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AlessaParticipantHappy New Year! 🎇 🎆
Roberta, Tee, James and everyone else as well. 🩵 🩵 🩵
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Happy New Year! 🤍
I’m sure that you and Bogart are going to have lots of amazing adventures together. 😊
I’m glad to hear that you’re starting to feel better. Just in time. 🤍
Oh good! I’m glad you both went out for some fun. Well he almost made it. Hopefully next time the full way. We believe in you Bogart! 🤞 😅 🤍
AlessaParticipantHi Peter
Happy New Year! 🎆 🎇 🩵
Loving your poetry as always. 😊
Hmm a letter to myself this year. All I can do is try my best and try to take it easy. A conundrum! Spend more time meditating when I can.
By this time next year, my son will be in a new stage of life with a nursery. I hope that he enjoys it and makes some friends.
I guess, it seems like there might be some new health issues for me. I’m hoping for stupid, easy or mid tier.
I’ll be in the final year of my bachelor’s. Try to keep my grades up, so I can do a masters, if I want to later on.
It is just the stage of my life. 🩵
AlessaParticipantHi Confused
Well, you trusted her enough to share some difficult feelings you were exploring. 🩵
Have you told her you shared some things with her whilst you were anxious that you didn’t mean? 🩵
The difficulty being that a lot of negativity can be hurtful in relationships. There is a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions during disagreements and 20:1 positive to negative interactions outside of conflict that is present in healthy relationships.
Relationships can heal from difficulties and grow stronger if you put the effort in. So try to relax and focus on positive interactions now that you’ve got some things off your chest. 🩵
It does sound like you have some anxiety, but a lot of the time our negative thoughts are not true. So it is about staying calm and letting the feeling and thoughts pass without picking at them.
Perhaps there is a feeling that if you go over things that you might be able to fix something? Or try to stop something bad from happening?
What I learned though from my own experiences, is that it only causes suffering in advance as well as any future suffering. It is called catastrophising. 🩵
The more important something seems, the more likely you are to worry about it. So the trick is to deprioritise how important it is. Ah well. Don’t have to fix things today all at once. It will sort itself out in time, with a bit of positive energy. 🩵
AlessaParticipantHi Everyone
Confucius was sad near the end of his life. A disciple came by to cheer him up, singing and playing music. “Why are you so happy?” Confucius said.
“You showed me that there are miracles everywhere. What is not to be happy about?” Explained the disciple.
“Yes, I did say that in the past. Here is what I know to be true now. There is also suffering everywhere in the world and I cannot change it. Should the good be abandoned because of the suffering? What would be the point in that?” Replied Confucius.
So they played music and sang together. 🩵 🙏
AlessaParticipantHow can you help people you don’t even know? 🩵
AlessaParticipantHi James
Yes, like I said. I am familiar with the miracle of breathing. No point being proven. Keep philosophising. You don’t know me at all. So who are you talking to really? 🩵
AlessaParticipantHi James
You can philosophise all you want.
Miracles are not news to me. There is no point being proven. 🩵
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
I’m glad to hear the new cable came quickly and that you’re able to use a computer again! I’m sorry to hear that you’re still ill. I hope it passes quickly and you feel better soon. 🤒 🤍
Sorry I was quiet yesterday. I actually fell asleep. 😴 My son slept through the night for the first time in ages though, so I’m better rested today. Hopefully, this continues. 🤍
I got my medication this evening. Thankfully. 😊
Oh goodness your list of things Bogart chewed on reminded me of even more things that had been eaten. 😂
Bra straps… so many bra straps. Just the straps, making it useless. I ended up changing to sports bras because they have thicker straps. 😂
Not to fear, the chewing will not last forever. Although it might feel like it. 🤍
I can understand why you would feel bad scolding him. Here is what actually helped me understand it. Dogs understand tone more than language. So it is the tone that defines a boundary for them. You are just saying no in their language, a way that they understand. It helps them to know what they are and aren’t allowed to do. Funnily enough, I learned this in a parenting class. As you said, young children are similar. 🤍
AlessaParticipantHi James
I think that people have different perspectives on this.
A lot of people have been through some pretty challenging abuse here.
I understand what you’re trying to get at. But I don’t necessary agree. 🩵
If you have a child, they bite you, they slap you, keep you up all night. Even a teenager shouting and swearing or hitting. Developmentally appropriate. But when we are adults, we are supposed to manage our emotions and behaviour because we understand that these things are harmful to others.
It is sad that adults don’t receive the same unconditional love that children do. But it also serves a purpose. It protects people from harm.
Is intentionally behaving in ways that are triggering to people who have PTSD an expression of love? Or is it causing unnecessary harm?
Calling Anita the devil was harsh and the timing was poor. She was already having a bad day. 🩵
Judging what you think is best for people isn’t necessarily appropriate all the time. It is easy to misjudge things and mistakes. It helpful to try and understand others perspectives. 🩵
Personally, I don’t like to play games or argue.
AlessaParticipantYes! Wishing you and your family a Happy New Year too. May it bring many blessings. 🩵 🎆
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Thanks for sharing the story! You are right, it is easy for people to be hurt even when you are trying to be kind. 🩵
I have always struggled with things like that. I’m learning that it helpful to try to understand others perspectives to avoid these faux pas. But even then all we can do is try our best and of course stay calm and try to take care of others if we accidentally hurt their feelings. 🩵
Thinking about how to do this without speech for the story. I guess pay attention to body language? It is said that we mostly communicate through body language and not our words. Where does that leave us writing online? 🩵
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Oh good! I hope it comes quickly. 🤍
Yes, it is a lot dog proofing, especially since it is a first. You will get there and they will still find new things to chew on! 🤍
To be honest, that is just modern life. Wires exist. My pup chewed the plug off a brand new electric blanket rendering the whole thing useless. Just have to unplug things when you are done with them. It’s all you can do. And scold whenever they go near them. For safety. 🤍
A list of different things that my pups over the years have chewed on. I hope it entertains! A passport, a wallet, glasses, shoes, slippers, a tube of medicine that was literally put down for one minute (required an immediate vet visit), loose flooring, a couch, cushions, my sons toys.
They are like babies exploring the world by putting things in their mouth for a while, but they do get the hang of it in time. 🤍
My son has been sleeping badly for about a month because he has been sick. Therefore, I sleep badly. 😂
I’m trying to get him to settle back into a routine now he’s feeling better. 🤍
AlessaParticipantDear Anita
Oh no! Bogart! I hope that a power cable will be easier to replace? He is lucky that he didn’t get electrocuted if it was plugged in? What bad luck both computers are down at the same time!!!! 🤍 🤍 🤍
AlessaParticipantHi Squiggly Pop
Wow, so you are in limbo not just in dating, but in life? 🩵
Since Covid changed your plans and led you back home, perhaps it might be time for you to dream up some new plans? It sounds like you don’t really want to settle where you are? No wonder you feel lonely. Even with dating, since you don’t really plan on sticking around. It adds an extra layer of tension. If you did find something, you might have to stay or break up, with only a slim chance of success.
It is natural to want to find your person. Not only your person, but build your life in a way that makes you happy. 🩵
At the moment, this escapist memory is the only kind of link to your dream to a life elsewhere. Not to mention, the romantic and exciting nature of a holiday romance. It is free of all of the current pitfalls in your life. A chance of a dream that you long for, which has been closed to you. How frustrating!
I wonder, what it is about your home that you don’t enjoy? 🩵
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 