Hi James

Well, I can’t control his DNA. I was lucky that he was born healthy. I can help his body to function. Ensure he has a good sleep routine, a healthy diet, make sure he stays hydrated, provide opportunities for exercise and try to keep his stress low. 🩵

He still gets sick once or twice a month. Fortunately, nothing too serious.

I’m trying to nurture the development of his personality. I’ve socialised him in baby classes, since he doesn’t have siblings. I’m teaching him about feelings and that others have different experiences. I taught him to be active because research shows that confidence comes from their physical ability for toddlers. Explaining the reasons why he can’t do something and validating his emotions as research suggests. I’m teaching him techniques for communicating and managing his emotions, encouraging autonomy. As research suggests teaching him values about hard work, effort and perseverance. Only time will tell the outcome. So far he is a sweet and friendly boy who isn’t afraid to let you know what he wants or doesn’t want. 🩵

I don’t agree that some have a weak personality and some have a strong one. There are so many factors involved. Upbringing, the nature of the trauma and severity. Neurodivergence and brain damage.

Yes, emotional contagion is a factor. But children also have their own emotions.

Regarding my feelings about nursery, yes it is related to my trauma. He isn’t worrying about any of this. He might have feelings about it once he is actually in nursery and separated from me. I will have to hide my feelings to try and help him be comfortable.

The truth of life is that in my country 1 in 6 children are sexually abused, mostly by people they know. He cannot live his life never trusting. So it is down to chance. 🩵

Hi James

I’m sorry, I don’t understand. I’m very literal. Having saved my son’s life many times over at this point, tidying to prevent harm. Taking care to consider his feelings. Protecting him from conflict. 🩵

On a practical level, people make choices. These are things that must be done, so I do them. 🩵

Hi Anita

Thanks for the study! I will be okay. My son is just starting nursery soon. I am overthinking it and being silly. I liked the ocean imagery. 🤍

I’m glad to hear that you are feeling calmer today. Enjoy your break from the topic. 🤍

Yes, I switched to blue hearts for you. 😊 I don’t like making mistakes. The white ones are harder for me to see when I’m tired. I always have the brightness off on my phone because I have very sensitive eyes. I’m not good with subtle colours. Navy and black, look the same to me. Grey and white… With the brightness off everything is mostly grey for me. It is easier to see when I’m less tired. 🤍

I hope using a different colour in general will prevent mistakes with the red ones. At least even if I forget, at least the colour will be blue and not red. 🤍🤍🤍

Hi James

Thank you for explaining. It helps to connect the senses, pain, gratitude and helping. Gratitude and helping are my language. 🩵

And yes, I have been worrying about the future with my child. He will start to make his own way in the world and I won’t be able to protect him. He will go through suffering. As a parent, this doesn’t sit right with me. I am used to suffering. I would not want him to suffer. Maybe this comes from a deep seated wish to erase the suffering I experienced as a child. I don’t want him to suffer as I did. I hope that he suffers much less. No child deserves suffering. 🩵

Thank you for helping! 🩵

Hi Tommy

I don’t think you have ruffled feathers or caused misery. I’m used to men talking. I enjoy having men around on the forum. It’s nice to see. 🩵

Everyone has things that resonate with them and things that don’t? Things they feel drawn to explore and otherwise?

What is complete realised truth? 🩵

Once upon a time I used to feel that my judgement was normal. Until, I realised one day it wasn’t. Sometimes things that we are drawn to change and unfold in their own time. 🩵

Ah well, the likelihood of becoming enlightened in this life is minute for all of us. You are not alone. I’m not a monk, so I don’t worry about that. 😊

Hi James

You raise an interesting point. What is our dress? 👗 I will reflect on that some. 🩵

Immediately, I think pride for me. An unwillingness to not provide for my son to a high standard. Parents are forced into this reality all the time. Losing loved ones. Something else that people are forced into. Attachment. Aversion to suffering. Aversion to conflict. Aversion to being judged. Aversion to loneliness. Normal things. Human things.

I have a question. What if belief in a higher power and fate being in their hands doesn’t provide complete comfort? Of course, it provides some. It is all god’s plan, but I don’t understand it. Part of me still blames god a little for the imprint of suffering his plans have left on me. I suppose we all suffer, it is the human condition. I suffer less than others, that is a blessing. Why must we all suffer? To learn, to love? I don’t know. 🩵

Please ignore the red heart. Habit. I keep forgetting and remembering. I’m still adjusting. 🤍🤍🤍🤍

Hi Thomas

That is okay if you haven’t learned anything new from James yet. You’ve had some very good teachers. ❤️

I suppose despite those experiences, it doesn’t take away the human condition. We all have certain circumstances that colour our natures as well. Whether we like it or not. It just is. ❤️

It seems to me that both minds are needed in life and each serves a purpose? Just my thoughts. ❤️