Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
I know that it hurts to be ignored. It is definitely not that you are unimportant. She is having some personal issues right now and needs a bit of time. ❤️
You are very important dear friend and I wish that I had more of an opinion about koans. ❤️
I would love to talk more. But I understand if you don’t feel up for it because things are a bit awkward here at the moment.
You are loved and missed more than you know! I wish you well! ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
I’m glad that things turned out well for your daughter! I think you both did a brilliant job of supporting her. Not everyone would do that much. You literally put her needs above your own. That is love right there! I’m sure she will have a good future. You worked hard to make sure that she will have the best chance in life. ❤️
I know that my son will grow up and be able to manage his condition regardless of what happens. But for the best outcome he does need help. I’m glad that I’m in a position where I can help him. 😊
His fever is better now. Finally!
Please don’t worry about Anita not replying. She is having a hard time at the moment and not talking to many people. It is nothing personal. ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Peter
I miss the edit function too. 😊
I guess for me, working on my fears helps me to be less afraid.
I’ve been really enjoying talking to you and getting to know you some more. I think you’re a really pure soul. ❤️
I would never have known that you struggled with these things because you are an excellent writer! I understand what it is like to have difficulty with some things. Maths and anything to do with symbols are my weakness. Everyone has different strengths. I’m glad that you can see your strengths now.
I think it’s really amazing that you didn’t let having difficulty with something deter you from enjoying it and exploring it. You have really honed your craft! ❤️
Was there a reason that you decided to stick with it?
Yes, I am very aware of the flaws with AI because I’m an IT student. It is a shame because people can be really easily mislead by it. It’s basically designed to try and make the person using it feel comfortable at any cost. It is one of those cases of if it is free you are the product. It is designed to encourage people to use it as much as possible.
I’m glad that it helps you, because it can be a useful tool when used mindfully, which you are. It is a shame that it takes so much effort to encourage the software not to actively mislead people. It’s a really big problem. I know people who are tech savvy who have been mislead by it. It’s very much on the user to call it out on its mistakes and it takes repeatedly challenging it.
Particularly when analyzing conflict it is very deceptive. I have had to teach people how to remove bias from their inputs. It is really unfortunate because people can use it with good intentions, trying to learn and grow, while it gaslights them. It’s a real shame. Some states in the US are even banning them from being used as a therapeutic tool for this exact reason.
AlessaParticipantSorry, I was writing to stay awake for my son to give him his medicine late at night.
To be clear, I do think that everyone has important needs. I don’t judge anyone for skills that they simply haven’t learned or unlearned yet. I have had a lot of struggles in communication with my own PTSD and neurodivergence. I understand how painful it is to have difficulties with these things. I also understand that everyone has different needs and boundaries.
My wish is for everyone to feel supported in conflict. ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Everyone
Personally, I feel like conflict is a large reason why active members leave. At least four people I enjoyed speaking with left because of difficulties with conflict. I also left for a while because of issues with conflict.
My understanding is that in the past moderators weren’t necessarily aware of issues because they rely on members actively reporting issues via email. Because the community is so sensitive. I do believe that managing conflicts in a healthy way is crucial to building a stronger community.
This is my goal and I have been doing my best to manage these things in a way that aligns with my values, being respectful of boundaries and trying not to cause undue stress, as some members don’t like to receive feedback of any kind.
I assume you’re talking about the misunderstanding on Laven’s thread? I wouldn’t worry about contributing Lucidity. Your voice is welcome! 😊 That was a very specific and rare issue. Mistakes happen, it isn’t a problem. I think Thomas handled the situation with grace and has been doing an excellent job contributing. ❤️
I think the difficulty Peter, is that not everyone might not be willing or able to commit to such an idea. ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Peter
Sorry, my head was all over the place yesterday. It sounds like I didn’t come across very well. ❤️
I always think you do a great job exploring these topics. I just feel like you do so well at it, there is not much for me to add. If that makes sense? So I try to explore related perspectives. 😊
What I meant was these things can even both exist at the same time. It can be hard to see through in the moment. Reflection helps me.
Yes, exactly! These things are complex. There are a myriad of things going on.
I feel like because people are so different with different needs that are often incompatible with our own, it takes co-operation for people to connect. To me, this involves accepting peoples differences, trying to find ways to understand each other and compromise.
You are right in that we are all imperfect. I think that we are just animals. Human nature is messy. Babies are addicts, biters, hitters, screamers and even liars. Don’t get me wrong, they are also plenty of wonderful things too. I feel like adults share a lot of the traits babies have. We all make mistakes and are a work in progress.
