Hi Kimberly,

Your post resonated with me. I was in a very similar situation to yours about 2 years ago. I had gotten out of a relationship that brought stress and pain to my life and had started to focus on my physical and mental health and I wasn’t looking for a relationship for awhile. About 6 months later though I realized that I wanted to share something with somebody, very similar to how I am sure you are feeling now.

This is my first post on Tiny Buddha but I am sure that the community, and maybe even yourself, are familiar with the Law of Attraction. One of the basics of this is that what we wish to be… we become, but that which we fear not having will attract the same, the lack of that thing that we wish.

I’m an introvert so I use dating apps to meet people, but every time I go on a date I get excited and then feel anxious and sad after the date.

When you mentioned this it crossed my mind that this could be the problem that you are experiencing. Dating is difficult in some ways but also very simple when you realize this one thing… People want to be with the people that act / seem like they don’t need them. Isn’t that crazy? The girl at the bar who’s not looking for attention usually receives all of it. The confident guy who doesn’t need anybody has girls constantly hitting him up. When I realized this, I’m not even kidding, I met the girl I am currently very happy with only a few months later.

It’s about learning to detach your emotions from the outcome of that interaction, the outcome of that text or that date. Talk to them like nothing is at stake. Soon you will start to feel like nothing is, that every missed interaction is not the love of your life slipping away. When you do this – I promise – you will start to find that which you are looking for but have detached from the need to have.

Best of luck and I wish you all the best in the world as you navigate this part of your life.

-Austin