Well as I work in a nightclub during weekends mostly..I get to go out only during the mid week when everybody else is busy working in the offices etc. An as it is small there is nothing much going on..like concerts or other public events..

I get to go out only with people from work on midweek.. but it’s a small group of people that constantly changes cause mostly there is people coming to work just for few months and then leaving…

And for now I have also kind of lost the trust or sympathy in local people probably cause my ex was local..their culture seems a bit different then mine..some of them are quite rude towards the foreign people that work here and see them lower than them selves.. and from what I’ve seen during long hours of work in a nightclub it’s quite ok and familiar for them to cheat or act inappropriate and then just act like it never happened..

I get some numbers from guys while working at the bar but it’s already a deal breaker that they ask me out while they are drunk so I don’t bother calling them..

I probably should change my job but it’s not that easy here as foreign people without any big experience get to work only in hospitality that always means smaller salary or a lot late working hours…

My pregnancy eneded soon after or could say it ended before it really started.. as I was under a lot of stress…I went to a doctor that told that it was a misscariage but as it was in early stage basically the first 2 weeks..

I lost a lot of weight and was feeling sick after…my boyfriend at the time…(when I finally reached him cause he wouldn’t speak to me in person just send texts) felt bad about it but he just said sorry and continued ignoring me..

I was lucky at the time cause I became good friends with a foreign  girl from work who was there just for the season…she very felt for me and tried to help me and get me out and eat and was spending time with me so I recovered from my illness quite ok…I’m eating again..less then usual but doing it…and Tring to go for walks whenever I have free time from work just to clear my mind…just sad that my friend left after the summer was over…

About my leaving or staying situation…I don’t really want to go home cause as I left school I don’t really have much job opportunities there and there is my family that keep on reminding me about my bad decisions about leaving school and constantly asking me what I’m gonna do with my life..that is all the time expecting something from me although deep down they are just putting their own problems out on me cause their own lives aren’t better at the moment so they  have found someone to put their own bad emotions on to….

Also here on the island I finally have stable income and can live without big worry…at home it wouldn’t be that easy cause job opportunities are quite bad and it’s always living in a worry about how I’m gonna pay my rent as it was one of the reasons why I left the place.

So now I kinda feel hanging somewhere in the middle…feel like I don’t belong anywhere…