Hello,

I agree, you have to stop trying to rescue him, you mention in your post that you have a strong mission with the man, you can not make him your mission. You have to first take care of yourself, I think you have a rescuers mentality, in that you want to save this man. In all honesty you can’t, it is a noble endeavour, however, you must help yourself first. You mentioned how you have used different healing methods, keep at it. Everything takes time and effort, put that effort into healing yourself. I realise it is hard, but speaking from experience, the more try to help, or rescue, the worse you feel. I was in a similar relationship with a woman who needed help, but didn’t want to take it. I feel for you, it is hard to love somebody so much that all you want to do is take away their pain. But when that pain is bearing down on you also, you have to take action. Give yourself space from this man, if he has moved on as you’ve suggested, then you need to move on also. I realise it is easier said than done, but I have faith that the dedication and strength that you put into this man, can be the same dedication and strength that lifts you out of your despair. I believe in you.