From what you mentioned it does seem as though you did everything you could that you had control of to make the relationship work. One thing you might need to explore is whether he is suffering from low self esteem and if this was what was getting in the way of him being more open, taking on responsibility and committing to the relationship and taking the next necessary serious step forward. He may know that his behaviour is affecting the relationship and that he needs to change in order for it to work but he may not know that it might be coming from low self esteem. Typical symptoms of low self esteem include; avoidance, staying within his comfort zone, fear of rejection fear of failure and of making mistakes, holding himself back, sensitivity to criticism or being corrected, difficulties socialising comfortably, inability to cope with change, not taking on new opportunities and relying on others to name a few. It might be worth your while to encourage him to seek professional help to specifically explore whether low self esteem is what might be standing in the way of your relationship working out because it sounds like you both love eachother but that his personal issues are standing in the way of it working. Low Self esteem issues is one of the most common problem s In relationships. It is something that can be fixed through therapy however it will depend on how keen he is to address it for the sake of the relationship and you. What you seem to be struggling with is his avoidance in committing and responsibility in the relationship. Avoidance is a common unhealthy coping mechanism used to cope with feelings of insecurity and life responsibilities. Someone who suffers from low self esteem will experience a lot of anxiety whenever they are expected to step out of their comfort zone. They won’t want to share this because they might feel embarrassed by it.

Hope this has been helpful.

Corinne Coe