anita,

He was drunk and upset and there was yelling but I needed space not because he was aggressive (which he usually wasn’t, until that last conversation) but because I was unsure of what I wanted anymore and to find the reason as to why I wasn’t happy anymore. Before I moved home, I had gone through a bad friendship breakup, I was ghosted by my close knit group of friends right after this bad injury and I was emotionally unstable and he was there for me through it all. But since then, I have changed a lot, Ive grown more confident and willing to speak my mind, and I think we didn’t have the chance to change and grow together and it felt like I was still that person when we’d speak, I was unsure of who I was and what I wanted when the breakup happened because life’s been a rollercoaster of experience for me lately.

But regarding how I had been there for him, I now realize that I could’ve handled situations like those better and been more supportive, even though I thought I was. This will be something I’ll be more conscious of in the future, and apologize when I get that chance. Thank you for bringing this to light, I always try to be my best self but it helps when someone helps light the way.

Eve

Anita,

Thank you for pointing that out because I am still unfortunately confused about what those issues are. Every fight, which was usually about our communication kind of just got forgotten about. He wouldn’t tell me how he felt and I’ve expressed to him that he needs to because I think he had these issues with me that I never even knew about until the end. He said I’d never apologize to him, I think I’m always right and that I needed to get over my ego. But during the relationship, he never brought up those issues with me to where I could’ve realized that’s how he felt so I could change it. Which circles back to our communication issue because I think that him not opening himself up to me stunted the conversation and we both kinda felt that. Looking back, maybe he was afraid to open himself up to me because I can be harsh and unthoughtful at times. But I wish I had known this then so I could’ve worked on myself but now I know, I can be better.

Anita,

Thank you. But no I didn’t start a new relationship with someone else, I just made new friendships with new people and was happier in those than in my own relationship. I was unhappy at the situation, I was unhappy that we couldn’t hold a conversation for more than 5-10 minutes anymore and when we did, it was always in silence or awkwardness because in a long distance relationship, what really is there to talk about. And in any issue that came up, it was not talked out and forgotten about and I was fed up with the underlying issues that weren’t being said. I said to him that I wish he wouldn’t overlook the issues in our relationship because he would just put a bandaid on them and forget them, which drove me crazy.

Mark,

That response has helped me a lot, it brings me to control these emotions that are just so overwhelming. We are both so young, and we have so much time. I keep wondering if I would stay unhappy if I was with him, which I guess is how all breakups go. We promised we would stay in touch and stay friends but he’s iced me out, understandably and I will wait. But I want to go back and make everything right and Im worried that in doing so, Ill only make it worse for him.