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July 24, 2026 at 3:27 pm #459588
AlessaParticipantHey Everyone
A Daoist Story! 🩵
Confucius was travelling in Wei, when he saw Lin Lei in the fields, nearly a hundred years old, wearing a sheepskin cloak in the middle of spring, picking up leftover grain as he went, and singing as he worked.
Confucius halted and turned to look at him, and said to his disciples: “That old man is worth talking to. Someone go and ask him.”
Zigong went to the edge of the field, looked into his face and said: “Sir, do you feel no regret? Why do you sing as you gather the grain?”
Lin Lei did not stop, nor break his song. Zigong kept asking until he looked up and answered: “What regret should I feel?”
Zigong said: “When young, you did not exert yourself; when grown up, you did not compete with the times. You have no wife or child to care for in old age, and the time of your death is near. Where do you find happiness that you sing as you gather the grain?”
Lin Lei laughed and said: “The reasons for my happiness are shared by all men, but instead they worry over them. It was because I did not exert myself when young, nor compete with the times when grown up, that I have been able to live so long. Because I have no wife or child in my old age, and the time of my death is near, I am truly happy.”
Zigong asked: “Long life is what men desire, death is what men hate. Why should you be happy to die?”
Lin Lei said: “Death is to life as going away is to returning home. How do I know that dying here will not mean being born somewhere else? How do I know that life and death are not both mistakes? How do I know that my death now will not be better than my life before?”
Zigong listened and did not understand. He went back and told Confucius. Confucius said: “I knew he was worth talking to. He has grasped something, but he has not grasped it all.”
July 24, 2026 at 2:58 pm #459587AlessaParticipantHi Roberta
Well if the nursery does some letters and numbers I’m sure he’d love that. I’m starting to teach the first letter of words to him now. 👍
Wow that’s comforting to get a bit of insight into the crossing the road process. What if kids find holding hands tickly?
The kids are lucky to have you looking after them! 🩵
July 24, 2026 at 2:21 pm #459586AlessaParticipantHi Tee
I think I’m going to either try to find an audiobook of it, or turn a digital copy into an audiobook. It’s just hard to read around a child. I try to stay off my phone, as much as I can. The book really does sound amazing! I’m sold. 😊
Oh thank you! That’s a really good idea. 🩵 Makes things a lot simpler than conquer everything outside which is a lot for a little one to do. 😂 I will definitely do that, to get him used to it. I was thinking about joining the local classes as well to get him used to some of the kids.
That’s very kind of you to say. 🙏 He is loving summer. We went to the beach for the first time properly this year. First time in the water he finds a crab and two fish. We were next to a rock and some seaweed. But still, very lucky! 🍀 It was a big crab too. 🦀 The fish were tiny. 🤏
I hope you’re having a good summer too? 🩵
July 24, 2026 at 2:05 pm #459585AlessaParticipantHi Caroline
I don’t want to minimise what you’ve been through, because you have been through a lot. 🩵
In some way or other, we all change. The only way forward is to keep changing.
Do you ever feel glimmers? Little moments of happiness, where your senses focus on something?
In my experience, the main way to overcome trauma is to mindfully foster positive experiences, with others and whatever it is you want. If you don’t know, maybe try to find it?
A lot of my friends are in their 70s and 80s. So you are half way. Still a lot of life to live.
I am busy, tired and in pain. But things could be worse. I went to acupuncture and that helped. I have food, shelter and loved ones. I’m lucky. 🩵
July 21, 2026 at 12:33 pm #459546AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
That’s okay. 😊
It would be a freestanding one. We haven’t even got it yet, I’m just planning everything. The house doesn’t have a crawl space or basement. The flooring would have to come up and the floorboards.
Thanks for your help, I really appreciate the tips! 🙏
Awesome! I’m glad the car is all sorted now. Your family are lucky to have you. 😄 🩵
Yeah everything is okay. Kids really do develop quickly at his age. Wishing you and your family all the best! 🩵
July 19, 2026 at 3:04 pm #459506AlessaParticipantHi Roberta
Thanks so much for chiming in! I really appreciate your insights and experience. 🩵
15 kids and 3 EYPs sounds like a much better situation. I’m not sure about the big class myself. I don’t really understand why older kids get smaller classes in school, and the younger kids have such large group sizes here. There are 7 EYPs for 50 kids.
Yeah, I bet it’ll be a bit of a shock for him. He’s not a fan of large groups and noise. At least both nurseries have a separate quiet room. Hopefully, that helps. I resisted getting him ear defenders because I just wanted him to fit in. But he’s started taking a really big interest in nursery rhymes. His nursery rhyme class is rather a big group and it’s usually too noisy for him. Since he’s taking more of an interest, I think it might be worth trying to see if it helps him to join in a bit more. Hopefully it helps! 🩵
July 19, 2026 at 2:50 pm #459505AlessaParticipantHi Tee
Thanks so much for the book recommendation! I will definitely read it. 🙏 The title sounds like my cup of tea. Peer pressure can cause a lot of problems and my boy is a bit easily influenced. Seeing a girl who is autistic and hits at playgroup encouraged him to try doing it again. After I went through a lot of effort to teach him not to. Thankfully, it’s not happened again since. Trying to keep on top of it all.
