Hi Tee

Always happy to talk to you too! ❤️

No, not at all. It wasn’t you. I was just reflecting on some of the ways I’m not there for myself as much as I am for others and processing those feelings.

Yes, I would agree. I do need to work on self-compassion still. I’m trying my best. 😊

Ah well, I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase saving face before. I think it’s basically about communicating with people without wounding their ego. There are some great techniques out there for when people disagree.

It’s basically validating how you can see why they have a perspective. Giving an example about how you or someone you know might have had a similar perspective. And then describe how you or someone you know came to change their perspective.

I think I’m going to write a post about belonging. ❤️

Thank you, I’ve found all of the conversations very insightful too. 😊

Hi Miss Duchess

Cool! Do you have any plans for your birthday?

You are right, it can feel harder to connect with people when there is nothing in common.

I’m sorry you feel excluded. ❤️

I’m glad that despite the pain of the past, you can see the silver lining in that it helps you to appreciate the good people you met in life. I feel like sometimes that is the way of life. Contrasting experiences help us to cherish the good experiences we do have.

That sounds understandable to still feel a bit awkward with it being your second session. How was the choir experience itself? Do you like singing?

I think you’re doing really well putting yourself out there! Already you have done a lot. You are determined. Keep at it! You deserve to find people that you connect with. ❤️

Hi Tee

Sorry, at first I didn’t realise that you’d left a message here. Then I had to process some emotions to figure out what to say. ❤️

I try my best, but it isn’t easy. Especially in person. Negative thoughts, fears can get in the way. It is hard work to try and stay calm.

That is kind of you to say. I’m glad that it’s been helping. 😊

I think being aware of when we’re not in our normal state of mind is half the battle.

Thanks. I’ve been learning from you too. I think you’re right in that I do let things lie too much sometimes. It is hard to balance. You inspired me to try for myself, as much as I try for other people. Perhaps give some people less? ❤️

I am honestly still learning and still make mistakes. Sometimes I retreat to process and understand my feelings. Figure out the best way to handle a situation?

I have been learning recently about saving face. It led to learning about some interesting communication techniques. I’ve also been learning about belonging. I think anxiety gets in my way a lot.

How are you doing? ❤️

I’m having fun foraging these days. I found an apple tree that is very similar to granny smith apples, but smaller. 🍏

The wild raspberries are much sweeter than store bought and brighter in colour. 😋

Sadly, the blackberry season is ending. I’m curious to try acorns for the first time. I collected some but haven’t prepared them yet because my son got stomach flu. 🤢

Poor thing! ❤️

It is lucky that the sunshine has been sticking around even though autumn is here. Every day is a bonus. 🍂 ☀️

Hi Lucidity

No, it is not silly at all! I totally understand the struggle with regulating anxiety. It is human nature to revert to old habits in times of stress. I feel like it takes some time to understand things in our heart that we know in our mind. That you know what you want in your mind, it is only a matter of time until your heart catches up too. These things are complicated and a journey. It’s important to give yourself grace. It’s okay to be human and make mistakes. All you have to do is try your best and that is good enough. ❤️

Bless your soul! Good luck trying it out. ❤️

I think I’m lucky in that my core stress response is to shut down and my instinct is to leave the situation. I have to force myself to stay in a stressful situation. Because my instinct is to take breaks, it does help me to emotionally regulate. People who have different childhood habits might find that difficult to navigate. I’m afraid that I don’t have any advice for that one.

It was something that I had to unpick to get back to this core stress response. My adopted family taught me to engage in conflict because they believed that it showed that you care if you are passionate and upset.

I think a fear of rejection was the thing that was holding me back the most from being able to connect with my empathy during conflict. What if I put myself out there, do all of the right things and it still doesn’t work out?

Then one day I realised that I was only upset because I felt rejected. And if I’m already rejected there is nothing to fear because it has already happened. I can stay true to myself and if things don’t work out, I can say that I tried and give myself comfort knowing that I did my best. ❤️