Dear Anita

Thanks so much for your kindness! 🤍

I guess for me, it didn’t confuse me as a child. As an adult, it’s more confusing now. The confusing part is how to hold empathy for her and myself at the same time. The child in me gets angry thinking about it.

I’m sorry it was difficult for you too Anita. Life is hard sometimes. I’m glad that you’re free of it now and in a gentler place with your sweet Bogart. 🤍 🫂

I guess, I feel like most children are generally attached to their parents no matter the circumstances. It is just a strong bond in general. But healthy parents encourage their children to build their own lives and obviously try their best to help their kids.

I think it’s a problem blaming kids. Even the light stuff they don’t really understand. How could they? Being a parent is stressful. Everyone is tired and sick way too often. There is way too much to do and not enough time to do it. Children take forever to do everything, just want to have fun and have everything on their terms. The two lifestyles don’t really mix.

Adults say hurtful things to each other sometimes and can work through it. But a child takes it on board. So it’s really important to be careful because children can feel hurt. And as a parent you never really know what is going to hurt them. I guess except for the obvious stuff which society now warns people about.

Thank you I’m really trying my best! 🤍

Dear Anita

I hate when that happens! 🤍

I keep saying it, but your instincts are good as a dog mom. I don’t tell you everything and let you figure things out by yourself. You are very capable. You don’t need me to help you. 🤍

It sounds like he is really settling into his new life. You make him feel really safe. That is why he can be so affectionate even with big dogs. 🤍

You’re doing really well handling the cone!

Thanks so much for everything! 🤍

Hi Everyone

I have been having difficulties with PTSD recently. 🩵

I’ve always struggled with insecurity because of my childhood. Feeling like I’m going to be rejected by people.

I have been thinking about my biological mother too. I still find myself empathising with her difficulties as a parent.

I hated her pretty openly growing up. I didn’t say it. But it was still clear.

It must be really hard raising a kid who hates you. I know as a parent, I hope that my son won’t hate me when he grows up.

I also brought home random animals all the time because it made me feel better.

She might not have been a good mother. But she kept us alive. In itself, that is not always easy.

She made sure that we had the essentials (except for food). I don’t know how she managed considering the budget she was on.

She was a young alcoholic with severe mental health problems. The abuse was very traumatic. All in all she may have tried her best.

Lots of people say mean things when they are angry.

A third of people who experience trauma go on to become abusers themselves.

A fifth of autists are violent as part of their symptoms. And here beating your kids wasn’t even banned until 2020. They had to do it in stages over decades. Violence was a part of life for a lot of people.

She would sometimes buy us ice cream in summer. A cheap one at home. Or at the ice cream shop as a special treat. After getting teeth removed at the dentist we got sweets.

And sometimes we would go to cheap restaurants during the lunch special.

It is very complicated… The terror, pain and trauma I felt at her hands was real. It is enough to stay away forever.

In some way, some part of her must have cared though. In a twisted way. Not knowing how to care properly.

When I left, she tried to buy me back with stuff. I could get a computer or a saxophone. She stalked me for years.

I loved her as children do, all whilst hating her.

I am lucky that I got help and that the times are changing. That I can break the cycle. 🩵

Dear Anita

How are you doing? How is Bogart after his surgery? 🤍

I imagine he’s feeling a bit sorry for himself with his cone. My boy hated them. 🤍

That was very kind of the vet to clean his ears and trim his nails at the same time! 😊

Thanks so much! My boy is sick again. One of the other mums suggested that he might have asthma. Apparently that can be a reason why that they can get sick so frequently, especially during winter. Nothing too bad so far. His friend seems to have picked it up too and he was okay. So hopefully this is an easier one. 🤍

Dear Anita

Fascinating! Banana peels is a new one. Yes, it could be. It said that it was because they have a tendency to forage for food that they often have dodgy tummies. It was the same for my huskies.

I got some acidophilus pills (the human kind) and put one a day in their food. It helped so much because it was replacing the bad bacteria from whatever dodgy food they picked up outside with good bacteria. If yogurt doesn’t give him a dodgy tummy, that could be another option too. 🤍

Does he like the taste of banana? My old boy quite enjoyed it.

Haha you’re fighting a never ending battle trying to stop him from eating stuffing. 😂

Thanks, I love hearing about your journey as a dog mom and hearing about the antics Bogart gets up to! 🤍

I’m glad you like my sense of humour too! It’s an acquired taste. 😉 🤍