Dear Susannah,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtful, kind, wise and truly empathetic response. Your words really resonated with me and I’ve looked back at them many times and they have comforted me.

You are right that this is in a way harder because of the deep bond my sister and I share. In some ways, I almost wish we were not this close, so the pain would not be this difficult to withstand. But then I think of her and I and all of our times together and I would not trade those for anything.

I suppose this pain that I feel is an indication of the amount of love my sister and I have for one another.

Thank you for reminding me to cherish these moments with her. Although so painful and harrowing, to be there for my sister and her children, strengthens our love even more. Solidifies our bond even further. I just wish the pain was more bearable. It is difficult to break down so often.

She has not been given an official diagnosis yet, the doctors have just said what they suspect this to be. It is very complicated. You are right that there are many treatments and courses of action, especially these days. I am hoping and praying she recovers and that as you said we can enjoy many happy years together. I meditate on her, sending her all my love and support and in some way, I feel a change in myself at the moment, as if like an email, that message of deep love and care has been received by her. This comforts me.

In the mean time, I am just learning to be with these difficult feelings and not try to escape them or control them, but to just let them be.

I am so grateful for your response Susannah. I send all my good wishes to you and I thank you so much again.

Sasha