Eliana,

Yes what you said makes perfect sense.  Thank you very much.  Again tonight I’m dealing with an issue because I made a comment to him about when he went to the dentist to get his cleaning and said the hygienist is probably cute and blah blah…..I sometimes catch myself saying these things to get him to “reassure” me and it doesnt work, he just gets more pissed and then will put up the walls,…ignore me and the patterns begins all over again.  So yesterday and today he works 12hrs shifts ..  I didnt hear from him except a huh? this am after I made the stupid comment then when he was about to go into work I said I guess you are still mad and will stay mad…and tried to explain myself.  He said hes sick of my “antics”  , I told him it mostly means I need his reassurance he said he would be hes running late for work.  Also I told him he has not asked about my well being since I just had labs redrawn because I found out Im severely anemic and my blood and iron levels are way low.  Its like, why do I continue to stay if he does not care of cant say he loves me?  Other times I can tell because hes so warm and affectionate, tender during love making, etc.  but if I have a bad day he says “oh I thought u were working on your issues”???  Like, he has issues too!  GRR….so frustrating.  So I blew up his phone, sent some texts saying I wont be around this weekend….and will ignore him like he does me.  But I wont, I end up giving in.  I feel I maybe do deserve better.  Sometimes he drives me so crazy mad and other times he makes me so happy.  Its so hard to let go ….