Hi Scotty

My friend is a retired nurse. She has a husband with dementia and various other health issues. She has a disabled adult son. She takes care of them both and she had a neighbour who was deaf, blind and bed ridden, the state did not provide for her, nor did her family. My friend did.

Another friend cared for her grandmother with dementia. Studied whilst doing so. Her grandmother choked her and hit her, calling her names. Not the same woman she loved, but her memory was honoured.

Life is hard for a lot of people.

Can you do choose yourself without causing suffering? 🩵

People do what you hope one day someone would do for you. You just haven’t met the person who will do it for you yet. 🩵

I think peace, true peace is being able to cope in any situation, even hard ones.

That being said, should you stay in them forever? No. It is just a chapter in life. If the resources are there, it is not wrong to choose yourself when you need it. 🩵

Hi Stephanie

That’s great to hear that everything is okay regarding the audit. 😊 It really sounds like nit picking on her part then. You’ve been here longer than the director has! The problem isn’t you, it’s her. Maybe she just feels a bit threatened by you doing a good job and feels a need to take you down a peg or two to gain some “authority” as a newcomer?

Good luck with the HR investigation! Hopefully they rein her in a bit. Sounds like she’s making a name for herself already. 😂

For sure, memory is a pain in the ass sometimes and can affect us in strange ways. I’m so sorry that you were made to feel stupid by someone you trusted and cared about. I think when it’s someone like that it really cuts deep. Definitely, not true though. I don’t understand why some people are so cruel. Bad coping mechanisms I guess, but still not fair to the people around them! 🩵

I’m sorry to hear your health has been really rough recently. It is crazy how much chronic stress can do. I hope you get some rest and tlc. You deserve it. 🩵

Hi James

I think words do matter, because words are actions too and people have feelings. Saying words don’t matter, is like saying people don’t matter. A good friend of mine, much wiser than me, taught me to be more gentle with people’s feelings. I think he’s doing something right, so I’m not going to second guess his methods. 😊 🩵

Hi Sumit

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem! 🙏 🩵

Hi ScottyDye

I hear how tough and frustrating it is. Your situation is not easy. Caring for loved ones with dementia is harrowing even without dealing with other difficult family members. 🩵

It sounds like you are the responsible one. I’d suggest, that you don’t have a responsibility to chip in for other able bodied adults when things are tight. If they skip a meal, they will be okay. You are providing quality care for your grandma of extraordinary worth. Put the money instead towards the electricity and turn on a light.

I understand the desire to leave. But what do you think would happen to your grandma without you there? If you really feel like you can’t continue, maybe test it first for a short period to see what happens.

You will not forgive yourself if her care is compromised. You are a good person, clearly and you’re aware that she cannot fend for herself.

Life is difficult sometimes. There is a cost for doing the right thing. Other family members being butts the cost. And as difficult as they are they did try to look out for you by giving you a place to stay when your mental health was worse.

So I would say do your best to ignore their behaviour. It is nothing to do with you or your worth. 🩵

Does your grandma have a wheelchair? Is it possible to take her for a walk or is she too unstable? 🩵

How was your relationship with your grandmother before her dementia?

Hi ScottyDye

Wow, thanks for sharing your story. You’ve been through so much. 🩵 Well done on pulling yourself through it, it’s not an easy thing to do. Entirely down to your drive and strength of character. I like the excellent advice you shared on the other thread too. 😊

I think it’s a shame that the difficulties of weed use are not more widely known, because a lot of people think weed is harmless.

Looking forward to hearing more from you! 🩵

Hi everyone

I notice more and more that my thoughts are dictated by my body. Low on neurotransmitters = negativity. Higher amounts = positivity. The mind claims ownership of thoughts, as if it created them, instead of reacting to changes in the body and environment. 🩵

My friend has a non-verbal autistic son in his teens. All of a sudden he started becoming extremely moody and misbehaving. It took a while to get to the source of the problem because he couldn’t tell anyone. He was in pain.

I also wanted to share a new gratitude technique I learned. It’s about acknowledging privilege whilst suffering. Actively looking for the silver lining. ☀️

Having a tough time that is temporary? At least I get to learn from it. A sick child. At least he is still here. It will not last forever. A rough time financially? It forces you to be creative and consider what you value. And be thankful for what you do have. Some people have even less. Some children die. Some people might not have a family to advocate hard for them. 🙏

Maybe you could ask some members of your church to set you up with someone for a date?