Thank you both for your insight and commitment to share what you have learned throughout your journeys. I am very thankful to have found this community of great people from all around the world all walks of life and yet we all come here to not be judged by our past, to feel a connection with like minded individuals, acceptance, and an outlet that seems to be the most valuable tool for me. I don’t live near any of my immediate family or have many friends that I can talk to and deflate when I’m feeling that just a little compassion and affirmation that im doing the best I can and everything will be ok. So I really cherish the opportunity to reach out and even if no one responds I will not be offended, I’d still be thankful for being able to vent or even help someone else along.

Me and my therapist have been laying out the ground work to have a plan for EMDR therapy that I am doing as well. I was doing EMDR with an awesome therapist before but I could no longer afford to pay out of pocket and I was seeing her every week, and going to someone else for medication management. I was doing great and when I had to stop seeing her it was like I was dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Confused, no direction, and bummed out that again I was defeated.

I don’t expect instant success and I’m well aware that this is going to be a long journey. I have done group therapy in the past and though I feel that’s a longer and more painful process, I did like not feeling alone, and knowing that there are others struggling in very Similar ways as me. I’m 35 and say stuff like who in the world is doing, saying, and acting like me and the truth was astonishing the youngest being 15 and up to around 80 years old. The downside for me was I’ve never lacked compassion for others suffering, and I found myself getting stuck on wanting to help others, the therapists and the patients loved hearing me speak because I would speak from my heart and soul. I just can’t seem to do the same for myself yet. Nevertheless it was a great experience.

Just out of curiosity you seem to have a good grasp on details, and process. Are you in the profession or have you been through therapy as well. Completely fine if this is unanswered.

Thanks again, Ryan

Thank you Hope, and Anita,

Anita the therapist that I work with is very experienced and passionate in her approach to my treatment. I’ve been seeing her once a week for a few months now and she always challenges me to do the hard work and will not hesitate to call B.S. on me either for making excuses or living in the past. For me it’s all about letting go of my past so I can be in the now. Staying grounded is a real struggle for me. Going to other therapist and giving up when it became hard usually left me looking for another person to see and a new diagnosis. At the moment I’m treated for severe depression, PTSD, anxiety, social disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, and I’m looking into ADD because normal tasks, and daily responsibilities are extremely difficult. What I like most about her is I don’t feel like I’m just another patient rather a student that is eager to learn to live a healthier, more productive life.

And Hope I appreciate your kind words. I’m in a stage of loneliness, acceptance, and grief. My intentions are always good to me, I just have to accept that not everyone thinks like I do, or expect loved ones around me to be a mind reader. I let pride disrupt my progress and get me off track so my new goal for now is to accept the things I cannot change, change the things i can, and the mindfulness to know the difference.

Thanks again,

Ryan