This sounds so painful. You have been let down, and not gently. If I felt the way you did, I too would wish my journey’s end so that my life partner, children, friends, and dog could run stronger.
Perhaps
you can
start anew. Find one class, and ace it. Genius w/o education is like silver in a mine. (Franklin). You have a genius. Our pain can end, if even only for a day.