I’ve been through a bad marriage and a few bad relationships before that, so I’ll comment from that perspective.  From my first breakup in HS to my divorce almost 40 years later, I’ve learned the best and only solution is to embrace yourself and your talents and good qualities.  If you have supportive friends, lean on them for encouragement.  After a breakup, I never focused on finding someone else or salvaging the previous relationship.  I put my energy into school, friends, a career, hobbies—whatever was important depending on the stage of life I was in.  I ended up with some good jobs and a career, and now that my nest is empty, a new home in a new town with all kinds of hobbies and opportunities, none of which involve dating, and I stopped actively “looking” after that first HS breakup.  I met my following boyfriends and then my ex through friends or parties, etc.  I didn’t seek out relationships.

I’ve also learned to trust my gut.  When something feels off, it is.  This can be with romantic partners, friends, jobs, etc.  I also dealt with the emotional distance before the end of a relationship.  That was my signal things were probably ending.  Before I was married, I was able to move on right away.  When my marriage started going bad, I had a child and the stability of a roof over our heads, etc.  Because we weren’t being physically abused, I stayed only because of the stability.  However, I emotionally checked out, while of course appearing to outsiders that everything was okay.  Shortly after the nest emptied out, he left.  I had a breakdown because it was so sudden, but once I started therapy (I checked into the hospital the next day), things started falling into place pretty quickly.  With continued therapy, I filed for divorce and started taking steps to put my life back together.  After the divorce was finalized, I moved and started pursuing new roads and hobbies, and aside from occasional stresses or sadnesses like losing loved ones or unplanned expensive home repairs, I’m in a great place, thank God.

In your situation, please look for happiness and fulfillment outside of relationships.  Find a job, career, hobby, etc. that really makes you happy.  Take a class(es) in something you’re interested in.  These are things you can control and depend on, unlike another person where you’re subject to their whims and moods.  If it ends up you meet someone on this path, you can assess whether this person is the best for you, using your gut feeling and confidence in yourself.  If you have supportive friends, they will also help you on this journey.  Your priority now is to build up your confidence through learning and exploring life, so you’re not as vulnerable to people taking advantage of you.  This also could apply to toxic friendships or jobs.  Of course with work, we all need the paycheck, but exploring options outside of work or a healthy distraction away from work also help.  If you have the time and dedication to take care of a pet, get one or more.  Few things are more heartwarming than seeing your friend waiting for you at home after a tough day.  And you get unconditional love and snuggles and someone to listen to your problems and frustrations.

Finally, please don’t evaluate your relationships or love life by what people you know have or what you see in rom-coms.  None of us know what goes on in the privacy of people’s homes, good and bad, and movies and books are created in a writer’s imagination, no different that superhero stories.