Hello! I’m 27 and just recently got out of a 1 year relationship with a single father (33) with a 7 year old son. I was drawn to your story since I am still recovering from this break-up which happened about 2 weeks ago. I met him through a mutual friend when I was a flight attendant based in San Francisco. I felt an instant connection with him that I haven’t really felt with anyone before based on our similar family backgrounds, and he was also super honest with me from the get-go. His son was also super sweet and would always give me gifts (candy and glitter pens) and sing me songs. I eventually moved in with him and his family since he kept on telling me it made more sense to (save money and convenience since I was always over anyways).

However, as time progressed, I grew more and more uncomfortable with being a stepmom as well. I felt feelings of awkwardness whenever his ex came over to pick up his son to hang out. I also didn’t like it when he would communicate with her through texts. It was obviously a normal thing to do, but I just felt like I shouldn’t have to go through with that situation. I also thought I could handle it at first, but I also had feelings of jealousy and frustration. All of that anxiety caused me to randomly cry at least once or twice a week over how unhappy I was with the situation. I also didn’t know how to date someone with a kid without feeling selfish. I love children , but I wanted to have my own children and I knew I wasn’t cut out to take care of someone else’s. I felt like that is usually how a normal single female would feel like.

Because of my unhappiness, I quit my job and moved back home to LA to pursue my goal as an elementary school teacher. I feel so much happier now. I know it’s hard when feelings for him are so strong, but the situation isn’t ideal. Maybe he was super nice and an amazing Dad, but that doesn’t mean it would be an easy or the right relationship to be in. I think being in an uncomplicated relationship would suit me better because I prefer a drama free life. Furthermore, his son grew attached to me and eventually started texting me. It made me feel so guilty in breaking it off. Based on my experience, I would suggest listening to your intuition. If you aren’t 100% sure of the situation, you definitely shouldn’t pursue it.

I regret hurting them both. That was the hardest part of the break-up and if I could do it again I would have made a better decision.