Hello –

I have a somewhat similar situation, and am eager to hear any advice people have. I work with someone who is pleasant enough. We laugh and joke together, and generally get along. The problem that I’m running into is that this person’s way of being, as in his general attitudes toward aspects of life, are upsetting to me. I live in the midwest, so I can’t say that his behavior is unusual necessarily, but I don’t typically have to deal with it so frequently or up-close.

For example, he told me that he and his wife are anti-vaccers……..uh, okay. Fine I guess. She’s pregnant now. Best of luck to you.

Another example – He told me that he wants to start breeding dogs. I told him that if he does that, he should watch a video of dogs being euthanized at the humane society. Every dog that he sells is one that isn’t adopted, and is euthanized at a shelter. He said he won’t, and thinks he can make great money. He wants to breed dogs that have to have C-sections to give birth, meaning he’ll be keeping these animals in a state of perpetual pain.

Also, he’s told me that he adopted a cat to control rodents on his property. When he thought the cat ate chickens on his farm, he put it out in the city to fend for itself. It’s 18 degrees right now. We’ve had freezing rain and snow. There’s a young cat somewhere that is starving and freezing, if not dead because this guy doesn’t think.

He strikes me as being remarkably unaware and wreckless, and it generally offends me. Not as in, “you called me a name and now I’m mad” – but to a deeper level. His views and behavior, MANY more examples come to mind than what I typed above, are damaging. They’re damaging to me and in my opinion to the world in general.

What do I do with this person? It seems short sighted to just ignore him. Could I try to convince him that these things are hurtful? Maybe, although probably not. He imagines himself a conservative “farm boy” and I think he would prefer to keep it that way. Should I try? I don’t know – I guess. It’s different than the example above because we generally get along. He’s never been nearly as rude as some of the examples previously posted.

What is the compassionate and responsible thing to do with this relationship? What should a Buddhist do to respond to what is perceived cruelty? What is the enlightened path? This guy, to me, is a case study. While he may not be the most important or significant obstacle I’ll encounter, he represents a sample. Something difficult, but manageable to practice Buddhist teachings.

Thank you.