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    Hello F,


    Yes, there are people like you, I am one myself: heavy drinker since age 27, it started in college due to extreme feelings of powerlessness, control over my future, and self-doubt. Add to that my first thought of suicide was as a kid back in 1978-ish and you can surmise I am a lifelong member of the FUL club(f’ed up life).


    My recommendation to you: form a mission statement that no matter how bad, unworthy, confused and stressed you feel, you will not allow your educations to suffer.


    The bad news is there is no therapy, 12-step program or friend who will rid you of your problems. You will have good days, and bad days, and really wtf days sometimes, ok most of the time, but you can still become wildly successful


    Here’s what not to do:

    1. go to the gym too much

    2. do not make it easy to buy alcohol. You want to drink? Fine, but you are walking at least a mile to and a mile back from that liquor store. It will give you time to reflect on your latest downtrend.

    3. do not beat yourself up. You’re gay? You’re a drunk? You’re filled with anxiety? YOU ARE NORMAL. Everyone has no clue what tomorrow may bring, that is why medication is a gazillion dollar industry.

    4. do not tell anyone about your struggles with sobriety. Fight the beast on your own time. google OPSEC

    5. try – maybe start learning to code Python or Java Script. Your nerd power will improve, you’ll meet hyper-pedantic people and learn to enjoy wine time 🙂

    6. In case you didn’t read #3 don’t beat yourself up. Life is hard, very hard.

    7. make a gratitude inventory. Start small , like “Soy feliz que Dios me dio piernas que funciona”. Disculpa mi Espanol – hecho sin Google. being grateful is the start of building joy in life

    8. Visualize your future, research your desired future industry, busy yourself learning about others in your desired field.

    9. accept that suffering is an unavoidable facet to being human.

    10. do not buy into magic beans, there is no easy way to anything life.


    Godspeed young brother, you have literally the best times of your life ahead of you.

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