I feel it will help me to write about my dog, Ava. She was 6 years old, a beautiful boxer who was so intuitive & sensitive to everyone’s needs in the family. I let her go quietly at home on Friday, after the shocking news that she had lymphoma stage 4. It was only 2 weeks ago. The vet said she would survive for 2 weeks with no treatment, 2 months with steroids or maybe 6 months with chemo. We lost her so quickly, she was improving in my eyes & then I noticed that her tongue was a strange colour. The vet told me her vascular system was not working properly, I feel guilty for not noticing sooner. I am so so sad that she’s gone, my whole routine is out. I can’t stop seeing her where she normally would be, she had a beach walk on the morning of her last day & the sand in the car makes me upset when I see it. We have her daughter still, she looks so like her but I feel guilty that I don’t have the same connection with my pup as I did with Ava her mum. It’s so hard, I know it will get easier, she’s our 3rd boxer & it never ever gets easier. I hate it, I even told my husband that I would rather have her sick on her bed than not on her bed at all… Which obviously is not the case but I want her back so badly. She was the Lady of our house, the Matriarch, & it’s so empty right now. I know my little Indi will fill my heart where Ava has left a hole, she’s so young and vibrant & goofy. I hope that the original poster has healed, her story was so painful to read but all of these responses have helped me, & writing this I think is going to help too.