Soooo… Update:

After mine and his 1 year, he broke up with me. The thing is, he didn’t tell me he wanted to break up. He instead blocked me on everything and left it as that for me to figure out that it was over. I’m still hurt over it but I’m starting to get better and not care at all.

Fast forward to now, I have a new best friend who is really sweet and funny. I really enjoy his company and he’s my favorite person. Why am I bringing this up? I kind of like him, but, everytime I think about the fact that I like him, the doubts come back, those being the same doubts I had with my now-ex. I want to tell him I like him but those doubts scare me because I don’t want to mislead him(especially since he already admitted that he likes me). Obviously I wouldn’t look for a relationship right now, he knows that as well, but, I do want to let him know. When I think I like him, I:

•Monitor my feelings to see if my heart races or drops

•Start thinking, “Do you really like him?”, “You don’t actually like him, you’re just thinking you do”, “What if you don’t like him?”, “What if you stop liking him?”, “You just miss having affection”, ” What about the other guy that likes you”, etc.

I’m starting to feel really stressed by this. Again, I don’t like him a lot but I do a little bit and I’m not looking for a relationship for a bit but I would want to let him know sometime soon. How could I block these thoughts out or tell him in a good way?

I started distancing myself from my parents when I was about 10. My mom has always been the one to tell me things and tell me not to tell people but she’s also been the type of person to tell others the stuff I tell her or things that happen. My parents have always seemed like they’re the type of people to react badly towards things and are strict and over-protective. I feel like I am the odd one out of my family at times and if I were to be honest, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t tell my parents what’s wrong or what’s going on anymore and if anything is wrong, I go to my boyfriend or one of my good friends. I don’t feel too comfortable around my parents anymore and don’t really like talking to them either. I care for them, but I’m not close with them. We have good moments, we’ll laugh and watch movies, but, I can’t say I trust them.

Well, my only question is (which you do not have to answer) do you think that all of this may just be intrusive thoughts?

My life would change with or without him though. He keeps me happy and stable as for where I live is somewhere I’m very upset with. I also deal with a lot of my friend’s problems too which puts stuff on me as well. If I were to ever lose him, I would probably stop eating almost completely, I’d cry non-stop, etc. I probably would stop talking to people as well. He impacts me a lot even if it’s only virtually.

Also, no, I have not been diagnosed with OCD, I don’t go to a therapist or doctor. I don’t really tell my family anything. My current boyfriend has been the one that’s always there for me because I feel as though I can trust him the most.

Yes, we did. Alina. I forgot the password and it was on a scrapped gmail. I started to think of a lot of the things you said but also forgot a lot.

Hi! I had left this awhile ago because I started to feel better and have felt better.. Until now.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now, going onto 11 soon. These obsessive thoughts don’t really ever go away completely, but they do numb down and I forget about them, but as of right now, they are not. I almost broke down crying last night due to this.

I’ve had these ongoing thoughts since the first month of us being together. He never did anything wrong, no turn offs or anything. We are in an online relationship so therefore never actually seen each other in person(but we have video-called and such). When these thoughts started, it was when I was in class and my mind was just wondering around and latched onto that thought. I use to surf the internet trying to find reassurance and later found out that it’ll just make it worse, so I avoided it.

I’m not really the type of person to show or feel much emotion. When I’m upset, I tend to not feel much and sometimes won’t cry or feel upset(will come up later). Same with being excited and other feelings.

With an ex of mine, every time we’d talk, my heart would race and I’d get butterflies. I was always happy to talk to him and always had these strong infatuation feelings towards him. With my current boyfriend, though, I haven’t felt these feelings basically at all. I felt a spark and a liking to him, and as said, I was always craving him and being obsessed with him, but never the heart racing or butterflies. Because I never felt those, they connected to the question in my mind, “Do you really love him?”, “What if you don’t love him?”

Another thing that I tied onto was comparing how I feel to how he does. When I cry, he said he gets a stomach ache and wants to cry too bc, but doesn’t with others. As for me, when he cries, I get worried and concerned and I go into a calm state, but I never physically feel anything like a stomach ache, my heart may feel like it’s racing sometimes when it’s not but that’s about it.

I do think that maybe it’s because we had just came down to my Dad’s friend’s house to stay for a few days before we go camping for a week and so I’ve been upset because I can’t actually talk to my boyfriend, who we’ll call Arch(it’s a nickname I have for him because it’s in his gamer tag on xbox) for two weeks, and this Thursday to next Thursday I won’t be able to text him or anything either. When I’m at home though I do still have these thoughts, just not as strongly.

I’m really sorry if this is all jumbled and hard to understand, I’m not good with sequencing or grammar. These thoughts cause me a lot of stress and they really scare me. I want to spend my life with this guy and only this guy. Not only is he my boyfriend, but my best friend. In the past two years of us knowing each other, we have gone through a lot and have so many memories and things I don’t want to go to waste. And just in general, this guy is amazing to me. He has his flaws, but I love them. There’s nothing I see wrong about him, he’s great. I don’t ever want to give him up, but these thoughts scare me a lot. I’ve never had them before, and it worries me that I don’t love him, when I know I want to and believe that I do, regardless of the thoughts.