Matt, you took my point with a doctor in a wrong way. The majority of us know what is good for us; we know by heart so many wise guidelines and sayings…but still do not follow what we preach! How come that people repeatedly end up in a dysfunctional relationships; stick to unhealthy habits; repeat the same “mistakes”…despite the desire/wish/motivation to change!!!
The wisdom is sometimes not enough, and, as Alexey put it, “we need to learn and acquire much better skills”. A agree that our parents are doing the best they can, and that can be the reason that unhappiness is transferred from one generation to another. Sometimes we need to say (or learn to say) “NO!”
Best wishes from me

Hi,
Thanks Sapna for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us, and thanks Matt for your idea to see our own parents as ordinary people. You actually put into practice a lovely thought “if you can’t change the circumstances, change your perception”…As I see it, a lot of problems are the result of forgetting the fact that our parents “are still people”. And the perfection Matt’s teacher was referring to are actually our own expectations from our parents that we nurture and polish and stubbornly keep alive all along. Look, I’m almost 70 and still expect my mother who is 94 to turn into a kind, gentle, honest, loving mother. My head knows that it only happens in fairy tales and that my expectations are unrealistic; but my heart and my soul still believe in miracles… As I still expect a right guy to appear around the corner, one day (not necessarily on the horse!).
We have to turn to ourselves and answer important question: what can be the possible reason that we are STILL expecting certain things that we cannot get from our parents? It is as we are knocking on the wrong door!!! I can understand why kids are doing this, since they are in all possible ways dependent on parents. But what about us, adults and even senior citizens?! WE have choices! We know people who are gentle, kind, loving…we know the door(s) that will be open with smiles and hugs and “It’s nice to see you”. So, we choose to collect a big, black stamp in our negative self-image album whenever we knock on the wrong door. It is similar to the type of medical help needed; nobody will refer you to urologist for broken arm. Deep down we know where we can get acceptance, approval, respect and all the things we need. Problem is what prevents us of going there?
Take care,
Branka