Forum Replies Created
October 20, 2013 at 3:47 am #44031SarahParticipant
Thank you so much to both of you for your kind advice. Jeff, I have written plenty of letters to him that were never sent just to get out my frustration. But in teh end it was not enough. What hurts the most is that he does not seem to realize the pain he caused and I keep wanting to somehow show him, and he still does not think he did anything wrong and calls me sick and a pest. Of course I realize that at this point I should simply give up on ever being with him and live my own life for a change instead of living in the past. But this is easier said than done. This man and I were very good friends and relied on each other heavily for many years before we were in a relationship. He is the person I trusted the most and I truly considered him my best friend. I have not spoken to him in over a week now and I am trying very hard to keep it that way, but all I think about is him and how things got so bad. I know that he played mind games with me. But it still does not change the fact that he now seems to be in a very serious relationship with the woman he cheated on me with, even though he repeatedly told me I am better than her in many ways. Moreover, this woman told him that she wants to get married in a year or two, but that she does not want to marry HIM. And I know he does not want marriage or children either, at least not anytime soon. So it almost seems like he is doing this to prove something to me and hurt me on purpose. Even if I have mostly come to terms with not being with him, I still have so many questions and no answers. I feel like all of this confusion is just eating away at me and will continue to do so. He never gave me a clear explanation and told me so many contradictory things. I just don’t know where to go from here. This is all so hurtful. Him saying those mean things to me and him moving on so quickly in particular. I just feel like he idealizes this new person he is with and thinks she is all better, when judging at least from the very limited “interaction” I had with her she is manipulative and is using him. To clarify, while he and I were having a conversation on skype she walked into the room and seeing that I could see her on webcam started hugging him and asked in a mocking tone if I wanted to speak to her. I just don’t understand what he is doing with his life and because I still care so much about him, I cannot stop thinking about it. To Alexander, I agree that the best revenge is moving on and that I should just cut all contact with him. But I highly doubt that he will marry me or want anything to do with me when he seems to be “in love” with another person now. And I have not been seeing anyone since all of this started. I just want to know how it could be possible for me to stop caring and thinking about him, because it is still all I do. I feel stupid and like I am wasting my life away, but I cannot stop. I still remember him for the person he was while we were in a relationship and do not want to believe that he has changed so much…October 16, 2013 at 4:44 am #43862SarahParticipant
Another thing I should mention is that my ex tells me he still holds resentment towards me for how I treated him during our relationship. Nothing I do or say has changed that. I have begged for forgiveness, written letters and tried so hard to re-establish communication. But he is still holding a grudge and is holding on to so much anger. It is keeping me from moving on even if I wanted to.