Hi Tee

I just want to say that it has been really nice all three of us talking and getting to know each other better. It is special to be able to connect with people who understand the difficulties that we all grew up with. I’m truly sorry for everything you went through. You are such a special person and it is especially cruel for the person who should support you the most not to see you for who you are and have always been. ❤️

It is difficult to explain. I don’t really want to get into it too much because this is Anita’s thread. But I can explain a bit more on my thread.

I’m thinking of you and your spine issues Tee! How frustrating, your back had just recovered.❤️

Please take all the time you need in replying. I’m here and there anyway. 😊

Hi Anita

Wow you really put your heart and soul into that place. I can hear how special it to you. I’m sorry that you are losing it, you’re left with debt and only two people came to say goodbye to the place. ❤️

I think that people are uncomfortable with emotions and goodbyes sometimes. You’re a lot more connected to your emotions. It is part of the grieving process for you to say goodbye to a place you loved so much. ❤️

I think sometimes when we put our heart and soul into something it can feel like a rejection of us. It seems to me that you are the kind of person who puts their heart and soul into everything they do. ❤️

Sometimes life is hard and unfair. Things don’t work out no matter how much we try. I think it really speaks to your bravery your willingness to put yourself out there and take risks for what you believe in. It is very brave of you! ❤️

Hi James

I just think that people are different and trying to change someones mind or beliefs is like trying to control the wind.

We believe what we believe and feel what we feel. All of our experiences are different. None are right or wrong to me. And all are.

My perspective is that we are all saying the same things but coming at it from a lense of using different language. It is easy to misunderstand each other when discussing such subtle ideas. ❤️

Thomas is a Buddhist with a lot of experience meditating and has trained with a teacher. Meditation means a lot of different things to different people. You may not share the same understanding of it. ❤️

I appreciate a spirited conversation! ❤️

Hi Anita

I’m so sorry for all of the suffering and abuse you experienced growing up. You didn’t deserve a second of it. Not one second!

Thank you for understanding! I wonder what your favourite colour is? I’m glad that you are being assertive too and sharing your feelings about things. 😊

Yes, I have a perspective of the difficulties involved as a parent with trauma.

Well, it is not just the lack of help. The lack of knowledge being a new parent too. And the mental health issues caused by the trauma. Then the practicality of taking care of children.

If I hadn’t had a ton of therapy, had specific postpartum therapy available and been medicated. The outcome would have not been good if I hadn’t had all of this help. Realistically, I would have either killed myself or been forced to give up my son. This is the reality of being a parent with severe trauma.

Even with all of my therapy, without the postpartum therapy. I would have continued to struggle and be in a very difficult place.

Things are easier for me now. I love my son and enjoy being a mother. I’m very thankful for the help I got.

Sorry, I don’t want to make this about me.

Hi Tee

If you have something that you’d like to say could you please write to me individually? ❤️

I’m sorry, it seems like you’re still not really hearing me. It might seem like that from your perspective, but I’ve explained repeatedly that was not what was meant at all. ❤️

Society is broken and wrong. I even disagree with the premise that people who abuse in a more covert way are seen as good parents by society. They are simply not seen as problematic enough to use the resources it would cost to remove their children.

The world is slowly changing in regards to children. What was accepted, is now illegal.

Hi Anita

One of the things that you have brought up in the past is that you have difficulty with your trauma because your mother at times tried to express care. But behaved horribly cruelly at other times. I would have thought it was important to address this? Clearly I misjudged your willingness to explore these themes. I’m sorry for offending you. ❤️

Personally, I’ve found it helpful to see the situation with my Mother for what it was. It is a relief in a strange way, to acknowledge the “good” as well as the bad. Even though it was misguided and born of selfishness. I understand that you are not ready for that. I apologize for bringing it up. ❤️

My mother would ride bikes with us to tire us out. And ship us off to people at the church to work on their farm. She would surprise us in the middle of the night occasionally, waking us up to go get pizza. Sometimes during summer we would get ice cream cones.

I like to ride bikes. I like pizza. I like ice cream. I enjoyed my time at the farms. She might have had the intention of making us less annoying. Or getting us out of her way. It was still the nicest thing she ever did.

It doesn’t detract from the horrendous abuse that I experienced at her hands. The huge amounts of trauma.

My adopted mother took me in and saved my life. It doesn’t take away from how I was treat by her. Second class, not real family. Owed.

I would appreciate if you could reply to my messages without replying to Tee at the same time. ❤️

Hi Tee

There is no need to defend Anita from me. There is no enemy. Only misunderstanding. ❤️

I was referring to the past when Anita had mentioned that her mother took specific care of her during illnesses.

I feel like you may have misunderstood my words. Language is imperfect and I was writing at 4am. 😊

It wasn’t my intention to suggest that Anita’s mother was just a tired, stressed single parent or that she was a good and caring mother. I’m not really sure how this was misunderstood considering I openly referenced the copious amounts of abuse? ❤️

I simply meant that she was a tired and stressed single parent and she (at least part of the time) wanted to live in denial of what she knew deep down and pretend that she was a good one.

Abusers don’t tend to operate with clear cut logic. They have their own tangled mental loopholes.

My experience with these kinds of people is that they have multiple modes. Sadistic. Narcissistic. Only a small fraction of the time they might connect fully with acknowledging the pain of the harm they cause.

I’m sorry, I’m confused? I don’t really understand where you feel like I was suggesting to have empathy with child abuse? ❤️