Thank you Craig,

I appreciate you sharing your story,

I think that you’re right about punishing and encouraging. As for your specific situation from your example, who knows what would have worked best.

I will bear the encouragement advice in mind, absolutely. I hate making my boyfriend feel as if he’s not enough for me or he’s not given me what I need.

thanks again

B

Dear Anita,

Thank you kindly for your reply.

I try not to expect this type of affection from my boyfriend. I feel so disappointed in myself if I ever make him feel like he’s letting me down, because i realise that I am letting him and myself down by being ‘in need’.

The couple on the escalator, the man, reminded me if how my dad was with me as a child. I have guilt and abandonment feelings assosicated with my dad (as well as a lot of adult, positive feelings) which slip into my list of emotional baggage during a ‘low/apathetic’ time.

I feel secure without touch when I’m single, but insecure without touch in a relationship if I feel like I need support. My boyfriend loves me well and uniquely. I don’t want his way to stop or change or to pressure him to ‘perform’. When he knows I want support, he’ll do creative and interesting things for me to try and cheer me up. Although I find them  beautiful I also think they are indirect.

I am always doing self work. I understand that I am responsible for shaping my perspectives on these things.

B