Dear Tatertots123,

I know what you are going through.

Many years ago, my first boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere. I spent six months in a very dark place inside myself. But I got better, and I learned, and I lived so many beautiful things after that! After some months, my ex-boyfriend contacted me. He wanted to go back together. He was sorry and he said he was depressed. He sent me flowers, wrote a letter, recorded a cd (it was a long time ago, cd’s were a thing). And he begged and begged me to go back.  I was still very found of him, and I felt very touched by his pain.

But I KNEW deep down that we were no good for each other anymore. I said no, he suffered terribly, but eventually he got over it and moved on with his life. I met him at parties years after that and he seemed the same happy guy as before.

This experience taught me a lot. What helped me to get over him, and him get over me was distance and time. We stopped communicating with each other, and eventually we met new people, found new interests, and life moved on.

And your ex WILL move on, but only if you both allow him to. In my honest (and raw) opinion, trying to make your ex feel better after the breakup is not your job. Not only because his emotions are not your responsibility and never will be, but because I imagine that talking to the one we lost is really painful. Is very lovely of you to be worried about him. But you are not responsible for him. Let him go.

I know it seems we will never get over it, and he’s in a very bad shape. It’s been 2 weeks since your break-up, and that’s how you’re supposed to feel after a breakup. I was in a very dark place too, and it seemed to have no end, like I was lost forever in a dark and scary forest not knowing where to go. But guess what? It did end. The dark forest (I love analogies) was just some place that I needed to cross to get to the other side.

So my advice for you is this: give him and you time to heal. Talk to him for the last time, give your best advice, and try not to contact him anymore. I know he was your best friend and a very dear person. But you and him will still meet so much lovely people in your lives! I can guarantee you.

Let him go. And allow him to let you go to. It’s really, really painful, but is the only way forward.