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August 6, 2025 at 2:13 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448241
AdalieParticipantHi Anita,
Reading your words made me feel really seen — like you understood what that moment awakened in me more clearly than I’ve been able to explain. You’re right — I think it did reflect back parts of me that had gone quiet for a long time, and I didn’t realize how much it meant to be noticed, encouraged, and treated with tenderness like that.
But it’s also hard. Because the very thing that felt meaningful to me might’ve been what made him disappear. I don’t know for sure — I can guess, I can imagine he got scared — but the truth is, I’ll probably never know unless he told me, and he hasn’t.
So now I’m left holding both things: the beauty of the moment, and the silence that followed. And your message reminded me that I can still honor what was real for me, even if I don’t get closure from him. That helps more than I can say.
Thank you for being someone I could say this to.
– AdalieWhy would he change the way he acts for me? He didn’t have to.
August 5, 2025 at 11:48 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448212AdalieParticipantThank you for putting into words what I’ve been struggling to explain. You’re right — it wasn’t just kindness, it was the way he noticed and honored little details about me, and how he encouraged me without trying to control me. That made me feel safe, capable, and seen in a way I haven’t in a long time.
What’s been so hard is that the same moment that felt sacred and empowering for me also seemed to be the end. I still don’t fully understand why he disappeared after that. Part of me wonders if he felt the connection was deeper than “casual” and it scared him, or if he’s just not in a place for emotional risk.
Maybe the very thing that made it so meaningful for me — that real tenderness, that feeling of being seen — is also what made him pull away. It’s painful, but I think you’re right that it showed me what I deserve to feel every day. I’m trying to hold onto that, even without him in my life.
August 5, 2025 at 10:53 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448210AdalieParticipantThank You i apprecaite it.
Yeah it awakened what think im missing because its not always present at home. Tenderness…he was kind quiet gentle,didnt make fun of me or force anything. So yeah for sure tenderness and care. Also motivation to go for concealed carry. I was interested in it and have only thiught about it. He said “go for it”. And i did i got my permit still working on step 2. He even suggested a firearm based off me saying my hands are small.August 5, 2025 at 7:55 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448204AdalieParticipantI dont know where to start. Just that its been hard with my partner. I think he may have mental issues he isnt willing to get seen too by a doctor. My dad and I think he may actually be Bi Polar. But its been hard married 😕 I not feeling anything anymore. They dont always treat me well. They go between being nice and then rude and mean. I didnt intend to cheat or anything but that brief connection meant something or showed me something. It woke me up a bit.
August 4, 2025 at 7:51 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448177AdalieParticipantI unfortunately dont feel love for my partner. I wish I did I care but I dont feel much. I cant stop replaying that day or what he said and acted out of my head. The memories and day dreams wont leave my head or fade.
August 4, 2025 at 1:45 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #448172AdalieParticipantCant get him out of my head. Seems like he meant to be casual and made it something else. I think we both did without meaning too.
May 14, 2025 at 6:37 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #445718AdalieParticipantThats my sister. I guess she would be maybe not all the time.
May 13, 2025 at 12:53 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #445706AdalieParticipantShort hair in that photo.
May 13, 2025 at 11:31 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #445702AdalieParticipantI’m alright I guess
May 9, 2025 at 11:23 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #445519AdalieParticipantI understand but I could tell hes hurt from relationships and the one that is probably with him the hardest and hurt him the most and his other relationships piled on top. There was something there and he didnt wanna face it or handle it. Bummer because if I was fully available I could show him I understand snd be there for him. He wanted casual only and I accidentally gave more. I didnt mean to.
May 9, 2025 at 6:08 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #445506AdalieParticipantHes just online sometimes at the same time and I know people hop online for any reason. I have sent messages but mostly leave him alone he dosent respond. There so many little things in between the lines. Kinda seems like he came out expecting a casual time and I accidentally gave him a little more. He was talking about working a long day and being tired it was hot. So without thinking I touched his back. He gave me a side look like he was thinking “oh crap shes touching me and I like it” at the beginning he i gave him a side hug and he held it. He let me put my hand in his. He turned his hand over for me and his reaction to my small hand in his was genuine. Just so many little more.
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