Hi Laura

Recently I experienced something similar to what you went through. I got into a long distance relationship over the internet and we ended up living together. A lot of my demons came up and really interfered with the relationship. I went through some very rough patches in my past relationships where I was cheated on repeatedly, lied to and hurt. I went through a deep depression that I never received treatment for. I ended up cheating on my current ex. I shouldn’t have done it but i’ve reconciled that part of my life.
I used to think that I was in love yet at times I wasn’t sure. The problem was, I never really knew myself or allowed me to be myself. That all stemmed from my past and it took a pretty drastic event to realise that.
I can understand where you are coming from. Each person comes into our lives to teach us something about ourselves.