I am going through a very similar situation, been consistency in and out of relationships since I was 14 and now I am 21 years old in the middle of yet another break-up. It has been 2-3 weeks since my ex and I were working things out/breaking up. Last week he came and got the rest of his things. It is obvious my ex still cares and probably wants to be with me. During this time I have contacting him telling him how sorry I was, throwing guilt trips on him, telling him not to give up on us, etc.

This article helped me a lot tonight. http://breakupadvicereviews.blogspot.com/2011/11/getting-your-boyfriend-back-guy.html?m=1

We must have NO contact, when i say no. No facebook messages/statuses about your ex, no e-mails, phone calls, text messages, nothing. Men want to be left alone and when we constantly contact them we are only making it that much worse and by contacting them we are digging ourselves in a deeper hole. Trust me it is difficult. I slipped up Monday. Someone told me about a 30 day No contact thing you can do. Basically i made a calender, marking off day by day to show progress.

I also started to keep a journal. So every time you feel the urge to contact him, Write down why? What made you think about contacting him. What is your motives? Write down what you want to say to him. Are you feeling lonely?

Another thing is if your ex decides to contact you before the 30 days, you need to write things down you are going to say. Also, try to make it through the 30 days. even if you have to ignore him at first, then tell him you need more time. If he wants to see you try to put it off until the last day, or in this case the earliest would be Valentines Day. You need to understand when you see him, you can not tell him how hurt you are, how much you missed him, how hard it has been without him, etc. That part can come later.

You need to take this time to heal yourself and set you some goals, improve your lifestyle, make dreams, and change the things that have been bothering you. I personally am going to see a social worker to talk with about me problems. I have so many from previous relationships, you need to work out all the baggage. So that if your ex comes back around or you decide to contact him after 30 days you are strong, happy, confident. He will be expecting the opposite but if you show him you are okay and it is going to make him really think. Anyways, I could talk about this all night but do the best you can. Remember do not contact him. Let him come all the way back to you, but at the same time do not let him come back too soon. Really take advantage of this time to heal and cope. That way if things end up working out with him you will be healthier and more emotionally stable and if they don’t you have learned several lessons and you’re next relationship will be much better. I am still working on this whole process myself and I have a long way to go. Best of luck to you and I hope my words help. I also have a personal blog, it may help if you create one yourself. Here is my link if you would like to check it out. http://conqueryouremotions.wordpress.com/

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Brandi Nicole.

I once had a friend with benefits for about 2 months, it was right after a break-up with a guy i was with for two years. I thought it was nice to be able to have all the fun without the pressure of a relationship. We made an agreement to only sleep with each other but how did i really know he was sticking to the agreement? Anyways long story short, after I found out he was trying to sleep with one of my co-workers, and he was also my co-worker, I decided enough was enough. Never mix business and pleasure!

My advice to you would be walk away. Must men who say they only want sex, really mean what they say. I would not put myself though it. Even during the short time I was with my friend with benefits, I started to develop feelings for him. I guess you could say I started to like him even though I knew he was not the right guy for me.

I think if you continue sleeping with him, you are only going to do more damage. I would state your feelings once more and see what he has to say, and if he didn’t feel the same way then you need to let it go before you cause yourself anymore emotional pain. I learned from that experience and no matter how lonely I am or how much I want to be with another man I will never have sex with him unless I truly care about him. I believe having casual sex with only end up making you feel worse about yourself in the long run, maybe that’s just me. I hope this helps 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Brandi Nicole.