Hi Helcat,
Thank you for replying. I recognize I am selfless and still think about her feelings than my own. I’m going through ups and downs as expected I feel. Sometimes I feel focused on myself and can take positives from our relationship and look ahead and other times I start to wonder what if and whether she will reach out. I think I should stop holding onto hope but I still do at the moment, which sounds silly given she ended it and I need to accept that.
I agree, I think she was very anxious but unwilling to share these with other people apart from me. She would often put on a facade in public and come home and I’d support her and check she was ok.
It was hard her saying I was too good for her and she didn’t deserve me as I thought she deserved everything and more.