I think it’s beautiful that you are reclaiming your love for your cultures music. You deserve this freedom! ❤️

You put so much into other people. You deserve that same care and attention too. ❤️

I can understand the concern about difficulties with people.

From my perspective, I feel like being able to overcome difficulties with people is important. There are very few people in life that don’t experience conflict in their relationships. It is definitely a hard thing to navigate with PTSD though.

It is not easy at all with everything you have been through. I would imagine that trust can be difficult? I know it is for me.

Hi Everyone

That is a really beautiful insight Roberta! ❤️

I try to follow what people communicate that they are comfortable with. If someone asks for help in a specific way, I give it within reason.

I find it much easier to help people I know personally because I understand their personalities and needs. It is difficult with strangers because it is impossible to know how they will react. Everyone is different.

Hi Adalie

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ghosted after being intimate with someone you liked from school. It isn’t an easy thing. ❤️

Dating these days is really tough. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. This is sadly a common occurrence for many people.

Do you find yourself noticing that he is online on social media and having these worries?

Do you have any thoughts about whether you would like to block him or send him a message? Or anything?

Hi Arie

I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties with your family. These things are not easy.

Your family sounds complicated.

I’m glad that the Easter thing went ok – or as well as can be expected. It sounded very awkward to me.

I find it odd that you are expected to go to things that you don’t really want to go to. Then specifically not invited to things that you show an interest in. It is a lot of mixed signals.

It sounds like the sister in law was being honest with you that it is hard for everyone to do things together because people don’t get along.

My family also took this route of doing separate things for special occasions.

It is difficult because whilst your sister in law might want to reconcile there is still conflict with your brother.

I’m sorry that you are blamed for all of this. Your family sounds very stressful to deal with.

It is kind of you to be open to improving the relationship with the sister in law.

In time, it might be easier for you if you emotionally distance yourself from your family. I know it is hard to stop caring because they are your family though.

I imagine these dramas happen over and over again across the years. It doesn’t sound like they are going to stop.

You are honest about your mistakes. But you are not the only one making mistakes and the way that you are treat isn’t fair.

One thing that helped me is understanding that you can only have a relationship with someone if both of you want it. You don’t need to waste your energy on people who aren’t interested. Save it for the people that care about you. ❤️

I was thinking about a memory you had about your uncle taking you back to your mom when you were sad.

I don’t know if this will help, but the bond is just different for parents.

For children it is a strong biological imperative to demand care from their parents.

For parents, at least from my perspective they are just so busy and have so many responsibilities that they get tired.

If I take a nap or something, my son is so happy to see me. I give him a cuddle and lie to him saying I missed him and dreamt about him every second. I didn’t, but it seems like it would make him happy. Taking time to yourself is a rare commodity with a child.

I think it is extremely difficult for single mothers. I don’t envy them.

I’m sorry that she couldn’t summon the energy for a white lie and a cuddle. She must have been very tired. But it wasn’t your fault.

Hi Yana

I think it depends on the laws in your country.

Also, if there are underage children living with the person.

Violence towards underage children and underage children witnessing domestic violence are particularly at risk.

I don’t know what kind of action social work in your country might take. In mine, families are separated in these cases.

There is very little that can be done about domestic violence towards an adult in my country unless the victim wishes to prosecute. In addition, the victim can often be implicated.

There is very little that can be done here when it comes to suicidal thoughts unless they actually start physically harming themselves.

Hi Yana

That is a really complicated question. 😂

I think it is a matter of perspective, purpose and circumstance. Everyone interprets things differently.

It’s funny that you wrote a message because I was about to write to you here. 😊

Recently, I’ve been working on understanding how other people interpret me. Trying to understand my flaws and weaknesses regarding communication, verbal and non-verbal.

I guess, exploring something similar to what Roberta mentioned with Right Speech. Knowing myself is a part of self-compassion for me. Something that I haven’t paid much attention to for a while.

I care about how people feel and I am at a point in life where my communication and social skills I have are simply not enough to achieve my goals.

I feel like by understanding others emotions and perspectives. Their likes and dislikes, I can improve my communication with them.

I want to be able to overcome difficulties and avoid hurting people whenever possible.

If there is a different way to do things, that might be more appropriate. I am willing to try it.

I’m blunt, literal and straightforward. Sarcastic and teasing – because I enjoy humour. This is great with friends but not so good during conflict.

I have learned to be confrontational when things are difficult, because my instinct is to avoid it like the plague. In conflict, I have a tendency to criticise and blame. I also have a tendency to emotionally dissociate during conflict which people can misinterpret as me not caring. I often turn away and have difficulty looking at people during conflict. I also have no control over my tone. I don’t have the ability to edit my thoughts before I speak. When I am upset that is how the words come out. I have a hard time telling where the stopping point is when people talk and I have memory problems, so I have a tendency to interrupt people.

For me, it is really important to manage my stress and stay calm so I can communicate in a more positive way.

I get overwhelmed when I experience multiple emotions at the same time. I noticed that I have a habit of suppressing anger which is often associated with my communication difficulties.

I never really understood how to process anger in a healthy way. I wasn’t raised like that. How could I?

I often try to ignore my own feelings and needs to try and help others. Then it backfires when I’m stressed out from suppressing my own needs.

When I’m upset, I tend to communicate negative emotions which can be stressful for people. Taking the emotion out of the situation and focusing on the goal can be less stressful.

I’m doing my best to manage these traits. I have found that it has been helpful.

Hi Everyone

What a lovely way to think about these things. ❤️

I have reached some similar conclusions. You are both right, but these are not easy lesson to learn.