I think you are viewing divorce as something selfish, but it could be a kind thing for you wife, not just for yourself.  Have you discussed divorce with your wife?  She’s probably as unhappy as you are. Divorce would set you both free to pursue happiness.

I’m not familiar with your culture. Where does responsibility to your own wife fall in relationship to that of your parents and siblings?

Littlered,

I had a similar childhood, where I learned early on not to ask for material things. Not from fear of punishment, but just from the way our family was. It was confusing as a child, because we lived in a nice house, and my parents traveled the world, yet there never seemed to be money for me to have new clothes. I had hand-me-downs until high school and I hated it!

It wasn’t until I became an adult that I mentioned this all to my mother and she explained. My father traveled internationally on his job and my mother sometimes got to go with him. It wasn’t that they were going on lavish vacations and leaving kids behind. And I also didn’t know at the time that my father was often unemployed and so they were frugal “in case” he lost another job. Plus my parents were children during the Great Depression, which I think effected that entire generation.

To this day, I have a hard time spending money on clothes even though I can afford to.  Yet I always seem to scrape together money for travel!  Reading your post made me realize that this is just repeating my childhood perceptions.

I don’t have words of wisdom for you. I just wanted to let you know your words have taught me something about myself, and I thank you for that.