Hi there,
Firstly, you are not alone. Many people suffer. Secondly, you are on the way to recovery because you are here talking about it. So, we now know you are not alone and you will get better! 🙂 I hope that raises a smile. Thirdly, as said above, get some help. Mild anti-depressants will help. I’m on 10mg and I still feel pain and emotions but I have a little more clarity and it helps to focus. I also practice meditation. Nature is the best therapy so go for long walks. Write down your fears, they are often less scary when you see them on paper and it’s a great release. I’m reading the Power of Now, it’s just a few pounds from amazon. Trust me, all this will work!
Stay positive, you are amazing. Life is short. Embrace it xx