hey Dermot
look i don’t know you, but for some reason what i just read kind of i don’t know..touched me in a way
last summer i had the same problem, i was lonely and sad and just all over depressed. The truth is, we don’t know the future. You could wake up tomorrow and meet the love of your life and be changed forever.You can find the root of the problem and come to terms with it. Or, you can build up immense motivation and break out of this caging shell of yours.It may be a stretch, but i think it could happen. Something’s going to work out for you, i can feel it.
If you can’t be around humans, i suggest getting animals to comfort you and fulfill your social needs. They help a lot! and as for going to the doctor, i do think medicine can help your condition. Maybe have your mom go with you, or someone you completely know and trust? i don’t know what exactly you are feeling, but i can say that you have a purpose on this earth, and you haven’t found it yet, but i promise it’s there, and you will find it. i don’t know how to make you feel any better, but know that life goes on, and you will find your way out of this labyrinth of suffering. I’m not one of those big religious people, but if you are, maybe you can find strength through that. Good luck with your journey..this is just a pitstop..