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Bella

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Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 178 total)
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  • Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    September 26, spending it alone.  Not many people are aware of my Birthday, so I don’t expect any visitors.  I have been by myself way to long & am starting to get worried.  I am not productive & don’t care.  I am so lonely it hurts.

    Sorry to be so negative, but it is how I feel…  I am so sad & feel numb to all around me.  Sounds crazy but it takes all of my energy to just get out of bed to get some water.  I will work on it…

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Storm has passed & all is fine…I managed to weather the storm alone with my 2 cats…We are ok.

    I have been in a funk for the past few days, not talking to anyone, just managing life.  It seems these days it takes all I have just to get up & deal with things. Paying bills & dealing with the have tos in life.  My Birthday is next week  & I can’t believe another one will come & go.  Life as such.

    Have a nice day!

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you so much for your kindness & concern about the hurricane.  A lot of rain & wind~ yes, I am alone…

    I am ok as long as no trees decide to fall.  I am terrified of storms~  Hopefully, the worst has passed.  I will touch base tomorrow Anita.  Your concern means very much during this difficult time…

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Wanted to touch base since it has been a while…Nothing exciting as of lately, we have a hurricane suppose to hit Sunday (Pray for Everybody in the path)…

    Will be in touch & have a nice weekend!

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    It seems like you know how I feel & yes, I am proud not to have contacted my ex…even though- I would like to~

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    It’s been a few cloudy days for me, I never contacted my ex, but I feel sad.  Have been thinking about the past & have concerns about being alone.  Many people seem to feel alone these days…

    I have things to do & take care of, but I still don’t feel any better.

    I will keep my chin up & enjoy the day.

    Have a Good Day,

    Bella

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Quick update…I am doing good & still have not had any contact with the ex.  His Birthday is tomorrow & no urge to call, or text.  I will say I am still thinking of him, but not like earlier.  It is becoming a distant memory.  What bothers me now is the lies & cheating, now that I can see clearly. It is still in the past…

    My new friend is just that, a friend…We had fun, but he is younger than I am & it shows.  Like I said, fun, but in small doses~

    Guess I am open again and on a journey to see what will work for Bella~

    Have a Great Weekend Anita,

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Wanted to give a quick update…My new friend is still amazing & a refreshing change in my life…Taking it slow & he will be coming for the weekend Friday evening.  Plans to go out to dinner with my girlfriend & her husband.

    I am taking things slow & everything else is starting to fall in to place.

    Have a Great Week & will send a quick e-mail over the weekend!!

    Still have not heard from & have not had any contact with ex for about a month, or so & it feels great!!!

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Went on a date last night & didn’t have expectations because I didn’t want to get my hopes up & be disappointed…Well, I must say things went beautifully, we went to dinner & watched a movie.  Never at a loss for words & had a very nice time.  He is beautiful to boot, Blonde hair, blue eyes & is taller than I am~ a real plus these days as men seem to be getting shorter.  LOL

    He seems to be very smart & has integrity…Time will tell, even though I am excited & feel he could become a fixture in my life, I don’t want to get too hopeful…

    We are going out again tonight…Things are looking up!!

    It sure is nice to look at the world through Rose Colored Glasses again…

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Amazing what a few glasses of wine & a good nights sleep will do…The guy I went out with started texting me after I got home from our date & it went on & on…I have decided not to repeat the date.  I haven’t drank in years, as I am not much of a drinker, but I did have a few last night & probably really relaxed well for the first time in months…Watched a movie & thought about life & how good it can be without all of the fear I had been burdening myself with over the past few months..

    I will keep my date with the new guy, as it still has possibilities & the door is open…The friend I have know for almost 30 years was not what I remembered.  People do change after 30 yrs. (haha) Since he has been single for so long he is really set in his ways, which are not suitable to my taste…One advantage of getting older & wiser.

    Have a nice day & will fill you in Thursday~Busy week & it feels “GREAT”~

    Bella~

     

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Went to dinner & had a nice time, took your advice & was myself 100%, didn’t think about, or compare my ex to anything.  It was very liberating…

    I have another date with him on Wed., keeping it casual…Even though it was the first time I have gone out & not think about my ex, it wouldn’t be fair to me, or any other person to even start anything on a serious note…

    I also have another date with someone on Wednesday…Things are looking up!! Finally, after a miserable summer & the past 4 1/2 months…

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Bella,

    It feels Great to be off of PI Duty!!!

