Hi Jennifer,

Firstly, I empathize with your situation.  My father has Alzheimer’s disease and is in the last weeks, if not days of his life.  His change in status was extremely sudden – he was mobile and coherent several weeks ago and is now permanently bed-bound.  I am in a full time graduate program and have personally made the choice to extend my time in the program to spend time caring and being with my father and family during his final days.  The choice was not simple nor straightforward.  The emotions are contradictory and complex at time.

Relationships with parents are unique and complex.  Have you asked your mother about her wishes?  I ask you that question not so her answer is your answer, but to perhaps help separate what her wishes are from what yours are.  Are her wishes contradictory to yours?

Finally, I would like to refer back to my personal (ongoing) experience with my father when I say this – you can always change your mind.  It seems that your mother’s illness, although terminal, is currently well managed.  I speak from experience when I say that I know the fear of the known unknown can be overwhelming.  Know this though, if you decide to leave, you can always choose to come back if her health declines.  And know that if that moment comes, you will make the choice that is right for you.

Best to you,

Dai