I’ve recently become aware of narcissistic personality disorder – when I read your post that was the first thing that came to my mind, that he fits it on every count, particularly when you said you “had become him.” I think that’s a really surreal feeling that only people who have been in that situation will fully understand-how it takes you over. I’m glad to see you’ve come out in a much better place. 🙂

In reading John’s post- my heart goes out to you and any others who feel trapped in this way. I’ve been in an on and off narcissistic relationship/friendship for the past 15 years and have recently cut off contact and I completely understand the overwhelming ufge to continually go back to and hold on to the abusive relationship. This is actually a very real addiction- chemicals called peptides code to the psychological pain and you literally become addicted to the pain.

If you’re struggling to let go, get yourself back, just get through the second by second fight for survival, I recommend looking up Melanie Tonia Evans. She has a program that helps you release the pain and really heal. There are also a bunch of free resources and valuable articles on her website. It’s been the #1 thing that has significantly helped me recover.