    One good thing about PI ~ing is I feel like I have found out all of the down & dirty, and not much would shock, or hurt me anymore than the pain I have endured in the last few months…(I never imagined my ex was capable of his actions in the last few months) I am glad I discovered what I did…If not,  the pain would have come little by little from people telling me what he is up to…Now, no shocks!!!  I am relieved I know what he is really made of…

    Today is going down a “New Beautiful Path”…

    Wish me Luck!

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    My exact feelings about the Birthday, I just didn’t want to seem uncaring on his Birthday, but you are right…I would wait for a response & he doesn’t deserve my caring about him, or to wish him a Happy Birthday…In all Honesty, I hope he is miserable.

    Another thing, the man I am seeing today would run for the hills if he thought I still had feelings for my ex.  He is up to date on the relationship & told me weeks ago when he was listening to me cry about the break-up, told me I deserved better & I needed to move on.  That is one big plus with him is we both know one anothers past & the current situations.  So, there is no deceit, or having to try & be someone we are not.  Everything is out on the table…100% honesty…

    I do listen to what he is saying & ask questions with him so I can learn more about his feelings.  Like I said earlier, I am leaving the door open to the possibilities, but am not jumping in to anything.  Sad but, I want to be over my ex 99.99% before I would get involved with him.  I am respectful to his commitment issues & would not want to falsely lead him in to anything.

    I am so glad I have you to bounce things off of.  You are like my New Best Friend Anita~

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I would like to share today on a positive note in the right direction for healing & my positive feelings. I have been causally  talking to a friend of mine since the break-up with my ex.  We worked together approx. 28 yrs. ago & have always been distant friends.  He is a person of high integrity & ex-military background which I grew up in & understand very well. He was married when we worked together, but has since been divorced 15 yrs.  He has never dated anyone seriously since his divorce as he is hesitant of commitment.  I always knew that about him & it intrigued me.  (rare in men)  Which is fine for me because I prefer not to have someone like my ex that want’s to jump from lily pad to lily pad being in Love so often & so quickly.

    We are meeting for lunch today & then a movie and if we decide afterwards ~ coffee & chat.  We have been talking on the phone several times a day & he is very considerate, I can tell he listens to what I say I am doing for the day, because he will call after the fact & ask me how things went.  Very refreshing from what I have been living with in the past 8 yrs. with my ex.  These feelings are reminding me of new possibilities in a relationship.  I am not looking to fall in Love, I would like a trusting friend and someone to care about & the same towards me.

    I am not expecting Love, or anything amazing,  just looking for a friend & the possibilities of a relationship.  Since I knew him years ago, I feel like I know a lot about him without since we have a long friendship & because I knew his wife also. (We all worked for the same company & he still works there.  He doesn’t play games & he is very responsible.  He is a little low key & has not traveled & he is not a materialistic person.  If anything,  that would be one thing that could cause differences in us since I have always traveled  & I do like nice things.  But those are minor compared to what I have dealt with in the past.

    I am happy to feel comfortable enough to want to spend time with him.

    I will fill you in tomorrow & let you know what happens.  I want to take this nice & slow and make sure of my true feelings.

    I am not saying I still haven’t been thinking of my ex, because I have.  His Birthday is next week and I always acknowledged it and was wandering if I should send him a card, or a text.  Something simple from me & the cats.  I wouldn’t leave the door open or anything, just a simple “Happy Birthday” text.  What do you think??

    Bella~

    Bella
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    This is probably one of the longest posts, but it helps me tremendously & I will continue as long as you will respond~:)

    I thought a lot last night and I believe my biggest fear is being alone…If I were to meet my ex today as a stranger, or date and knew his capabilities in a new relationship, I would run.  So I will keep telling myself it is not so much him that I want back, it was the security I had with someone that I THOUGHT CARED and LOVED me, but it was not the type of love I want in a new relationship.

    I will just keep living my life as it is comfortable for me & I am sure I will run across a nice caring person that is meant for me & if not, so be it~I will be alone, but at least I will only be alone by myself, instead of being lonely with someone as I was with my ex.  I know if he had been what I needed in my life I wouldn’t have so many questions now.

    Have a nice day Anita & I will try to do the same~

    Bella~

Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 178 total)