Thanks anita….just hard as i at least now I’ve slipped into depression.Which was the problem that cause the break up from beginning of this year.I have learnt from this and just want to heal and move on asap

Am trying to detach myself from her emotionally and recognize my thoughts.Which are constant all day memories etc…Thanks for replying anita,very much appreciate this.I have found that i do have a huge heart to give bigger than i thought i knew.Have written down all my failures in the relationship and have learnt and seeked help.Just wish she could of given me a second chance.Which i know now is impossible with her rebounding boyfriend.I think she is cold on me again which is ok cause it helps me and il stay out of her picture for her to work out her own emotions……Am trying to tell myself if its meant to be its meant to be but i can’t go on waiting for that maybe as its to hurtful to me and my heart and mind.
I just know it could work if given a chance and the best shot maybe thats one of my downfalls as I’m an optimist.

My relationship with my parents has been the closest its even been for the last 8yrs…my ex wife disliked them etc…am really trying to recognise and accept that Neilia and i may never be together again and look after my own heart and mind.She seems to of gone cold again via txt since she has come back from her holiday and im going back into NC.Have a feeling her emotion are starting to surface of what has occured between us but i cant worry bout that i understand now.Thought i was all the wiser to a serious relationship of what i learnt from previous toxic relationships….Am trying to kick her off the pedestal and have been told to make a list of pros and cons of her and 3mths on i still can’t list any cons with neilia.I want to draw on her cons but cant recognise any.She has my heart like no one has in my entire life.

Thank you anita.appreciate that.This week was especially tough as she was txting me reminiscing etc..and told me she wont be able to reply for a week and dont think she being rude she just can’t reply,as she has gone for a week to Bali overseas(I’m in Australia)..She told me she had booked and her new rebound had decided to go as well.So has been a tough week with anxiety like ive never experienced before.I sent her a long detailed email of reflection on all topics of our relationship and she arrives back in the country this weekend and ive decided i need to go back into No contact unless she initiates first and i will just reply neutrally and take small steps.Am hoping she has had time to think while away and reflected on what has happened in the last 3mths.I love Neilia with more whole heart and she reciprocated that to me.I just think our relationship is worth reconciling and not throwing away true endearing love between two people…Sorry for venting but this helps me

Adam