Hi Tee

Yes, I’m a fan of do unto others as well. 😊 I think people have a lot of difficulty with love thy neighbour too, possibly because they have difficulties with loving themselves?

Trauma does make things complicated. One of the hardest things is that once the experience is over it still continues in the mind.

I do have boundaries and stand up for myself. It is just that I don’t try as hard for myself as for other people. Boundaries and standing up for myself is a bare minimum. As you suggested before, cutting back on the effort I put into people who don’t put effort into me. The energy that I spend elsewhere could be spent on me.

I think I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. Being too hard on people and going too easy on them. It is hard to find a balance.

Sorry I’m falling asleep. ❤️ 😴

Hi Q

I hear you. The joy and the difficulties. You do deserve to have someone who is there for you as much as you are there for them. You can also be that person for yourself. Don’t forget to look after you whilst you’re looking after others. You deserve that too! ❤️

Thanks so much everyone. 🙏 He was a good boy. ❤️

Very well said Peter! 😊 ❤️

I benefitted from the conversation between you both actually. 😊

Hi Tommy

You haven’t done anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. ❤️

James doesn’t seem hurt by it?

There is truth in all perspectives. ❤️

James will be James, Tommy will be Tommy. All are welcome here. You are both loved and appreciated. ❤️

Hi Everyone

I have a perspective if it is okay to share?

Perhaps if we don’t understand something it would be beneficial to ask questions? React with curiosity instead of fear? Or we can just say oh well it is something that I don’t understand right now, that happens sometimes in life. 🤷‍♀️

This place is not just for trauma, it is also for seekers. It is called TinyBudda.

Bear in mind that James is on his own thread. He is not going around on other people’s threads saying these ideas. They are only for the people interested in actively seeking them out. If they are not your cup of tea no one has to read them.

We think of emotions as if they are linked to the mind. But I noticed recently that they are a function of the body.

Historically, people have searched for threat because we needed to protect ourselves from predators. Like animals we needed to run or fight. The body has functions that help us to do this helping us to run faster, react more quickly or fight harder when we are in danger.

For people who have sensitive nervous system, say because of trauma stress can easily kick that mechanism into action. We think during these times planning for an emergency worst case scenario. It is what the body demands. But often there is no threat anymore. With C-PTSD, mostly just memories.

There are lots ways to calm the nervous system when stress triggers it. Breathing exercises. Singing. Walking. Shaking your body. Cold water. Stretching, massaging the head, neck and feet. Managing our basic needs helps us to regulate.

❤️

Hi Tee

Always happy to talk to you too! ❤️

No, not at all. It wasn’t you. I was just reflecting on some of the ways I’m not there for myself as much as I am for others and processing those feelings.

Yes, I would agree. I do need to work on self-compassion still. I’m trying my best. 😊

Ah well, I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase saving face before. I think it’s basically about communicating with people without wounding their ego. There are some great techniques out there for when people disagree.

It’s basically validating how you can see why they have a perspective. Giving an example about how you or someone you know might have had a similar perspective. And then describe how you or someone you know came to change their perspective.

I think I’m going to write a post about belonging. ❤️

Thank you, I’ve found all of the conversations very insightful too. 😊