Laura,
I just read your post and wow, someone I can definitely relate to! Like you, I am just hoping it gets better. Unfortunately, as a teenager, I am quite limited in what I can change in my life. I found out I wasn’t going to college the day before move in because my parents didn’t have the money, which means I am living at home and attending community college. It’s very hard with the restrictions. I feel like I am waiting and waiting to be happy and I just keep looking for a new way that may make me happy, but it just doesn’t work. With fitness, I think I thought it would make me happy because you just see the smiles and optimism radiating through “fit” people. But I failed to realize that their life won’t make me happy, only the life I love deep down will. I have been reading a book about Buddhism because I have been wanting more knowledge about it, and I can say a lot of it is very relate able. It seems that we constantly tie our happiness to certain things or people, and it really just doesn’t bring that satisfaction and happiness we desperately want. Hopefully we can both become satisfied with our lives, and I wish you the best!