Thank you for your very kind reply. I feel that we should not stay in relationships when our heart is not fully in it, we owe that truth to each other. Your guilt is a reflection of your capacity to care for another, and that says something about you. Feeling compassion for him is a good thing, but I think on some level, you know in your heart that if you were not true to yourself, you could never be truly there for him. Its o.k. to let the guilt go, heal, and stay open to love again without fear of loss. I believe that love will arrive right when you are ready. Rumi wrote:
The minute I heard my first love song
I started looking for you,
not knoing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,
They are in each other all along.

Peace,
MP