Hello everyone and thank you so much for your responses. I am willing to take responsibility for the fact that we have things we need to work out, including the fact that I need to improve in meeting her emotional needs. This has been the biggest wake up call. I love her and our kids more than anything, but I need to do a better job of showing that. If we survive this, this is what I will commit myself to. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and it is what I promised to do when I married her. I really take courage from all of you and I will hang on and try not to let the situation I’m in wear me down.

Anita,

That also has crossed my mind as well. I am so focused on coming to a point where she decides to either run off with Mr. New or come back to me, but what becomes of us if she decides to stay and work things out. If she remains uncaring while we are trying to rebuild, it may be even more painful for me than if I had just ended it now. Despite this logic, my heart strings still pull me back to her. I know that I can only take so much before I have to save myself because no one else will and find a way to carry on without her.

She was unapologetic at first and even denied it initially even though I’d heard enough to out her. She placed some blame on me for it, but then said that she just cannot control how she feels and that she had feelings for this other guy. I have yet to really process it and have been ranging from denial to depression to anger. I just can’t believe all our years of marriage and kids is so trivial that she is now willing to risk it all just to meet this person.