Hi Peter

I’m glad to hear that you’re well. ❤️ Things are good thanks 😊

I do believe that they can be separate. That is because I had a male husky with a massive ego and PTSD. I suppose behaviour is a substitute for language, a different form of communication. Just having the faculties for memory and pattern recognition is enough.

Yes, I agree. It is unique how society dictates how we respond to things. This is as true for dogs, as it is for people because they pick up on feelings.

I did recently hear about an experience of a woman who had experienced SA as a child and had been doing really well in her life. Then one day she watched a reality show where women were talking about their experiences of SA as children. It restructured how she thought of her experience and she developed PTSD. Fascinating stuff.

Yes, I do think about these things having a child. I try my best and still wonder if something I say will hurt him one day.

I will say that the opposite can be true. As much as language can hurt, it can heal. It is always fascinating to me when learning something new leads to a radical shift in perspective.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Experience. Instead of worrying so much, it is helpful to be open to experiences.

You can have all of the best intentions, but worrying itself can be a closed minded perspective. I don’t mean you, Peter by the way. 😊

Thanks so much for sharing! Sorry I’m so busy at the moment. ❤️

There is a rhyme that survived about the history.

Remember, remember the 5th of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
I know of no reason
Gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.

Hi Tee

Great to hear from you too! Bless your soul, you’re a sweetheart. ❤️

I understand, it is really nice to have a doctor you trust. I hope they can make some time for you soon. I’m glad to hear that you have been in less pain recently though. 😊

Yeah, I definitely shoot myself in the foot with that. 😊

I’ve been trying to come up with some rules for engaging with people and talking about things.

I just know that withdrawing is a bad habit for me. I’m trying to work on it and figure out healthier ways to handle things.

I think I’m through the worst of it, thankfully!

Yes, he is going to nursery next year. I think part time at first, so it isn’t too much for him.
It’ll be nice to get a break when nursery starts. Purely, because I’ve never had a day off looking after my son. It will be emotional when he starts though. I want to sort out his potty training before he starts. I’m a bit anxious about the idea of other people changing him.

I’m trying to be very intentional about paying attention to when people are trying. I can get a bit lost in anxiety sometimes.

Sorry I’ve been so busy. It is hard to find the time sometimes. Thanks so much for your kind and support. You are a very special lady. ❤️ ❤️

Hi Ann

Honestly, I understand your anxiety around water. ❤️ I drowned in a river and had to be given mouth to mouth as a teenager. I was slight too and I knew how to swim, albeit I was not a good swimmer. Your fear is realistic and you can’t be too careful when swimming in open water. A pool is much safer. Did you communicate your concerns about the sea to the group?

I totally get it! That is modern dating for you. 🤷‍♀️ Most people have a bit of an addiction if they use their phones regularly, it seems. It’s natural to want a bit of attention from your partner. Do perhaps hold back from attending to these feelings until it frustrates you? What do you think?

Ahh, I understand. Uncertainty makes me feel anxious sometimes too. A lot of life is uncertain though. It can be hard.

I don’t think he meant anything bad by it though. Since you know that uncertainty is a trigger for you, when you feel anxious it might be helpful to check is this because of my uncertainty trigger? Triggers can make things seem bigger than they are. It can be helpful sometimes to practice self-soothing when you notice these kinds of triggers too make it regular sized. What kinds of things help your anxiety and make you feel calmer? ❤️

Only if you feel comfortable. Are there any significant times in your life where you have felt this deep anxiety over uncertainty? Where do you think it might come from? ❤️

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and feelings. Please feel free to share anything at all. ❤️

Hi James

What excellent timing. What you wrote reminds me of this video I watched by Carl Jung Teaches on YouTube. He was talking about God being part of us and a lot of us ignore it.

I had a really nice experience after the video where I felt a lot of love for myself arise. It felt effortless, the way I feel for my son. I’ve never had that happen before. ❤️

Thank you for sharing! ❤️

I got a nice herbal medicine tea which settled my nervous system. It was nice how empty my mind was without the overstimulation. Relaxing. It occurred to me that the worrying itself is an expression of nervous system activity. And if I keep up these overthinking habits it will likely add to the overstimulation.

Sorry for rambling! ❤️

Hi Tee

I’m sorry for getting back late to you again. Seems to be a theme at the moment and getting a little old. ❤️

I have just been thinking and I knew that you’ve had a lot on your plate with the disc issue. I’m glad to hear that your appointment went well and gave you some hope. It’s good that you are starting to feel a little better now too. You really do sound more positive about the situation. I think you did a fantastic job of handling everything. You knew what would work best for you. And I’m glad you have those pads that reduce inflammation etc. ❤️

I had faith that you’d figure it all out. I know when pain is bad that it can cause anxiety and vice versa. It can almost become a bit of a self-perpetuating thing. I forgot where I was going with this I’m starting to ramble because I’m tired. It’s getting late. ⏰

Yes, basically! I do think I’m a bit too receptive. I tend to push myself beyond the point where I’m comfortable, especially if the other person feels bad about something. I think I need to cut things off a bit sooner. I’ve been looking into communication techniques to help with this since I have a habit of shutting down and withdrawing as well.

I was thinking about what you said. Thank you for encouraging me to not dismiss my own needs. After reflecting, I think I have been doing that a bit. I do let a lot slide. It is hard to deal with things without putting pressure on people. I think because of my autism, ptsd, postpartum depression, having a child and no child care. Plus in general, there has been a lot of stress in my life too. It’s been one thing after another for the past couple of years. It’s created a bit of a crisis and I do try my best to just keep things calm as opposed to dealing with everything. But I’m starting to see that the downside to things piling up is resentment. I guess I’m going to have to prioritise and try to clear my plate so to speak.

Hmm well it is hard to let go of the desire to feel accepted by people we care about. I think I’m stubborn and not afraid of hard work. I do need to do a better job of taking care of myself though. It’s no good if I burn out trying to take care of everyone else. Just going to politely have to say no sometimes. ❤️

Thanks so much! 🙏 Appreciate your advice as always. ❤️

One day at a time! We got this! ❤️

Hi Anita

I’m sorry to hear that your sister called you to let you know that your mother is dying and that some of her siblings have died too. Was that the uncle who was kind to you? ❤️

I hadn’t read your thread yet or I would have answered you first. ❤️

I hear that there are some complicated feelings for people whose abusers die. It sounds to me like you actually did your best to take care of your mother. But it’s not something that a child can do I’m afraid. Not your fault at all that you were a child who tried your best. ❤️

Sometimes people feel relief when their abusers die. I hope it is not in bad taste to say that I hope in part it might bring you at least some sense of relief for the horror to finally be permanently over one day. I only say that because you truly deserve peace. ❤️

Please be gentle with yourself in these difficult times and take extra special care of yourself and little girl Anita. You deserve the extra love and support. Despite the difficulties in your relationship with her, death is not an easy thing and can land in strange ways. ❤️