Hi Tommy

That’s so cool! Your daughter is studying to be a teacher. I’m sure she’s going to have a great time with it. Wow she’s completed community college and is moving onto the next college. Amazing! I love how much of a proud dad you are. 😄

A disagreement about who does more work? It sounds like you both do a lot and are very tired. I think that’s why such disagreements come about, at least in my experience. Aww I can tell how much you love your wife letting her “win” the disagreement. 🩵

You are right, relationships are not always smooth sailing. I learned to see disagreements as an imperfect attempt to connect. We can’t be perfect all the time. I hope things are going better now? 🩵

My son is starting to get a bit chattier. So that’s nice. 🙂 Fire trucks and tractors on the brain. 🚒 🚜 🧠 😂 He’s doing really well with counting and his abcs. Now it’s summer he’s not getting ill as much which is great. And your tip about washing hands as soon as you get in the house really did help.

We visited a nursery recently. His back up nursery start date is November. His other nursery delayed his start date until August. The back up nursery has a quiet room, so I’m happy for him to go to either. He’s pretty noise sensitive. I just didn’t want him to be tortured going to a nursery which is loud and doesn’t have any options for dealing with it. It would be a shame for him to have to wear ear defenders all the time.

Best wishes to you and your family, as always! 🩵

Hi Roberta

I agree with you. Suffering can be lessened. I think the difficulty is when there are serious life altering changes. It can take time for people to adjust and make peace with it. In some cases, things can get very difficult. 🩵

I have a friend who is dying slowly and painfully. It is not easy for his wife either. She is taking care of him and her disabled adult son as well.

Another friend just took care of her father in law with dementia who finally passed away when he could no longer swallow. She has a severely disabled son she’s looking after, a young adult who is going through some serious issues.

Life is harder at some times than others. 🩵

Hi Robin

I’m sorry to hear that things broke down with your partner of two years. That’s really hard. 🩵

People make mistakes and you have done your best and tried to apologize. Nothing else to do. But I will say, please don’t blame yourself too much because as you say he is dealing with a lot of other stress. Maybe he will reach out in time when his life calms down. Don’t blame yourself for his silence. 🩵

I realize that this might not be helpful because you are trying to move on and heal. Which I agree is a good idea. You are doing all of the right things. Your pain is valid. 🩵

It sounds like with all of the stress in his life he might have dropped the ball with you a bit? You deserve to be a priority too. I hope your dates go well and you meet someone who is nice and able to be present for a relationship. 🩵

Hi June

Well as I said before, I trained my own. I had one dog that was trained and one dog that wasn’t. Then when my pet dog died and the trained one was getting old, I got a new puppy and I trained it to be his replacement.

Some dogs aren’t suited to it. That’s why one dog was a pet and one was trained before. She showed no interest, but her brother showed an interest in helping, so I encouraged him to help.

He could detect when I was having a PTSD episode. I often am a bit resistant to help when I’m having an episode, but he would not be deterred by me asking him to go away and keep trying to lick my face and cuddle me. He always stayed by my side. It was comforting.

I don’t know about the process with a landlord because I’ve always selected apartments that are pet friendly.

I will say that I know taking ESA dogs places that if you plan to do that you should get a traditional breed used for these things and a proper ESA harness. It’s expected for their behaviour to be flawless in public.

I know someone who trained their own seeing eye dog as well because getting the official one is extremely expensive. Much cheaper to train your own. I think you do need to be experienced with training though to do these kinds of things.

Good luck figuring things out! If you have any other thoughts or questions please feel free to share. 🩵

Hi @Tee

Thinking of you! Thank you for understanding it’s been crazy busy. 🩵

You raise a lot of good points. Yes, I agree with you. A parent functions as a way to soothe their child’s nervous system because they lack the resources to do it themselves, whereas adults are responsible for their own emotions.

Obviously, if an adult loses their temper it’s important to set boundaries.

You raise a good point about enduring bad behaviour. I think it’s complicated.

There aren’t a lot of truly healthy people in the world who can maintain good behaviour even under significant levels of stress.

Alongside the healthy people you have people who can express healthy behaviours most of the time, but make mistakes when they are extremely stressed.

It’s very much personal choice at what point do you need to draw the line. Does the good outweigh the bad?

I think it’s really important to communicate difficulties and understand whether or not people are willing to work on issues. But not just willing, actively working on it because you don’t want to be in a position where people say the right thing but don’t actually make an effort to change behaviours. Change can take some time though, because it’s not an easy process. It’s also important to have realistic expectations.

What do you think? 🩵

Oh and SereneWolf left a message for you.

Congratulations on the new job SereneWolf! 🩵

Hi Mark

I would say yes, with caveats. You have to be able to take care of them which is a pretty big commitment. 🩵

I’ve found it really helpful. Plus, doggy people are generally friendly. So it can definitely help with socialising as well.

My dog was really great at noticing when I’m having anxiety attacks and comforting me.

I wouldn’t know about how to get one. I just trained my own. 🩵

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask! 🩵

Hi Rich

Wow what a heartwarming message! Congratulations on all of your hard work paying off and becoming a therapist. I’m sure you’re a great one. Excellent vibes! 😄 🩵

Dear Anita

Oh no! Peeing on the bed and chewing medication bottles… Bogart is having way too much fun. Is he okay after the medication bottle incident? How did it happen? Did he pee on the bed when you went out? 🤍

If it helps, I had a cat who would poop on my pillow when she was mad at me or ill. 😂

I’m sorry to hear you no longer visit the tap room. Do you want to talk about it? I hope that you find a new place to socialise soon. 🤍

I don’t know if this would be something you’re interested in, but you can get waterproof mattress protectors. Hopefully he won’t do it again. You did the right thing getting the enzyme cleaning solution! 🤍

It seems like you’re uncomfortable with the forum being slower? I think things will be okay. They just have their ups and downs.

Sorry I’ve been quiet, my studying has finally slowed down again thank goodness. And a stressful period is over. July or November it looks like for my son starting nursery. He has a back up nursery I’m visiting for the first time tomorrow. 🤍