Hi Tea

How does meeting someone happen organically? Honestly, it starts as friendship. So that would mean spending time with men somehow. A hobby group or some kind of activity? Another option is parties, but I expect you might find that not to your liking because a lot of people are drunk and hook up at parties.

Honestly, this is the truth because it’s always how I’ve dated. I don’t like the apps and I’m in my 30s.

I wouldn’t worry too much about dating. You have plenty of time. Some people settle. You’re not a settler. You are after quality and that takes time. Not to mention, work and studying are far more important than a boyfriend. No offence. You sound like you are very busy. 😊

It’s okay to miss having a partner though. It is nice. And I can understand the feeling of missing out. But truly you aren’t, because you wouldn’t want to be with someone you aren’t compatible with. A partner should add to your life, not detract from it.

You sound like someone who is very self aware. I love how you have explored and become more confident in yourself.

I can understand being torn between travelling and family. I had that desire too. I’m sure you’ll settle on a decision that feels right for you. There are no wrong answers. ❤️

Hi CinCin

I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties with feeling left out. It seems complicated. It seems like you have a desire to be invited, but not necessarily to go to these events. Am I misunderstanding this?

If you truly wanted to go to these nights out. You could have just said “I’d like to come along. Is that okay?” Are there reasons why you didn’t do that?

You have some concerns about the dynamics of this trip. Does that mean that your concerns aren’t solely due to practical limitations of attending?

Wanting to be invited is fair, but people often stop asking if someone says no though or doesn’t show interest. It might be helpful to make an arrangement with them where if you feel like going it is okay for you to go along without them asking. Just having that clarity of an unconditional invitation at all times when your wife is invited might make you feel better? This is usually implied in my experience.

Be aware that if you are asking for this it might be considered rude, if you don’t go on the trip as you would be asking to be included, be included and be rejecting them.

It is worth considering if you actually want to go on the trip or not.

Otherwise, why don’t you ask your wife if she wants you to come on the trip? You could express your concerns to her that when you don’t get an invitation, it makes you worry that people don’t want you there. You could express that you don’t always want to go, but sometimes you do and it is nice to be invited and included in chats, so you can make a decision. It’s certainly okay to have a conversation with your wife about this.

Or is it the friend that you are more worried about, as opposed to your wife? Do you worry that your friend doesn’t want you there?

Hi Steve

Autists are not narcissists. They are capable of empathy, but have theory of mind deficits which means that they have difficulty understanding others unique experiences, thoughts and feelings. They can learn to understand these things if they have the interest, teaching aids and cognitive skills. What this means, is that there tends to be an assumption that other people feel similarly to their own experiences.

Narcissism is defined by a lack of empathy.

The two may appear similar, but are ultimately different and have different causes.

Hi Everyone

I guess, I’m just practical and find politics distasteful. There is a global recession looming and war is used to prop up economies and compete for resources. I wish we could find a better way, perhaps we will in time? Who knows, technology may even lead us there? It will lead to some pretty radical changes in society for sure. I simply am not in a position of power to change things, so I try not to worry about what I can’t change.

I don’t feel a need to fit in. I prefer quality over quantity. Perhaps it is because I moved a lot? The nature of temporary relationships is even beautiful in its own way to me. I appreciate meeting new people and value even the limited time that I spend with people that touch my life. We are all busy living our own lives, caring for our loved ones and trying to survive. That some people leave our lives and some people stay makes those who we choose to spend time with even more special.

I do enjoy the energy of concerts. It is nice being in a place where everyone is happy and enjoying music together.

I do believe in the value of human connection. Peter is right, there is no replacing it. AI doesn’t truly care. It is just an illusion.

I noticed recently that AI tends to adapt to its user based on their input and I found it a bit disturbing. I hadn’t realised that before. It was very clear to me because I don’t use it very often and when I do use it I give very basic commands. I asked a question and it started to use this new question in the feedback to commands input later on.

It confirmed my suspicions. Upon research, AI is used as a mirror. It doesn’t challenge its user unless asked to and has a tendency to only present things that the user wants to hear creating bias.

I might be the odd duck here, but I appreciate reading both of your perspectives and care because you are both very special people who I learn a lot from. ❤️ ❤️

Hi Anita

Now they are trying self service checkouts. Where you scan things and put them on a scale to be weighed and there is often a camera to prevent theft. You have to press options on a screen.

Most new cards do contactless. So all you do is tap it against the card reader. But to use that feature you have to put the card into the box with the keypad and put the pin number in then press the enter or green button. After you do that once you can use contactless. Occasionally they do make you enter the pin again as a safety measure.

At a register the cashier will often direct you where to put your card if it looks like you’re struggling because there are so many different types of card readers. There is usually a slot to pop your card in somewhere. I always indicate whether I’m paying by card or cash to the cashier, because they have to turn the card reader on. If you struggle with the card reader, give your card to the cashier. They are used to helping. 😊

I appreciate that you’re a very compassionate person and very thoughtful about your politics. Not everyone is so kind. ❤️

Bless well you can’t be too careful in this world. It is sensible not to hitchhike. I’m glad you stay safe. It’s good that you enjoy walking too.

It could be nice for you to get some new clothes, if you’re interested there are so many different styles and options nowadays. It is a form of self-expression for many.

I’m impressed that you manage to get by without money. You must be a very resourceful person. ❤️

Thinking of you!

Hi Anita

I feel badly for all of the people (and their loved ones) involved in the ongoing conflicts with Israel. I fear this will not be the end.

Governments are flawed all over the world, but it is truly the people that suffer when wars break out. No one deserves to die so that the rich can make even money by selling weapons.

Hi Anita

It sounds like you have so much weighing on you at the moment. Even one of the issues is a lot to deal with.

Very true, sometimes it feels like being an adult we are expected to cope with more and more and more. It can be very overwhelming. Yet, somehow we are expected to pretend that we are all fine through our difficulties? Square it away into little boxes and not think about it until we have to, pretending that it doesn’t exist? Or someone says try feeling your feelings for 15 minutes a day?

I cannot imagine what it is like to endure what you are currently going through. You might not see it, but you have a lot of strength. I am praying for you, as well as your family. ❤️

I’m glad that you have this space to explore, to feel, to reach out.

Your mother may not have seen you, but plenty of people here have. You are a good and special person with a big heart. I love seeing you open up. ❤️