I was in your situation before, totally low esteem and lost, bullied, Self-sabotage.
I had miscarrying my first child since my first marriage back in 2012 was in Chile. After I went back in Bangkok in 2014 for fixing some issues but we get separated in the beginning of 2017 and led me to Hugh depression from 2017-now (also hugh mortgage, changing many jobs, relationship with frn, family went down, fighting issues) and I have been tried hard to dating another persons but always felt the resentment, break up again and again, overall I have never thought to myself that I’m going to be good enough to anybody.
Sometimes life situation led us to the wrong choice, karmic trust, false spiritual. I tried hard to let the whole world define me as this are acceptable, social approval is needed or work hard on figure things..which all time ‘work hard’ for telling the world I will be back to normal but the hugh impact momentum I received was such disaster drama that all fault, I will need therapist, need those and need that, of course we are human not a robot, still need to eat, and earning money. Sorry I can’t well explain in English languages. But I just wish my sharing story can help you to know that you are not alone fighting this situation.
Love
Petch from Thailand