Hello Ryan,

I’m glad you posted.  By posting, you have already set yourself on a different path.  Even though you are struggling, you are still on a better path than you were yesterday.  And the day before.  Rebuilding your inner structure, as you say, takes a tremendous amount of effort and dedication.  Good for you for making the effort.

You ask if anyone can relate and/or offer advice for you to ponder.  My methods for facing problems/struggles…one is to “act as if.”  I act as if I will succeed in what I am setting out to do.  I act positive even if I am feeling anything but.  Another method I employ is taking one step at a time.  I learned about this when I went to Al-Anon meetings many, many years ago.  It really does work.  When I had 4 kids at home, and two had – and still have – very complex needs, some days felt pretty bleak and dark.  I acted as if it would be okay.  I took things one day at a time, and some days, I took one hour at a time.

Oh, a third thing.  I try very hard to recognize what I have control over.  I can’t control how other people react, how they feel, what they do or don’t do, but I can control how I react, and I can control whether I act on my feelings or not.  But, if someone gets mad at me, or I upset them, I do want to know why, and if I am in any way responsible for something that caused that, I will try my best to make it right, depending on the person and the circumstances.

I hope this helps, and please post any time.

Airene

Dear Ryan:

You are welcome. What a well written post, skilled writing. I hope you post again anytime you would like.

anita