Thank for the advice. 😊 That’s what I usually do. The issue is more when he’s outside. The nursery is fairly close to a relatively busy road and some woods. They take them to the woods sometimes and if he isn’t able to walk nicely, hold hands consistently when crossing roads and show general road sense, he won’t be allowed to go with the kids that can do it. I don’t want to miss out on opportunities for him to enjoy himself, especially since he loves the outdoors. It’s all kind of new to him because he used to use reins. So I guess he understands the rules and where he’s supposed to go and not go, but he’s just lacking a bit of practice managing temptations and distractions.
Thanks for everything! Take care, you’re an angel. 😇 🩵
July 19, 2026 at 2:20 pm #459504AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Yes, for sure!
There’s an outlet, but we don’t have the plumbing set up for it.
I talked to a plumber and he suggested running the pipe under the floor across the room because my kitchen is an awkward shape. My friend was encouraging me to look on YouTube and do it myself.
I don’t know… I’ve never done plumbing before. I can do basic things like unclog stuff and turn off the water. Connect a washing machine etc. I can change a light switch. I can do a bit of woodwork, so it’s not the floor itself that’s an issue.
Thanks for the tips about installation! You’re a star! 🩵 🙏 ⭐️
How is fixing up the car going?
July 15, 2026 at 11:10 am #459451AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Sorry, I’ve been quiet. How are you and Bogart doing? 🤍
It sounds like have things figured out with him. No more accidents on the bed I hope? 🤍
It always astounds me how much puppies are willing to chew on literally anything. 😂
I’m really glad to hear that you found a new place to drink at that allows dogs and you bumped into a bunch of friends. 😊
After everything that has been happening with the tap room and the winery closing you really needed that win. 🏆 🤍
Are the bugs really big where you live? When I was visiting the US I was shocked by how much bigger all the insects were. They have some horrible bites, so I really feel for you. Hope you’re enjoying the summer. 🤍
July 15, 2026 at 6:00 am #459445AlessaParticipant* he’ll drive the teachers batty
July 15, 2026 at 5:59 am #459444AlessaParticipantHi Tee
Thanks always happy to hear from you too! 🩵 I really appreciate your understanding. 🙏 Exactly. Often, I do take my time and sit with important things too. 🩵
I think you’re handling your health issues with a lot of grace and bravery. Praying for more “good days” for you. 🙏 🩵
The latest he will start is November. I’m just trying to get him ready for then because he’s a bit of a free spirit. With a class of 50, he’s going to have to be able to follow some instructions or he’ll drive hit teachers batty.
It’s been hard for me to um tell him what to do sometimes with my PTSD. Toddlers get hysterical about little things and it can make me feel bad. It brings back a lot of stuff from when I was a kid. I would never want to make him feel a fraction of what I felt.
Just have to try my best because he’s going to be in for a shock when he realises that there are a lot of rules otherwise.
July 15, 2026 at 5:34 am #459443AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Oh wow, a nice bit of good luck for you! That’s your karma for taking care of that tree. 😉 Thank goodness you’re a whizz kid at just about everything. 😄
I love the share about the cup. My only thought is that not everything is as easy to let go as a broken tea cup. 🩵
Oh random question for you. Any advice for installing a dishwasher? 🙏
July 15, 2026 at 5:27 am #459442AlessaParticipantHi Serenewolf
That’s so kind of you to say! We are doing well thanks. He’s tons of fun for sure. If only he would share some his energy. 🩵
I’m glad to hear that things are going well in your new job. 😊
Congratulations on getting medication for your adhd as well! Things are happening for you right now and that’s incredible. 🩵
July 11, 2026 at 1:25 pm #459389AlessaParticipantHi Kris
I can hear how hard for you the changes in your relationship with your sister over the years have been for you. 🩵
It’s really hard when you aren’t as close to someone you deeply care about anymore, and even harder when the relationship becomes a bit negative.
I’m sure there are lots of examples you could give. Sure, some of it could be explained as advice that was poorly framed. But I think it was definitely unfair to have that conversation when you were grieving. I would hope for people to be a good deal kinder in that situation. It was unnecessarily cruel. 🩵
Pretty much everyone has red flags and a lot of people have anxiety. As long as the red flags aren’t crazy and the green flags outnumber it, you’re fine. Just try your best, it is all anyone can do. It doesn’t make you broken or anything like that. Simply human. You’re not alone. 😊
July 11, 2026 at 10:14 am #459383AlessaParticipantHi Sisi
Well a kiss isn’t the worst, it’s not like you slept with anyone.
It sounds like you knew that person had a thing for you before you went drinking with them? Is that correct? I’m assuming you said no when you were sober.
For women, it’s generally not recommended to go drinking with a man alone even if you are friends and especially not if you know he has a thing for you. In this case, a friend you trusted kissed you. Much worse things can happen. It isn’t just your own inhibition that has to be considered. 🩵
Are you fairly young? Your parents really should have told you to be more careful because men can be quite predatory.
I think you did the right thing telling the guy you’re exclusive with. He deserves to know the facts and make decisions without being manipulated. Not many people are that honest. 😊
Do you think that maybe part of you is kind of ready for this relationship of sorts to be over even though you do genuinely like him? Or at least worry it might end at some point in the future? 🩵
How do you feel about being exclusive, not boyfriend and girlfriend?
It tells me that he has serious commitment issues. A lot of long distance relationships generally fail sadly. 🩵
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