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January 13, 2026 at 12:50 pm #454135
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Thanks so much for thinking of us! It’s very kind of you. 🤍
He had quite a high fever but it broke last night. Now I have it. I’m afraid that I’ve not been up to much. 🤍
Thinking of you too! And Bogart!
Recall is where you train the dog to come to you when you call them. I don’t know what the leash laws are like in your area but in the UK if your dog listens to your commands well you can walk it without being on a leash.
Obviously near busy roads it is still important to be on a leash for its own safety.
And I was just referring to the story. 😊
January 11, 2026 at 11:12 pm #454058
AlessaParticipantHi Confused
What happened near the end of the 9 month relationship that made it go bad? How did it end? 🩵
I hear how much you want to have a healthy relationship that works out! That’s a really important dream. 🩵
Hope is not a bad thing. To have a successful relationship you are going to need that.
January 11, 2026 at 5:37 pm #454046
AlessaParticipantHi Confused
I wonder how past relationships with other women have been for you? How is it for you usually when things get a bit stressful in the relationship? 🩵
I think it’s normal to feel bad after an argument and I don’t worry about the length of the trip. For a LDR all of the time spent online together counts. What is important is if the person acts the same way online as in person.
Well, you were very honest and able to be yourself with her. That is a good thing. 🩵
The difficulty I think is that if things are rough from early on in the relationship, that is when things are supposed to be peaceful. I don’t know how things move on from there.
January 11, 2026 at 12:56 pm #454037
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Little Alessa says that she doesn’t mind sharing. 🤍
I’m glad to hear that you are feeling better. 😊
My son is ill again. Cold type symptoms, vomiting and a fever. I hope he feels better tomorrow.
Good thinking! Yes, he has a sound machine, he just has very good hearing. He hears planes and trains go by quite a long way in the distance. Maybe the downside of him liking cars and stuff.
Oh my goodness Bogart made a run for it! Well it is a very good sign that he came back. He might be ready to practice recall and walk off lead sometimes soon. It sounds like he’s bonded with you really well. 🤍
January 11, 2026 at 12:45 pm #454036
AlessaParticipantHi Everyone
A lot of good points! I’ve been thinking about it some more.
Everyone is different. Has different needs, priorities, beliefs and values.
I guess similar to the other koan.
Who is to say what is right and wrong? 🩵
Maybe a monk might love her, but also love Buddha. Maybe there would be enough satisfaction in a chaste life with the nun around? It is easy to guess, but only the monk could answer the question of why he hid his love. 🩵
January 10, 2026 at 8:14 am #454015
AlessaParticipantHi Miss Duchess
Lovely to see you again! 🩵
I don’t think that anyone could ever call you terrible. 😁
How is choir going? 🩵
January 10, 2026 at 8:11 am #454014
AlessaParticipantHi Kane
I’m glad to hear that you are feeling better. 🩵
I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. Of course, you are welcome to write on other members threads. I’m sure that you can share some unique insights. 😊
I agree with what Tommy is touching on. I find it challenging to try to understand some of the unhealthy habits people have. But things that are hard are often worth doing. 🩵
January 9, 2026 at 1:20 pm #453992
AlessaParticipantHi Everyone
I am straightforward as ever. If love is not open? Is it really love? 🩵
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts! 🙏 🩵
January 9, 2026 at 12:28 am #453972
AlessaParticipantLittle Alessa doesn’t talk very much. She would sit near little Anita, but not to close and offer her a piece of chocolate and say “Sorry” (for everything you have been through). 🤍
January 9, 2026 at 12:24 am #453971
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Sorry I have been quiet. Thank you for thinking of me. 🤍
How are you doing? I’m glad to hear your cold is away. I hope that the bladder infection quickly follows. 🙏
Our holidays were ok, but busy. It has been very busy recently and my son has not been sleeping well. He seems to have very good hearing and wakes up at any noises.
Also, my ill neighbour’s boiler broke, so I was helping to find her a new heater.
Great work on your exercises. You’re doing a really good job taking care of little Anita. 🤍
January 7, 2026 at 3:02 pm #453929
AlessaParticipantHi Tee
True! It is hard to overcome something that you don’t understand. I find that understanding things helps me too. 😊
I suppose a lot of things can be hard, but you never know when you might surprise yourself. I wish you luck! 🩵
I found a quote about courage. I looked at a few and settled on sharing this one. I appreciate the simplicity of it.
“The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” by
Mignon McLaughlin.That’s reassuring. Thank you for sharing. 🩵
January 5, 2026 at 7:32 pm #453862
AlessaParticipantHi Confused
Thanks so much! 😊 🩵
That’s understandable to not be up to much during the holidays. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are feeling rough. 🩵
It’s good that you let yourself grieve. It’s still not easy though. I can see the weight of what you’ve been through in the numbness. 🩵
Family is supposed to be this tremendous pillar of support and strength for people. Being without that is hard. 🩵
It’s good to hear that you have some friends. Are you close with them? 🩵
I don’t have a family. I think that put a lot of pressure on romantic relationships. It’s putting a whole onto one person to be your everything. Other relationships are important too and also your biggest cheerleader has to be yourself.
When I was a kid, I experienced emotional numbing. It helped me to cope with my trauma. A therapist taught me to connect deeply with my feelings and overcome the numbness. I still have habits of it today particularly with stress. Oh gosh, I had just under 10 years of therapy.
A good therapist will treat you with care and show you what a truly healthy relationship is like. 🩵
I don’t think you messed things up. Long distance relationships often fail. Very rarely do they succeed to the point of someone settling in the others country. It is inherently stressful by its nature. It’s a lot of blind hope.
Things will unfold the way they are supposed to and it is neither of your faults. 🩵
Perhaps you haven’t cut her off? But are just noticing the nature of long distance for the first time? I think if you had cut her off you wouldn’t care so much or be in as much pain over it. 🩵
You are definitely not a bad person. Please don’t talk about yourself that way! 🩵
January 5, 2026 at 2:19 pm #453850
AlessaParticipantHi Squiggly Pop
Happy New Year! 🩵
I hear you. My favourite part of vacation is just ignoring all of the stress back home and pretending it doesn’t exist for a while. 😂
It’s a beautiful little bubble. You might need another vacation. 😂
It is a shame that life is so stressful and expensive in your city. 🩵
I find compartmentalising helpful. I try to only think about the immediate things on my to do list and ignore the other stuff as much as possible. That is future me’s problem.
It sounds like you have a lot of hopes and dreams, but it seems like a lot is holding you back? 🩵
When life is challenging it is easy and comforting to daydream about something more appealing. Perhaps it might help you to set some smaller more achievable goals in the short term? Small wins as they say. It can make life a little brighter. ☀️
January 5, 2026 at 2:05 pm #453849
AlessaParticipantHi Renn
Well it sounds like the main thing that was attractive about your partner was his appearance since he didn’t flirt very much.
This other guy has both. Are you really happy in your current relationship if you are entertaining this? 🩵
It is respectful to your partner to shut down flirtatious behaviour. If I find others attractive whilst I’m in a relationship, I tend to just avoid them. Saves any hassle. 🩵
January 5, 2026 at 1:37 pm #453848
AlessaParticipantHi Elena
Echoing what some others have said, I think that many people just focus on who is right in front of them. 🩵
I’m sorry that it’s difficult to maintain relationships from another country. I think some people take it personally. 🩵
It is a shame when people don’t want the same level of contact or relationship as we do. Especially when they are important to us. It hurts. I find that matching the other persons level of interest is helpful.
I hope you spend some time with people in person. All you can really do is focus on building your own life. 🩵
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