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June 25, 2014 at 11:05 pm in reply to: Self guilt might ruin my relationship, need to make a solid change #59593AshriParticipant
Hi Misha. I know how it feels like to feel insecure and the feeling of being a burden on others whilst being a perfectionist. I think many of us here do as well. You’re right, nobody in this world is the most perfect person in the world, there is nobody in this world who doesnt make mistakes. But here’s the catch. YOU are the most perfect person you can ever be. With all your strengths, weaknesses and flaws, you are perfect just the way you are. No matter what kind of person you are, there’s always someone in the world who is willing to accept all of you. If you don’t want to go to the strip club, you should be able to tell your boyfriend about it. The next time it happens, Keep Calm and let him know. If he really loves you, he would respect your decision and act accordingly simply because we all have our limits.
Remember: FEAR is a False Expectation Appearing Real. Would your insecurity actually lead to a breakup? You might fight over it, but I doubt you would actually break up. Even if it did (touchwood), then he simply isnt the one for you. We men have a wired inhibition to protect you princesses. So don’t worry about how insecure you are. The right guy will come along and just give you a hug and kiss you on the cheek and let you know its all gonna be alright.
I strongly recommend a book called “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coelho. For now, you could still read it here: http://www.e-reading.ws/bookreader.php/146361/The_Pilgrimage.pdf
On another note:
It may seem like there are some really strong people in the world who can take anything the world throws at them, they know who they are, what they are capable and not capable of, but truth be told, they have their insecurities too. My best friends are leaders in their own right. You can never have a day out with each of them without bumping into at least 5 other friends of theirs. They would get the most beautiful, loving girlfriends. People look up to them. Yet, every once in awhile, they would confide in me about their relationships, their work, and their purposes. They get heartbroken, lose confidence and are insecure at times too.
But the difference between them and the rest of us is that 1) they are true to themselves, 2) they respect themselves and others well, 3) they learn and adapt well, but never change who they are for the sake of others. Even if they have to slave their lives to their work at times or to a crazy boss, they never really change themselves nor their values. They simply learn and adapt. -
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