I registered for the site for the sole purpose of responding here from the other point of view. I myself have behaved in the same manor as your ex. I have become belligerently drunk and tore down the person I love more than anything else in the world. I have made her cry and let her down repeatedly. The fact that she is still with me is truly a blessing. I cant tell you whether or not he is truth when drunk or sober, but I can share my knowledge. I have this cousin. We were very close and went through some serious addictions together when we were young. We were raised in a family that this was considered normal and its a pretty big family. I was fairly young when I met my girlfriend. (I’m 30 now and I was 20 then so maybe not too young.) anyways every time I got together with my cousin we would proceed to get drunk and it got to the point where both of our significant other were weary every time we were together. If I was to lose my cool and black out and start screaming and yelling the next morning I felt nothing but remorse and guilt and apologized profusely, in my opinion if you drink to where you cant remember then you have no way of denying anything. My cousin on the other hand would remain quiet and give a quick apology and act like nothing happened. He would say its in his blood or blame his now ex-wife for not letting him have fun. Eventually, I took the steps and cut alcohol out of my life. Not for my girlfriend but because I wanted to give her a happy life. When I cut out alcohol I had zero support from my cousin or my family ( actually I had one or two uncles, but not my parents. ) The way I see it, unless we can admit our faults and sincerely reflect on ourselves with an open mind and without our built in opinions we can never grow. I don’t know the guy, but it doesn’t sounds like that is his prerogative. I can drink now a days with a little more control. I didn’t touch a drop for five years and naturally a lot of the outside influences that contributed to my outbursts slowly fell away. My cousin is on probation and is still in the same vicious cycle. In fact I take his two beautiful little girls on the weekends when he either gets thrown in the drunk tank or enters a rehab for the majillionth time. In my opinion you cant focus on whether your decision is right or wrong, but be proud you made a decision. The mean hate full things I said when I was drunk I never saw as truth but more of a metaphor for my insecurities. It was never my girlfriend that needed fixing, but myself.