Jen,

I applaud you for trying to be the best person you can be under difficult circumstances. Matt gave you some wonderful advice. I’d like to add to that based on my experience having a narcissistic father. Figuring out how to live right while not becoming their victim is a difficult road. I have found solace and guidance online from others who have trudged the same mine-filled path at a website called The Narcissistic Life (I have no affiliation with this site other than I read it when I am feeling lost).

While I am no expert on Buddhism and I cannot offer any advice on karma, when my father launches another verbal attack I do find a great amount of peace from the phrase, “This is not mine.” When my dad makes an angry accusation or insult, I just remember that phrase. His actions are on him. Not me. And I am able to react calmly and walk away.

If you are able to get some distance from your mother, that might be something you want to consider. My life improved considerably once I was no longer dependent on my father for anything.

Good luck and do not lose hope. You can make it through. It may take some time and planning. But you can get there and it will get better.