Hi Anita,

I feel like I am trying to move on, but I don’t understand how after everything that has happened, that  my ex can’t have any type of concern for me after being together 8 yrs.  That is what keeps me hanging on with hope that he will come to his senses.  I know I don’t think or feel like he does, but that thought never goes away, no mater what anyone says.  It kills me and brings me down so much.  Whenever the thought passes my mind I feel sick to my stomach~

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I feel simply sad…My friend said he felt I have another 5, or 6 mos. until the hurt is gone & I told him I hope not, but I am afraid so…

For some reason in the past few days I am starting to miss things that I never appreciated before.  And it hurts, but I feel if he were here things would be the same as they were before he moved out.  Maybe it just bothers me that I think he is so happy…But that’s all probably fabricated in my head also…

The hardest part is that he walked out & never looked back…

He did call yesterday and was in my driveway with the key he was suppose to mail and he said I am here come out.  and I told him to just leave the key in the mailbox and he did…That was all that was said~

Bella~

hi anita,

He started asking me to marry him less than a year after we were together.  I wanted to wait and make sure of my feelings is why I didn’t marry him after the first few years and also since he didn’t have a job for 2 years I felt we needed to get our priorities in order because he was usually stressed because of his obligations to pay his ex for child support and other things.

Then when I was ready to get married I got sick which was 10/2016…and wanted to wait until I was better.  Then in 2017 I told him we would get married in 9/2018 since he would be finished with his obligations to his ex and out debts would be paid off  by then and September is both of our Birthdays and he agreed.

That is why I am concerned he may marry this girl because he wanted to always get married to me and maybe he would do it to teach me a lesson and hurt me because I never would marry him…

It is just a twinge of a feeling I have and it scares me to death because I don’t have a clue as to how I would handle if he did marry.

I believe that is what is making me so upset!!

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I have many things I would like to say to him, but as soon as I think about being face to face with him my stomach gets in knots and I can’t think straight.  As much as I would like to have a civil & honest conversation with him, I don’t feel it is possible.  He has not been honest about so many things & him being so  irresponsible it would probably end up heated as it usually does.  I would like very much if he could be nice and I feel it would come flowing out as in the past and I would be able to get everything out.

I don’t know how I would feel afterwards is another reason I think I am hesitant and fearful of talking to him.  I am so sick of pretending I am ok when I am clearly not.  I have tried everything suggested to me to get passed these feelings and nothing is working & the thought of spending my fall season as I have my summer is scary.  I don’t think I could do it.  If I had someone to take care of my cats I thought about going away & then I thought where would I go?  and the problems would still be in my head.

I have done nothing to cause him to ignore me …I was always good to him & I don’t believe he was as miserable as he said he was, or he would have left a lot sooner.  I am sorry if I have been repeating things already posted, but it is still in my thoughts when I think about talking to him which will probably never go any further than between us in these post.  Because as soon as I think about the end result, it is tragic & I am sure he would share it with his new girl.

Bella

Hi Anita,

I am so upset & about to dig a hole for myself!!  After a week of waiting for my ex to send the key he has which I asked him last Monday, or Tuesday to mail …he texted he would.  Yesterday, I was going over to the building to organize and pick up some things & thought maybe he had put it in the secret place we put the keys.  Well he didn’t & I sent a text “where is the key”, NO RESPONSE & I know he saw it~Then being angry with no response & feeling like he was playing with me letting his new girl know I was texting I sent another “I have things to take care of & don’t have time for this”, No response & a final text of “Do not want to contact you so please stop this”…I know I was the one that texted & was referring to his games & wanted him to know I wasn’t texting him to meet, or talk…just where was the key. (maybe a bad decision on my part)

This morning he  sends a text saying he has errands to run tomorrow & what time would I like to get together!!! (Like everything is just peachy), Disregarding my texts..I shouldn’t have but I told him once again to mail the key & sent another one after that when I decided I  have had enough of his stupid games and told him just to forget about it~I know I shouldn’t have sent a single text & I can get in the building with some help.  I was hoping so bad he would stop acting like a child an be nice.

Why do you feel he never responds to me unless it’s convenient for him~ He never did that before.  He never responds to me quickly like he does everyone else & I know that because that’s all he does at work it text & e-mail.

It shouldn’t but he is still breaking my Heart.  I didn’t think I could feel anymore  hurt that I have felt this long lonely summer, but once again it happened today.  I almost have no words for the hurt & can barely cry anymore.  These feeling are becoming to familiar & it scares me…I have never felt this much pain for such a long period of time with no relief.

I wish I was a songwriter, it would make a great country song~

Bella~

Hi Anita,

Enjoyed reading about you & very interesting…I see you enjoy nature and wildlife…

I got home a bit ago after lunch w/my new friend.  We took a drive to the mountains after & it was nice until we passed a car like the one my ex drives and a mixture of emotional feelings came rushing in.  My friend asked if I was ok, so I knew then I needed to go home.  It was all I could do was get into the house & I started crying.  I feel so sad and angry at the same time.  All the questions and bad feelings rushed in.  I am really angry at myself for letting these feelings consume me.  I don’t think I can sleep any more than I have been in the past few days.  It gives me some relief to let myself rest from these thoughts.  I felt like I was healing & all I did was go out and everything reminds me of my ex.  It sickens me to feel this way.

I am starting to get a little scared about being alone the rest of my life…I don’t want that.  I have so much to share with someone & would like to find someone to do it with…I want to travel and grow old with someone.

Bella~

Hi Anita,

So sorry to hear about your bad experience with giving your e-mail & communication outside the realm of things…I would really like to know more about your life as you do mine.  But I fully understand & that is why I asked if it were allowed.  A lot of fruit cakes on this earth.

I have been reading a few other posts & I feel most on the site are genuine.  Then again, you never know.  I belong to a few cat groups, which stems from my animal rescue in the past & really enjoy it.  Still, it is not the same as hearing a voice.  I despise texting on the phone & much prefer talking to people.  You are able to tell so much about a person when you can hear them.

Sometimes I regret the world has turned into nothing but computers and not face to face communication.

I do really enjoy Tiny Buddha & feel you and the others are able to help many~  You are very kind for spreading your Wisdom among the Universe…

Bella~