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Hi Omyk

What I like about your approach to faith is that you are a man of the world. I get the feeling that you are an open person and don’t judge others struggles. You have the ability to connect with people. I think that is a beautiful approach to religion. ❤️

It is perfectly natural to have these desires and feelings. To grieve them.

Companionship is not shameful. Love and touch are not shameful. It is having a partner in life. Sharing your struggles, supporting each other. It is asking a lot of someone to demand that they go it alone. I know the idea is that you are not alone, to turn to God.

Have you ever had a massage before? I don’t mean anything dirty. But being touch starved is a thing and I seem to remember that your child is getting older, they may not as huggy. Perhaps that might be relaxing? I get the feeling that you don’t have much of a chance to be and have someone take care of you for once. I hear it can be helpful for people who are celibate.

You haven’t failed at all and your thoughts and feelings aren’t sins.

Your values, your thoughts and feelings are from the perspective of a man living in this modern world. You are not a monk living in isolation and times have changed. It may be helpful to honour your own personal values, as well as the values of your religion.

You are a spiritual leader, but still a man, still a father, still a businessman providing for his family. Trying to figure out your place in the world. Your heart is heavy and full, it not a sin to want to share it.

You don’t have to decide today, or tomorrow, or the day after, etc. When you are ready you will know.

You are perfect as you are and God loves you. ❤️🙏

I can see that you are someone who tries their best every day. Your best is always good enough.

Hi Anita

I didn’t want to overcommit and say that I would get back to you now incase I wasn’t able to and disappointed you.

It looks like a message I wrote to you got lost somehow. I was ill, so maybe I forgot to post it. I’m sorry it got lost along the way. I don’t even remember what it was now. 😅

It seems like you want to communicate in a different way?

I’m a practical person. I love advice, I go around asking people for their opinions and advice all of the time. I feel no shame in it.

And I’m British, there are just ways that things are done here with empathy and sympathy. It isn’t meant to patronise in any way. It is a way to show care.

I’m sorry and don’t mean to offend in any way. I’m quite happy to find a new way of communicating that works for you though. Please let me know when I’m doing something helpful or unhelpful.

I do care, always. ❤️

I’m not afraid of being alone though. I’m used to it. Made peace with it. The reality of life sometimes. Being there for myself is the best thing I can do to remedy that.

It is nice to connect with others though. It makes me feel cared about and I enjoy learning about others interests, experiences and perspectives.

I value your perspective, as well as everyone else’s here. ❤️

I do wish that we could connect a bit more. But I understand that these things take time and that we are two different people with two different needs and sometimes life gets in the way.

Take care, my friend ❤️

Hi WeebFloppa

It seems that during your months long relationship you’ve both experienced a lot of stress. First the difficulties with disagreements. And related to how you feel about the relationship. Now considering whether or not to break up. It seems like you both haven’t really had a break and a chance to relax and just be.

So your girlfriend has grown and is no longer doing the things that bothered you during the earlier difficulties. Those times are still very distressing to think about. Do you sometimes feel afraid when she gets emotional that past difficulties might reoccur?

I’m guessing that you are both on the younger side?

When you aren’t dating, do you find that you experience anxiety at all?

It seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself at the moment. You need an opportunity to breathe and not stress about the relationship.

If are younger, I wouldn’t worry about love right now. Just try and have fun.

Not to mention, relationship difficulties often take time to heal from.

There are a lot of things that you do enjoy about her. If you do keep giving things a shot tell her about the good things you like about her. Take turns doing things the other person likes. Or just normal date activities. Focusing on positive things you may find yourself enjoying the relationship more. You’ve been giving her a lot of negative feedback, it is understandable that she is not super fun to be around right now. The positive focus, not adding stress will help you both to relax.

Hi With Feathers

Seven years is a long time. It’s understandable not to get past the grief immediately, especially with the shock of how it ended.

Are there things that you usually do to take care of yourself that comfort you? Try to sleep, if you can and eat regularly to help regulate your emotions.

Just keep taking things one day at a time and remember your own words on bad days. Some days are fine. It will get easier in time. ❤️

Hi Honesty

I’m so sorry that you’ve lost people you were close to because of oversharing. That is so awful. ❤️

I think it depends on how comfortable people are with emotional topics. Some people are, some people aren’t. There are appropriate ways to discuss things without triggering people or overwhelming them. That being said, a lot of people are uncomfortable with emotion and supporting others. The people who are okay with it are rare. But for the people who are okay with these things, with appropriate sharing it’s not harmful.

That is not to say I don’t have flashbacks to my own experiences reading some things here because I sometimes do. But not avoiding triggers is important to me. I have to take that experience in my stride.

I guess it is like anything else an issue of consent.