Hi Substantial

Hmm the difficulty with anxiety is it’s not rational. You describe your style of love as “over-giving”. Not everyone has the same standards or expectations. You say that she rarely complains about you. That is a positive thing and rare to find.

That being said, she might not be the person for you. You might just prefer to be with someone who is different from how she is and there is nothing wrong with that, if that is the case.

The difficulty being that everyone has flaws and no one is perfect.

The question is what do you really want? It is okay to be honest with yourself. When you are calm and not feeling anxious, how do you feel?

Hi Andy

Well I can understand the concern about the tinder profile. Perhaps she isn’t lying to you and it is an old one? People can forget about these things.

But becoming suspicious and cyber stalking her because she has a facebook page is a bit of a leap.

I can understand why she needs some space because that is a betrayal of her trust in you.

It is difficult because both of you have experienced a lot of trauma in the past. Clearly this is bringing up a lot for you both.

I would recommend having a calm and honest conversation about all of this when things calm down.

It is really hard to trust people after everything both of you have been through. But not everyone treats people terribly. There are good people out there. You thought she was a good person? Try giving her the benefit of the doubt.