I really appreciate you taking the time to explain your intent. I actually really love understanding the authors unique perspective and intention. I know that everything is open to interpretation, but I always hated book reports in school. I always wished that I could talk to the authors and then write a report.
I feel like trust is important in seeing people clearly. ❤️
AlessaParticipantWhat am I? A journey.
I am changing, trapped in time, a scared child clinging to anything.A naive teenager, brimming with confidence,
hope and dreams. A life unlived.
Broken by life—picking up the pieces, glass shards in hand, carefully re-arranging them.
Slow progress, inch by inch—overcoming fear.Who are we without the ones we love?
Trusting. Loving. Caring. A family.
I want to make them proud.Why is this happening?
Why am I all alone? So scared and alone again. All grown up.
What was once a trickle, now rushing water erodes everything we knew.What is left now? Everything comes and goes.
It is all part of the journey.
Look at it distastefully and it is distasteful.Fear, my constant companion.
Anger, too afraid to even look.
Time to put them down. Gently now.
They did a good job. Excellent motivation.What do you care about? What do you want?
How much are you willing to sacrifice?
We do all of these things without even considering the consequences.
How did that happen?Time to create a new life: what would you like it to be?
AlessaParticipantThanks so much for your kindness, sorry my head was all over the place yesterday. You are much appreciated! ❤️
AlessaParticipantForgot the heart! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
How are you and your family keeping?
Yes, definitely! 😄
My son is sick at the moment. He will be okay in time though. Outside of that, he is growing well and a very active boy. He’s very friendly and just wants to play with other kids. Still working on his talking. He’s developing his own sense of humour which is lovely to see.
He laughed at one of my jokes for the first time yesterday while we were at the hospital. He was playing with a toy there which had wheels. I asked if he was enjoying himself (no answer), and then I said of course you are, it’s wheeeelie great!
I’m a lover of terrible puns. At least someone appreciates it. 😂
There was also this funny moment the other day when we were really worried about him having a limp. It turned out to be a sock stuffed into the toe of his shoe. 😂
I’m preparing to adopt an authoritative discipline style when he’s two. It’s the evidence based gold standard these days. You aren’t really supposed to do these things before the age of two apparently. I’m really nervous about the idea of discipline because of my trauma. It feels really uncomfortable. I know that there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy discipline though.
The plan is to get his autism diagnosed at two, so we can get him any help he needs.
AlessaParticipantHi Tee
How are you doing? ❤️
I think I’m anxious in general. It got really bad as the pregnancy progressed and after birth and during infancy became even worse.
I was truly shaken by the whole experience. I have been through so much in such a short time. I’m not confident in who I am anymore. I’m still learning. It is unique when your entire way of thinking shifts. Everything is new and the stakes are high.
That being said, I have always been an anxious person because of my trauma. With differing levels of success in managing it.
When I think of when I felt most at ease in my life. It was when I was free of my mother and believed that everything was good in the world.
I think being a parent is actually fun. It is like you get permission to be silly again because you have to entertain your children.
It is so bizarre in life that there is so much societal pressure on people to act in certain ways in specific situations.
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Great to see you again! I feared that I never would. I still think of you often. ❤️
I’m glad to hear that you met someone you have been learning from. Keep up the good work with your practices!
AlessaParticipantHi Peter
Yes, these things can be mirrors at times. At other times not.
Sometimes people are just very different. It can be hard for them to understand each other and see eye to eye.
Because people are so different, there can be a lot of guessing as to what is going on and it really can miss the mark.
Personally, I’m okay if one person doesn’t see me, I will not judge them for it. There are plenty of people who do see me for who I am. The beauty of knowing oneself. ❤️
AlessaParticipantHi Chau
I’m so sorry to hear that she strung you along like that again. That’s very cruel. ❤️
I understand the difficulty with setting boundaries, especially since she is a coworker. It can be hard to step away someone who works in your building because it is polite to interact with coworkers and difficulties with coworkers can become very complicated. Not necessarily something that you might want to deal with.
Do you think it might be a good idea to write a note that you can reflect on if you feel an urge to talk to her again? Perhaps you might want to include how you would like to deal with the situation? How the difficulties have made you feel? A summary of events in your relationship with her?
AlessaParticipantHi Everyone
Thanks so much for the support! It was the worst fever so far, so it has been scary. He’s doing better now and back home from hospital. ❤️
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 