. And of course, you have to love what you do.

  • Stacey Noel

    Nice article.

  • I believe that in life you must always be alert. Life is a constant change if you are aware of it you will enjoy 100%

  • Martin Price

    I’ve been waiting,just haven’t known what for.i know that’s odd to say.Always kinda felt dormant..