Hello there, I feel your pain I really do, similar things have happened to me in life. To be honest getting over someone you loved is, In itself one of the hardest things to get over. I was with someone for over 4 years. Best friends heck we grew up together. From the age of 16 to 20. This may sound cliché but time is the best healer. as each day goes on you will become stronger. You must not blame yourself. When you lose someone it is a constant battle. A battle with the world, yourself, friends, family, who expect you to just walk away and move on. I walked for miles daily with my own thoughts. My own mistakes, my own guilt. Eventually my mind changed, things looked up and I found solidarity in someone else, the one thing learnt however at the end of it all. Is that if you can get over this you can get over and achieve anything in life. So take every day as it comes, enjoy your own company there are so many things we need to be grateful for and thinking about them can help a lot also. I hope you find your happiness and although this may not have answered your question only you can answer it. Deep down you know that. All the best. Chris.